deernet | video; un: taka [ memory share ]

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video; un: taka [ memory share ]

[ happier memory ]
[ It starts off with a stupid looking twelve year old blond kid in an orange jump suit turning towards a twelve year old Sasuke and Sakura, his eyes narrowed mischievously. ]

Hey... Don't you wanna see it? It's about time...

What?

You know what I'm talking about! Kakashi-sensei's... real face!

[ Naruto had gotten right up into Sakura's face, and she gasps, punching him on reflex. ]

What's the matter with you?!

[ Sasuke turns away from them both, rolling his eyes. ]

This is stupid. Count me out.

Yeah, you're probably right...

What if he has lips like a blimp?

[ Sasuke freezes in his foot steps. He pictures their sensei, his mask covered face, his hand lifting to pull it down and revealing a huge, bulging set of red lips. It's...disgustingly hilarious. ]

Or maybe... buck teeth!

[ The image of Kakashi with big lips is replaced by one with insanely large teeth, the kind of exaggeration only children can make in their imaginations. It is... possibly the stupidest thing that could break his resolve, and yet...

Sasuke turns back around, folding his arms over his chest. He's reluctantly agreeing and the three start to hash out their plan. The memory unfolds to show them trying to repeatedly get Kakashi to reveal his face in some way; they treat him to ramen, the three of them watching intensely, only to have their friends block their view and Kakashi's mask is pulled back up before they can get them to move. They try to serve them tea, but Naruto spills it and Kakashi blocks it by yanking up a table with all the snacks on it, ruining any chance that he'll have to remove his mask to eat. Sasuke and Naruto sneak into a bath house, figuring he has to take off his mask in there, but Kakashi emerges with a towel covering his face where the mask should be. They even pose as rogue ninja to try and attack him and pull his mask down in a fight, but Kakashi overpowers them easily.

And, strangely enough, they end up revealing actual ninja who were there to hurt Kakashi, foiling their plan by being idiots but making it look like they saw right through the ninjas well-thought out plan.

It's not until they're all in front of him for another mission that they finally do something smart: they ask. ]

You want to know what's behind my mask?

Will you show us?

Sure, I don't mind.

[ The three of them are at full attention, each anxiously staring as Kakashi lifts his hand to pull his mask down. It feels agonizingly slow, each kid picturing what's going to come next, before he finally reveals... ]

It's another mask! Pretty cool, huh?

[ The three of them collapse on the ground and thank God this memory finally comes to an end. ]

[ worst memory]
[ CWs: mass murder, parent death, mental torture, ptsd, violence ]

[ The memory cuts in as a seven year old Sasuke wakes in a room that's sterile and white, a curtain pulled around his bed. The hospital. He pulls himself up, not entirely sure what's going on at first. Walking into the halls, he can hear the nurses gossip, reminding him of the very thing he's in here for. ]

That boy was the only one who survived the massacre.

Someone said he has an older brother. Is that right?

He does, but no one knows where he is right now.

I can't believe it. That the elite Uchiha clan could just be...

[ Sasuke bolts from the hospital hall before the conversation can finish, running through the streets of Konoha until he reaches the entrance to the part of town where his clan had been banished too. There's police tape across the gate, tape he stares at, but ignores as he finally ducks underneath, just wanting to go home.

There's a moment where he thinks he sees his Aunt and Uncle greeting him, their hands raised to wave him back after a long day at school. But the image goes static, blurs, before disappearing entirely. In its place is just blood soaked gravel and dirt. Sasuke feels like he's been kicked in the stomach, and as if to emphasize the mood, it starts to rain.

He walks through the still blood soaked streets towards his home, memories flooding his head as he goes.

Good morning, Sasuke! Heading off to school now, are you? I saw your brother earlier. He's grown into such a man. He's an excellent shinobi, isn't he? ... That boy is the pride of the Uchiha clan, no doubt about it.

Sasuke stops and stares at his family crest painted on the wall, cracked and broken from where a kunai had been thrown into the rock. It's the crest just outside his own house. He pushes open the sliding door, staring at his empty house like he doesn't quite get why it's so dark. He walks inside, and an image of his mother invades his head.

Sasuke-kun, welcome home.

He takes his shoes off out of habit before walking through the rest of the home. He thinks he sees his father, but he vanishes like a ghost, just like the others. There's a bang from the kitchen and Sasuke bolts for it, his heart filled with hope. ]

Mom?!

[ His heart sinks when he sees it's just a cat eating the scraps. He leaves the room without another word, heading to the main room. There's still blood sprayed across the floor, the chalk outline of his parents bodies on the ground. He sinks to his knees beside them, the image of their bloodied corpses stuck in his head, and his brother, Itachi, standing over them.

Foolish little brother... There's a memory of himself in an illusion, standing in the same streets he just walked down, watching as his brother kills their clan, as the bodies fall in front of him, and he screams, begging for it to end.

The memory fades and Sasuke's still sitting in the same, empty room, kneeling in the dried blood stains, staring at them with empty eyes. His brother's voice echoes in his head once more.

At present, you are not worth killing. ... If you want to kill me, despise me, hate me, and live a loathsome life... Run away.

He feels tears stinging his eyes, before they start to come in waves, and he finally lets himself cry. ]

. . .

[ Sasuke should say something, right? Acknowledge that this just got blasted everywhere?

But instead he sighs in irritation and goes to toss his Omni into the ocean. It'll come back. But it at least made him feel better for now. ]

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[ She can guess that he's downplaying it, same as he's accusing her of doing. Truth is she knows she's downplaying it, but she's torn on letting it out the way her heart is screaming at her to do. ]

I...

[ She swallows the knot in her throat because holding back the sob burns. ]

...I'm sorry, it's just so terrifying to see it all. To see what you went through. I knew, but...

I don't want to cry. [ She says as she wipes at her eyes with the back of her wrist like she always does when she can't hold it back. ]

I want to be strong for you because you're hurting and I know are, so don't bother lying to me about it.

[ Sasuke watches her try to keep herself together through the feed, frowning deeply at it. He could answer her through the omni, of course, but it doesn't feel right when he can clearly see she's sitting at home.

So he shuts off his feed and a few minutes later, he's entering their room... through... the window.

It's normal. Whatever.

He goes to sit down next to her, quiet for a minute. ]

... I'm more used to people knowing than having to explain.

[ AKA it was almost a relief to have it out there. No, he didn't want it to be spread quite like this, with such intimate knowledge of the event, but at least now he wouldn't have to constantly have to bring it up when people mentioned family or asked him about his own. ]

[ She jumps a bit at his sudden presence, but she settles quickly enough. She's glad to have him there, even if she is embarrassed by her emotions. ]

No you aren't! No one gets used to that! Don't ask me to be honest and then say something like that. You don't have to pretend with me.

[ She always has gotten more passionate when she's crying and emotional, clearly that hadn't changed too much over the years, even if she was more mellow in general. ]

Edited 2022-06-08 03:49 (UTC)

[ He doesn't even flinch really at her outburst, instead reaching over to place his hand on top of hers. ]

I'm not pretending. [ There's a beat as he tries to figure out how to put the thoughts in his head into words. It's probably the most challenging thing in the world for him when it comes to shit like this. ] It's... not the pain that I've grown used to. I know the memories will always hurt. But it's...

[ He stops, sighing and shaking his head as he looks away. ]

I know I sound like an idiot or a liar, but it feels worse to have to tell the story over and over than it does to have the people here just see it for themselves. Even if I'd rather it had been a less... personal rendition.

[ She takes a deep breath, allowing his words to sink into her. At least he was opening up about it. It was something. ]

Sasuke-kun, I get it, you're a private person. All those days of coming to school and none of us had any idea of the depth of what you were going through. We just thought you were too cool for everything, that your aloofness represented that. I know you must feel deeply troubled by everyone seeing that.

[ She looks down at her lap, resting her hands there before looking up at him, still teary eyed. ]

But I know you, and I know that the memory of us doesn't impact you. So I think it's more than just pain at having people see it. It must hurt terribly to relive it.

[ Sasuke's quiet after those words, because... Well. It's a decent call out. He wants to argue that the memory of them embarrassed him, which his ego wants to say is worse, but in the long run... Is it really when he once again had to be reminded of the pain of Itachi's torture and the loss of his family?

He swallows, looking away, his jaw tight as he thinks. Maybe she does know him. Too well, probably. ]

... People are going to think he was a monster.

[ Is that really the worse part of it? Or does the reminder just shake his faith in how much his brother really was a hero? ]

I don't like seeing that side of him again.

[ She'd come so close to calling out that embarrassment, so good thing she knows him well.

Sakura hasn't always been able to put how she feels about Itachi or what happened between them into words. She sees that and she does see a man who was monstrous in his actions, so much so that a part of her wants to hate him for what he put Sasuke through. But she also sees the man she loves next to her and she knows it's complicated.

She reaches over and brushes her fingers against his. ]

People thought you were a monster, but I knew you were more than that. Sometimes, you just have to be content to know things about a person that others don't. You're the only one with the whole picture, so...trust that.

[ The whole picture. His forehead creases slightly at the thought. If he had the whole picture, why is there still so much about Itachi he doesn't understand? Things about his choices that confuse him?

He shifts his hand so that he can place a few of his fingers over her own, letting them rest there. The contact helps at least a little, he's finding, which is something new and strange in itself. ]

Mm.

[ Such eloquence, as always. ]

[ She lets her fingers weave with his, squeezing them gently.

A man of so many words as always. She offers a tired smile, both wishing he'd say more, but knowing him well enough to know that "mm" meant a lot. ]

I'm glad you see it my way.

[ At least she could always take his silence as a win, or point it out to him as such. ]

[ There's a half-hearted snort, because really, he did see it her way with that particular point. No one in Konoha knew Itachi wasn't a monster, and he'd had to comfort himself with knowing the truth. Why should it change here?

That question entering his mind makes something ache in his heart, and there's a brief moment of confusion on his face because of it. It gives him pause, his hand squeezing hers in return finally as he lets that feeling sink in. ]

I guess I just wanted this place to be different.

[ She takes the returned squeeze of her fingers as a green light and reaches out to press her palm gently against his cheek. ]

I don't think this place was made to be gentle.

[ She thinks for a moment, looking at him with the utmost affection. ]

The difference is though, you don't have to go through it alone.

[ He looks over to her when she touches his face, his eyes searching her for a moment, though he doesn't quite know what he's looking for. Not being alone is still something so foreign to him, even after their time here, even after his redemption. Maybe he wasn't forcing people away the way he had before, but he hadn't exactly found a path in life that actually let him be around or lean on others.

There's that feeling again, the heaviness he feels when he's around her, the ache he can't quite place when they touch like this. It's like the moment during his corruption back in February and just as overwhelming.

It's that connection that makes him decide to try what he hasn't since that day and he leans forward, going to kiss her without warning.

This is... fine, probably. ]

[ Did he just...??

Her eyes widen a bit as the realization settles in over her. Quickly enough she melts into it, because she's waited so long for him to kiss her like this again. It's tender and sweet, perhaps less passion filled as their first kiss, but wonderful all the same.

She fights the desire to throw her arms around him and pull him closer, not wanting to add unwanted tension to the kiss. Instead, she lifts her hand to his cheek in encouragement and acceptance before gently deepening it. ]

[ Sasuke seems to be slightly more in control than he had been when the corruption had been pushing him forward. There's an obvious attempt at keeping himself under control, to not overwhelm himself with the intensity of it all.

He hesitates for only a second before opening his mouth a little more to encourage her deepening the kiss. His heart feels like it's pounding and it still feels so unfamiliar. But it feels nice, and so he reaches his own hand out, putting it on her waist as he pulls himself a little closer to her. ]

[ Sakura was tentative in response, letting him be the one to lead the moment. The last thing she wanted was to scare him off. At the same time, kissing him feels amazing and she'd been living off her memories of the last one.

His hand on her waist is enough to make her sigh against his mouth and she can feel that desire to be close to him once again bubbling to the surface. Her desire to be kissed by him has only grown since their first a few months ago, so she eagerly welcomes anything he's willing to give her. ]

[ There was a warmth spreading through him, that same desire to push her down into the futon overcoming him, and he has to stop himself. He pulls back, though not as forcefully as the last time. It's a gentle end to the kiss, his forehead going to rest against hers as he catches his breath for a moment. ]

... Sorry.

[ What??? Why is he apologizing??? It feels stupid even to him the moment it leaves his mouth. ]

For not asking.

[ His apology catches her completely off guard, far more than even the kiss did. She looks at him blankly for a moment before he explains further, and his explanation gets a gentle laugh out of her. She shakes her head, her cheeks flushing deeply. ]

No, no, no. Don't apologize for that!

[ After all she wants him to kiss her, and far more often than he had been. When she gets over her own embarrassment, she reaches out to take his hand. ]

Look, let's just say from here on out, you have permission to kiss me anytime you want to.

[ Any time he wants to? The idea makes his face turn a little more red, though he can't pin point why. It would be impossible for him to admit to himself just how often he's wanted to kiss her, and just how concerned he is that it would go farther than that.

And yet he doesn't bring himself to shoot the invitation down as he might have in the past. He pauses in thought, reaching out to brush his fingers against her cheek. ]

Hn.

[ That gives her... absolutely nothing and he's aware of that. He lowers his hand, looking away from her. There's a question on the tip of his tongue, but it takes all his strength to actually get it out. ]

How often do you want me to?

[ For her part, Sakura has been thinking about it a lot. She's pretty sure that at least seventy-five percent of her day has involved thinking about him, and for once she's allowed herself to completely indulge in letting her mind drift to him.

While he was away, both before he'd returned and after he'd left to redeem himself, she'd find him slipping into her thoughts all the time. The difference was that she'd had to keep her mind on other things so as not to go too crazy with missing him. Now that he's here with her, she finds herself not pushing away the thoughts of being with him, kissing him, even going farther than that. She's not afraid to, but she hasn't wanted to push.

She finds herself bravely leaning in so that her lips are hovering over his.]

When you wake up in the morning...before bed...and every possible minute in between?

[ She punctuates each suggestions with a peck, before kissing him deeply. ]

[ Sasuke closes his eyes when he feels her hovering, barely managing to return each kiss that she gives him before he feels her lips pressed more firmly against his again. He can feel his face heating at the idea of kissing quite so often, but doing it now, when he isn't as pushed by corruption, at least makes it a little less overwhelming than it had been before.

He holds the kiss for a moment, before he pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against hers. His hand reaches up to brush her cheek, playing gently with her hair, and he leans in to give her another soft, quicker kiss. ]

That sounds like it won't leave room for anything else.

[ The joy she feels over the knowledge that he now openly returns her feelings settles in over her again and her eyes slip shut as she takes it all in. she doesn't have to hide this anymore and it's freeing and satisfying on a deeply emotional level.

She opens her eyes and gives a small nod. ]

There is a lot of kissing we've already missed out on over the years.

[ A lot of time she would have preferred to be kissing him, particularly those last two years when she'd been almost certain that he actually wanted to. ]

And now that I no longer have to fantasize about kissing you, I can't help but feel a little greedy.

[ He snorts, shifting to place a kiss against her forehead instead this time. ]

Glad to see the reality isn't a disappointment in comparison.

[ Despite the slightly teasing tone, he was actually relieved. Sasuke had never kissed anybody (Naruto did not count), and he'd been hardly interested in it for years. There had been a real certainty that maybe he would just be... terrible at it, though if you'd told him just a few years ago that he'd be worried about these sorts of things, he'd have laughed at you. ]

[ Even the small act of his lips pressed to her forehead, the same place he'd poked her two years prior, makes her stomach flip pleasantly. ]

Not at all. It was absolutely worth the wait.

[ She lets out a sigh. ]

I understand the wait though, and it was my own fault you didn't kiss me all those years ago.

[ Sasuke tilts his head, forehead creasing slightly with some obvious confusion. He knows he doesn't remember a lot of things clearly from his time in Konoha as a kid, but usually his memories with her are fairly strong.

And this one he's drawing a blank on. ]

When did you think I was going to kiss you?

[ She blinks a bit at that response. Wasn't that such a pivotal moment. The first time he'd ever called her "annoying". He'd made it clear, despite his outward lie, that he recalled that part.

Her cheeks flush and she's not sure she wants to ruin the moment by bringing it up. ]

It was just before you called me annoying for the first time.

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