Text; UN: Dynamight

[detonating]

You nerds don't realize how lucky you were that I got sidelined in a cocoon during that tournament. Any of you who were in the Unarmed Combat Division are feeling like you didn't get enough? Let me know cause I'm itching to kick some asses into the dirt... especially the winner's. That was MY fucking title.

[Locked from Ochako]

On the subject of HER, listen up.

I'm looking to throw her a thing. A party, or whatever. She's gotten screwed outta her birthday between the last shithole world we came from and here, and I know how much it's gotten on her nerves every time another one of our birthdays rolls around. Since time is a fat ass lie and no one can stop me, I'm taking the initiative and aging her up. 27th of this month, still figuring out the place. Will update once I know where it'll be.

Besides the birthday crap, anyone who knows her knows that she deserves something fucking nice for everything that she does for other people.

If you're friends of Ochako Uraraka, you'd better be there. Unless you wanna get your ass blown to pieces.

And say so, so I can get a damn headcount for food and shit.

Comments

text; un:lady

[dohaeris]

[this post...is not as helpful as it could be. it took sansa four paragraphs to figure out that this person was talking about ochako.]

You might tell us where it is we're meant to be if we don't want to be blown to pieces.

[detonating]

[he's smart, but sometimes he's not.]

Learn to read better, then. I said I'd update the damn thing once I knew where it'd be.

[dohaeris]

Forgive me, for most of your post I was very distracted trying to determine whose nameday we were meant to be celebrating in the first place.

I don't suppose you have her measurements for a dress or jacket?

[detonating]

She took first place in the Unarmed Combat Division. Said speaking of HER. Didn't think I'd need to hold anyone's fuckin' hand through translating. My bad.

[That's sarcasm, and it doesn't translate well either. Maybe he'll come off as apologetic for real and save them both a headache.

ALSO this question has him nearly spitting out his drink. Thank you, Sansa.]

That'd make me a creep and the answer is hell no, I don't just have her measurements ON HAND! The fuck.

Text; UN: Filledwithsunshine

[onebadapple]

Oh! What a kind and loving friend you are to care so deeply for Ochako and do this for her!

[detonating]

For fuck's sake. Spare the feel-good-sappy-crap, it's gonna make me puke.

You know her? You +1ing this shit or what?

[onebadapple]

Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't want to upset your tummy, I didn't know it was so sensitive that just some words could set it off!

I do! I would like to think we're friends but I never wish to assume.

text | un: younghuman

[terriblepurpose]

Are you going to fight her at the party?

[detonating]

How's about you shove your sarcasm right up your ass?

[Because he doesn't read that as anything BUT sarcasm. Someone stop him. Telling Snow White to put anything where the sun doesn't shine is so inappropriate and he doesn't even know. HAS NO IDEA.]

Well I can't tell you if you are or not! If you've talked to her or hung out with her and it was nice or whatever, then probably???? She makes friends easily, it's like. Part of her stupid charm or whatever.

[dohaeris]

You did say you missed the tourney, and you didn't say who you were. You could be her mother, or her tailor. And while I understand the value of misdirection in planning for a surprise, you did make it seem as if you were more interested in kicking the winner of the unarmed combat division into the dirt than throwing a party for her. You must forgive me for falling for your clever trick, since I am so very bad at reading.

I suppose I can find some excuse to have her over and take her measurements myself. It's very good of you of you to give her a nameday party. Thank you for inviting all of us.

[detonating]

She'd have to know about the party for that to be a possibility. So, no.

[That her not knowing about the party is the only reason he wouldn't?? Says a lot about him.]

[onebadapple]

My sarcasm? I'm not sure I understand. Didn't you say you were going to be sick at my being nice? Would you rather I be mean? I don't know how good I would be at being mean, but I can try, if you like?

[She will fail spectacularly at trying to be mean.]

Or would you prefer I have someone send you some ginger for your tummy? There's really nothing to be ashamed about at having a sensitive constitution.

Ooooh, you really are such a good friend, she is rather charming, I agree!

[detonating]

[If it wasn't sarcasm, then this person is just a massive fucking idiot.

And he is trying SO hard. SOOOOOO hard not to completely go Baku Rage Aura on them. Like expending every effort he has to keep himself from completely and utterly Losing His Shit. Especially at the sensitive constitution bullshit. Holy fuck. Fuck. Can not actually murder Ochako's friends. Can not.

This is why he does not get on the network. Ever.]

I wasn't being literal, and obviously you're in short supply of brain cells or you woulda realized that. Just shut the hell up and drop it.

You coming to her birthday or not?

un: shouto

[swellter]

[ What an unexpectedly kind and considerate gesture. More so now that he thinks about their last conversation.

Ne, Todoroki-kun...when's your birthday, again? .... Aah...I'm still a year behind everyone now!! I'm supposed to be older than you normally, at least!! ]

I didn't realize she was upset by it.

[ She changed topics so quickly and he'd moved on without ever suspecting how much it bothered her. ]

How can I help?

Text UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

Okay. Not going to lie.

I would pay to see you two shits throw down.

If she accepts the challenge I'll fucking ref it.

[onebadapple]

So you took all that effort to type all that out? My goodness! But we can certainly drop it, that's alright, I don't mind.

I would love to attend her birthday! Would you like me to make a cake for it?

Text UN: ClickClickBloom

[onekindsoul]

Oh my gosh!
This is so cuuuuuute.
You're so angry and fired up but you're so soft and planning a birthday party for her.
This is amazing.

I will be there!
If you need any help setting something up just let me know.
I'm great at parties.

[She is not great at parties.]

Text; UN: Cuddlebunny

[lightthedarkness]

Does that mean you're gonna become Amaterasu's student, too?

And I will totally be there for Ochako's birthday![She's with Ruby on this one, this is absolutely adorable that he's such a massive tsundere all while planning a birthday party.]

You clearly care for Ochako-chan a lot!

[terriblepurpose]

So it's not an ambush?

That's sensible. I'd be afraid of her too. What would you suggest in the way of gifts?

[detonating]

Ain't something she's said out right. I just read in between the lines.

[Here's to hoping this socially awkward fuck doesn't look too far into that shit, or say anything about it at the very least. Katsuki is really cutting it close, on showing people how he feels about her here and that shit is really uncomfortable.

But Ochako deserves this. His discomfort can go fuck itself, it's for her.]

Got a list of shit to do/find.

Place to host
Food/drink
Decorations
Cake

Headcount is needed for most of that. So... fucking find decorations I guess. Report back when you've got em.

And don't fuck it up.

private, text; un: Oracle

[adaine]

This must be a special kind of hell for you, huh.

[Sorry, Bakugou, she isn't going to pretend she's not delighted at your suffering. All these people accusing him of having feelings...]

I'll come. I like Ochako. If you need any help ensuring that the people that were after you guys can't get in, I can set up a perimeter ward if you'd like whenver you decide on the location.

[swellter]

[ Did you really expect him not to poke at this?! After you made a VERY public announcement regarding your Admiration for the titular holder of the Unarmed Combat Division?! Threatening people, demanding their presence for HER sake. One is not like the other. ]

Between what lines?

[ Then again, he's dense as shit, so maybe Bakugou's safe. Or maybe he should be wary of what he might let spill and to whom. He might not reach the right conclusions, but he picks up on things. Wonder what someone with a keener sense can end up picking up on from his musings. ]

When do you need them by?

[ You fool! You didn't even give him a list! Watch him bring back ALL the decorations Trench has to offer! ]

[detonating]

[First case (and won't be the last by any means) of gritting his fucking teeth and doing what he never, ever does: letting it go. They're just gonna go in circles otherwise, and his temper isn't going to last under these conditions. Ochako knows what to expect outta him, but Katsuki's goal here isn't to piss her off or disappoint her. He's gonna knock this making her happy shit outta the park, god dammit!]

Whatever.


If you can do that without giving it away, have at. Otherwise I guess I could snag one of her shirts and bring it to you.

[detonating]

That's not fucking dropping it! Shut up means shut up! Don't say anything else about it!

[His patience and hold on his temper (if you can call what he has done thus far holding it back, anyway) is faltering, don't mind him.]

Definitely gonna need one of those. Sure. I'll get you a headcount closer to it, so you know how much. The fuck's your name?

[detonating]

Ambushing is for cowards. And I ain't fucking scared of her.

But I won't underestimate her either.


She likes space. And mochi.