deernet | video; un: v | cw for creepy dolls i guess?

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video; un: v | cw for creepy dolls i guess?

[the video starts focused on a shelf, and on that shelf is a doll. absolutely the kind that just exudes 'listed on ebay for having the spirit of an angry victorian child in it' vibes with its dead eyes.

when viktor speaks his tone could not be more dry.] Some of you might have noticed the unpleasant dolls that, when ignored instead of bought, come to life violently. This is a matter our household is not entirely aware of because Palamedes continues to gladly buy any unpleasant doll he sets his sights upon.

[offscreen, but not like, very far offscreen (it is not a big living space), palamedes chimes in with a pointed, 'While I respect your aesthetic tastes, you're wrong, they're delightful,' that viktor will pointedly ignore as he continues.]

He will not stop bringing them. Some of them vanish after a week or two. He calls this one Sensible Bethany.

['She calls herself that, actually, I explained this already,' from the peanut gallery. the camera shifts as viktor turns to address him back]

Is this entire place not haunted enough without ugly dolls, I ask again? There is a limit, Palamedes.

[in the unfocused corner of the camera the doll absolutely turns its head to stare directly at the screen.]

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I don't know. [He really doesn't! Knocking on haunted house doors seems so wildly different from literally learning to spin up a spirit or twenty to ask historical questions, it's - hmm, definitely one of those 'missed things,' he supposes. Maybe he'd have been a haunted house enthusiast somewhere else, even with the necromancy. So,] Probably. Inevitably, to the detriment of everybody's patience.

[Ha ha. Fun stuff. Now, good, Viktor is coming around to their new child and her unique needs...]

He's very kind. And she hasn't attacked us; I imagine she's lonely. I'll bring her over in the morning, hm?

Hm, I suppose it will always be impossible to say when the dead were a part of your daily life. [a pause to consider before he decides.] I think you would. Even as a teenager you clearly were eager to get into anything remotely interesting.

[teen pal is still a precious gift the trench gave him.]

Yes, let's. I swear, you're going to start adopting ghosts sooner or later. I suppose I should resign myself to it. [if he didn't sound fond it would probably actually work as a complaint.]

Thank you, I know that's a compliment. [nerds.] If I'd known you when we were children, I'd have dragged you with me.

[They would have broken into the chemrunner house, metaphorically speaking. Sorry, little Viktor.]

And— well, someone ought to. Not- I'm not adopting them. It's just helping out. If Bethany calls me Dad, I'm turning her around to face the wall. [And for Bethany, pointedly raising his voice a little:] And I know she heard that and knows better than to be fresh because she thinks it's funny.

[incredibly dadlike of him but whatever]

[viktor's lips quirk at that, it's incredibly easy to see. maybe hits him in his lonely kid feelings a little, enough to make him snort to cover it.] We could have taken notes, made a map. Hopefully not been shot.

[a good time, genuinely.]

Oh, nothing paternal about anything here. [viktor points out to be helpful, his smile is definitely not a smirk.] Calling children out for being fresh and threatening a time-out is not at all fatherlike.

Nothing beats a little high-risk adventuring.

[Dear Trench: next time they have to endure a weird alternate-selves dream, let them hang out as awkward children, that will be much more wholesome even if equally dangerous. They will probably not be shot.]

My father didn't put me in time-out for being fresh. [does this explain a lot about him, definitely, will he observe it, no] You've been scolding her for her errant behavior more than I have, besides.

[viktor hums in agreement, despite having learned at least something from remina. sort of. a bit. hopefully one day they will revert to nerd children who have learned no such lesson and cause trouble either in zaun or the sixth.

wholesome. probably. lot of dead bodies in both those places.]

That explains quite a lot about you. [yeah, viktor agrees there. and he rolls his eyes.] I am in my thirties and spent several years teaching fresh faced academy nightmares. You are just naturally like this. I am sorry, Palamedes, you may be fatherlike.

It doesn't. You've almost met my mother.

[She explains more about him, in his humble opinion, thanks. Not that the elusive Dad is a bad guy, or anything, and not that Palamedes elbows children, but if there's a parent he takes after... well.

Like, leaving aside all the times Palamedes has made people tea and occasionally literally gotten down to the ground to comfort them on their level, that's normal friend behavior with no traces of anything else at all.]

Anyway— fine. Maybe. It's also possible that you are cantankerous around rich kids, specifically.

["possible"]

[the mention of her makes viktor brighten a little. she was fascinating, that woman who would stop for no child.] That is true. It is a mix then of no time outs and her impressive will being passed to the next generation.

[only less likely to elbow a child. if that is better or not is for you to decide.]

You threw an entire party to cheer up your teen gaggle. You help a child's sports team. [viktor stacks up the the evidence, leaning into pal and quite comfortable. having a great time, honestly.] Eh, probably. They were the ones who started it anyway.

[stop dadcasting him, oh my god]

Anyone could do those things! Anyway, you make your teen gaggle homemade dinners, what, once a week? More? You're just as bad as I am.

[This is maybe a matter of opinion, but as far as Palamedes is concerned, it's precisely the same level of fussy familial instinct. Shut up. He tilts his head to press a kiss to the side of Viktor's neck when he leans back into him, but like, also shut up. Huff.]

I still pointedly object to any dad-calling.

[stop being a dad then.]

I wouldn't have to if any of you knew how to cook. [he huffs.] And mine isn't a gaggle, I only have the two. They are more than enough to keep up with, thank you.

[pal's really not wrong though. his lips quirk at the kiss, dry when he says,]

Whatever you say, master Warden. Surely that is all this is and not your soft touch with the troubled youths.

[He hums, like, he tried cooking? He tried it and he didn't super like it, but he will continue to attempt learning because it makes Viktor happy, at least. Compromises. He can make sandwiches and cold cereal, which he thinks is enough.]

Hmm, you're making fun of me; maybe I should bring home more dolls, after all. They'll keep you company while I'm busy adopting the whole city.

[Another kiss, for emphasis. Of what, one just cannot be certain.]

[the attempt is appreciated. maybe he'll see if pal wants to learn poptart making and other portable foods, would that sweeten the pot.]

I have never made fun you you. [another dirty lie.] We'll need a bigger bunker then. Maybe we can just open it up to the various menacing tunnels that no doubt sprawl all over the city and work from there.

[at that he turns, to steal a proper kiss and, unfortunately, be sincere instead of dry.] I like that you care about those in the dolls, you know. It is sweet, even if the aesthetic is terrible and they stare.

[It will, but he will be inclined to ask without irony if a poptart counts as a ravioli, so be ready mentally.

He snorts, once again rewarding this terrible lying with a tighter hug around the middle.]

And have more people trying to break in, thinking we have all sorts of treasure stashed in here? No, thank you. [Ah, but there it is, the shift from sassy to sappy, he's been waiting. He hums, satisfied.]

My aesthetic is terrible and I stare. [ha ha, but okay, seriously,] I don't know why she- or the old man, for that matter- hasn't managed to move on, but I... empathize. Ghosts are people too, and so on.

[can anyone be mentally prepared for that? he'll just pretend the conversation isn't happening or maybe be happy he doesn't have to explain what ravioli is. one or the other.]

I really should rig the number pad to zap anyone who plays around with it. Like a later blessed day gift. [he muses like that isn't maybeee a little much. is it. just a little shock.

yeah it's sap time, complete with a hand to pal's jaw.] So you admit the grey is a terrible aesthetic. [not dry for long because now he's nodding.] Hopefully the old man gets along with her. I'd rather not- I would prefer her not to be bored.

[like stuck in a room for 8 months bored! hm.]

You could; I'd swoon, and not from the shock.

[Love language: booby traps on the door. He won't say no! He also will only admit grey is bad now, in this context, privately. Do not repeat this.]

If it makes you happy, yes. It's terrible. Undoubtedly the worst. And— thank you.

[For understanding, without him having to actually say it. It is an odd thing, to know intimately the loneliness of... haunting a thing, so - thanks. He covers Viktor's hand with his own, lacing their fingers together.]

Really. I promise I'm not trying to bother you with all of them. That much, anyway.

[his smile says he is going to gladly do that then, because pal asked and he's weak and sappy. even more a smile when pal says that about grey, it even gets a kiss. disgusting. terrible.

he holds pal's jaw for a moment like he's a very precious thing before saying,] Eh, Bethany is growing on me. Even though her name is ridiculous.

[that probably gets an indignant rattle from the doll, which viktor ignores. they're friends, really.] So bother away. As long as I am allowed to complain about it, sometimes publicly. It's good to keep the dolls humble.

[Insult his own color scheme more often; noted. He leans into that touch just a fraction, chuckling lightly about poor Bethany. She's sensible. Listen to her rattle.]

You've made her fuss. Is that humility? I don't know.

[Well, she'll probably be fine. He glances over at the doll, then back to Viktor.]

Is this going to be a monthly effort? Complaining? I'm concerned I'll exhaust my best quips too quickly.

She is sensible enough to keep her haunting tame, I suppose. Remina is the one who made us scrub blood from the walls.

[hey a good sign of that corruption gone down, that he can mention the Incident without getting petty or quiet.]

Oh no worries, I think with this post I'll burn out most of my complaining for a few months at least. Plenty of time for recharging quips. [a pause] And you do look good in grey. Even if you could try other colors sometimes.

[Ugh, Remina. Palamedes rolls his eyes with a short sigh; she sure did that, huh. Was it worth it, ma'am... probably, but he's still entitled to a mood about it.]

Well, keep me posted; I'll work on new material. [...hmm.] What colors? I know you want to dress me up for any given occasion, or non-occasion, so go on.

[have a squint like he's trying to tell if pal is serious, before he looks amused.] You're serious. You are giving me a lot of power here.

What about some dark blue? It can even have silver or grey accents to appease you. [his over a decade in piltover is showing. what, a man can't want to dress up his boyfriend sometimes? he deserves this, he lives with haunted dolls.]

I am doing exactly that, yes. Trust me, I've been paying attention.

[It's not hard to notice Viktor likes to dress him up? Or just dress him, in general? In colors or silly t-shirts or anything else. This is an apology for the haunted dolls, maybe; something like that.]

Dark blue is very Fourth. [sadly we must remember the Imperial Color-Coding at all times] Accents would help.

Is there any color that is safe? [a sigh. maybe he should just go for several colors and see how that goes. he was trying not to scare him off.

pal's chest gets a reassuring pat.]You are a brave soul. Forget the clothes for now, bribe me by promising to come to this baking disaster coming up.

Purple?

[Purple is not really his vibe. And oh, hmm, attending the baked goods arena (tm) is somehow even more intimidating than wearing a colorful shirt. He makes a face, tight-mouthed, like well! Must he, actually!]

I will, but if anyone besides you tries to peddle their baked wares to me, I'm going to be a bad sport about it.

[viktor considers pal in purple for a second- well, he is biased and thinks the man would be handsome in most colors but that's the gay talking. purple does seem a little much. maybe he can find one of those greyish purples? see how pal feels about that. baby steps.] None of the houses took purple? That's surprising, it's considered a royal color.

[ah well. pal gets a peck for being a good sport though.] Excellent, I look forward to the faces you'll make. Truly though, just for a little while. I'll need a break from all the socializing and light hearted competition.

[said like those are mildly gross things.]

Maybe someone was too sensitive to let any of the Houses claim purple, then. ["someone"

Mm, but alright; he does laugh at Viktor's insistence that he just does not ever enjoy himself with other people. Please, sir; Palamedes knows the truth.]

Whenever you want to sulk on the sidelines, just give me a signal; I'll be there in a matter of seconds.

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mehanizovati - 2022-06-15 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

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