video; un: xX_coolbonebabe_Xx

[lipochrome]

[ A familiar song starts up, and the video opens to reveal a lone young woman, dancing in an abandoned warehouse. The cots on the floor only add to the ambiance. ]

Hey, what’s up, Trench? [ The dancing continues. ] This is a callout post for John Gaius. You might know him? Shit sense of humor, black eyes, calls himself Teacher. He fucked over the ocean, recently. Hard to miss.



[ beep beep, beep boop, beep boop boop… ]

Well did you know that’s he’s, hm, super problematic? [ Shuffle shuffle. ] Yeah, we’re talking baby-killing, planet destroying bombs. He rolls with a crew of problematic bachelors, and they call themselves his Fists and Gestures.

[ time to put your hands in the air like you just don’t care ]

But I mean, whatever, right? We’ve all got friend drama. Well, turns out he had been bullshitting them for ten thousand years. See, he forced all these old fuckers to kill their best friends or lovers or whatever [ here she makes air quotes: ] “for the good of the empire,” but turns out they never really needed to. All those people died for nothing.

[ yeeahhh macarena ]

How do I know this? Well, a few thousand years later, he decided he needed a few more human sacrifices, and I was one of them! And he was a dick to my necromancer, Harrowhark. And, moreover, he is still down bad for the frosty entombed weirdo he calls his wife, and she isn’t even that hot!

[ like, come on!!! ]

Anyway, you guys know what month it is. You know what to do.

[ Gideon stops dancing, and grins. ]

Drag him.

Comments

Video | 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

[There is a shit eating grin on Johnny's face the second the feed opens up. He raises a bottle of beer up because he's proud of this girl.]

John "Black eyes" Gaius has shit taste in beer.

[And then. Suddenly deathly serious.]

And if he goes anywhere near my fucking students again I'll fucking kill him.

[hauntedsavior]

I'll be damned, J Law.
We keep finding things to agree on.

1/3

[cryptograms]

[ Well that's. Certain a lot of information to process, and any lingering complicated emotions Ford might have been feeling about the situation have now mostly dissipated. Still, it's a little-- ]

[cryptograms]

[ -- wait a minute. Ford backs up and watches the message again. ]

video; un: lady

[dohaeris]

[well, some of this sansa has learned, or inferred, from lazarus. she knew the emperor had done a lot of bad things, and obviously he has all sorts of cults. she's glad to get his name, for adaine. she doesn't know why gideon is dancing, but it doesn't matter. there is one thing that sort of surprises her.]

His wife is cold and dead?

[there really was a corpse queen? all along?]

Did she teach him his magic?

[she is momentarily too surprised to be angry about lazarus or any of it. the music doesn't help.]

video

[lipochrome]

[ Gideon lies on the ground, puts her omni on her forehead, and lets out the loudest, most wheezy death rattle. ]

Ugghghghhhh, why do people keep focusing on her?? Yeah, she's cold and dead. Opposite of hot.

I don't know who taught him necromancy. I think he invented it. But they both could be insufferable nerds, who knows!

Text | un: diggs

[justoscar]

He's not even original! The black-eyed creepy witch king thing is way over done. If he wants to strike fear, he needs to be more original!

1/10. Super Boring.

Text | un: diggs | private, to Gideon

[justoscar]

Seriously, though. You okay?

Video | Clickclickbloom

[onekindsoul]

He's super sus and his magic melted off my friends hand so when he rolled up to my slushie stand I gave him a yellow one. It was lemon flavor but the point is that it looked like pee.

Text | un: diggs

[justoscar]

give him another pee flavored
colored slushie. He deserves it.

1/2 cw: child swearing

[wapples]

[The video opens on this tiny round boy, trying his absolute best to copy Gideon's dance moves. It is... not the best, but it's fine. He liked the music enough that it doesn't matter, and he's not embarrassed at all.]

That guy messed with the ocean and pissed off Mariana? My dad's blind because of his bullshit!

Someone should, like, toilet paper his house, or put flaming poop bags on his doorstep.

2/2 cw: Kid with a knife

[wapples]

[Suddenly, he stops bopping back and forth to the beat no longer playing, and he produces a dagger from under his raccoon skin cloak.]

OR STAB HIM!

video; un: quibbler; cw: mentions of loss of bodily autonomy

[creidim]

[ Luna's looking pretty worn, shaken. She's not really looking so good at all. But then again, who would be when they've very recently had an episode of having their body controlled and been puppeteered, when they already have a harrowing experience with demonic possession? ]

I'm familiar with him. [ She isn't a fan, clearly. ] He certainly can't take a punishment when he rightfully should.

He'd rather weasel his way out of it by playing dirty.

[ Not so much a drag, but then again Luna doesn't really understand the concept of drag posts. ]

video

[lipochrome]

[ Oh, no. This girl has definitely been through the ringer, which is sad, because she seems awfully nice. The least the Emperor could do is go after people who kinda suck, you know? Not perfectly nice baking competition organizers. ]

Yeah, exactly.

[ Gideon leans in close, egging Luna on. ]

Come on. Give it to him. Tell us how you really feel.

un: thesun | text | anon account

[terriblepurpose]

c̴̲̀r̶̮̓ȯ̸͖w̴̛͖n̵͖̋ ̶̞͑ó̴̼f̵̹̽ ̵͚̊b̶̟͐o̴̦͗n̴̖̈́ẹ̵̓ ̸̜͘c̷̭̀r̴͔̋o̶̭͒w̴̘͌n̶̩͂ ̶͙͋o̵̡̐f̶͖̐ ̷̟͑a̵̦͝s̶̻̈́ḩ̸̾
̸̣͆
̴̫̋ā̷̟l̷̦͂ļ̷̅ ̶͙͝ṫ̶̰h̶̢̏a̸̮̐t̸̘̒ ̵͚̐y̶̠̑o̶̫̿u̵̗̿ ̵̦́h̷̠̀a̷̯͝v̶͚̆e̵͉͋ ̵̨̍ṱ̵̕ò̸̯u̶̫͊c̷̛̬h̷̗͝e̸̦̓d̴̪̅ ̵̺̓á̶͓ḻ̶́l̶̻̚ ̴͉͝ẗ̸̗́ḧ̸͔́a̶̺͠t̴̢͋ ̵̯́ÿ̵̬́ơ̶̭u̴͓͝ ̷̺͂h̴̞̊a̶͈͂v̵̡̂ē̵̠ ̷͖̅k̸̻̂n̸̙͝ō̶̠w̵͙͋n̵̤͘ ̷͓̀ä̸̧l̸̰̅l̷̨̑ ̴̯̇ ̸͚́t̵̬̕ḥ̴͆a̸̛̩t̵͙̆ ̶̟̂y̴̜͌o̸̝̽ų̴̿ ̵̤͐ĥ̴̹ã̵̙v̸̮͌e̶̖͝ ̴͕̅l̵̖̊o̴̙̊v̶̔ͅë̶͜ḋ̴̬ ̷̥̋r̷̖͋a̷̰̐i̵̝̋s̶̖̈ê̶̢d̵͙͌ ̶̞̚a̶̭̓s̶͔͆ ̵̲̽a̸̤͌ ̴̡̀w̸̮̄ë̸̹́ä̵̢́p̴͜͝ò̷͇n̴̨̐ ̷͓̀a̶̜͌g̵̝̒ḁ̸́ī̶̫ñ̵̞s̸̩͋t̵̜̾ ̵̭͛ỵ̶͝ǒ̵̳ụ̸̾ ̵̗̊
̸͓͝
̶̭̕a̸͈͊n̴͉̓ḓ̴̃ ̴̛̻d̴̜͒o̴͚͐ḛ̷̐s̵̪̀ ̷͔͝ĭ̷͙ẗ̶͇́ ̸̯̀b̶̘̋ṷ̴̈r̸̹̊n̶̮͛ ̷̖̀s̶̩̆t̷̪̃ḯ̸̜l̷̘̐l̶͍͋ ̸͉́d̶̰̄ó̷̲ ̸͍͊y̶̮͑ỏ̴͙ų̸̓ ̴̤̊b̴̜̾ū̸̠r̸͇͒n̸͕̕ ̵̱͆d̶̮͝o̵̦͛ ̴͔͐y̷̛̙ō̶͚u̶͚͠ ̴̡͘b̵̝͑ǔ̸̯r̴͍͛n̸̖͋
̷̗̍
̴̙̔m̷̫͊y̷͚̒ ̶͕̎g̷̨̏ǫ̴́d̵̝̎ ̶̗͂m̸̲̓ỷ̸̺ ̷̦̽g̵̐ͅỏ̵̼d̷̝̓ ̸͎͝t̶͎́h̴̘̎e̶̦̐ỳ̴̢ ̴̼̈́h̸̠̊a̶̦̾v̵̧̄e̷̥͛ ̶͓͆f̷̭̓o̷̬͝r̸̩͊š̸͈a̷̹͐k̸͈̈́e̷͓͝ń̴͔ ̷̞̄y̸͘ͅó̸̗u̴̠̿ ̶͍̎
̴̤͘
̵̹̃w̷̞̑h̶͕̀ā̶̦t̸̖̄ ̶̥͐c̴̨̐õ̷̜l̸̘͑o̴̘͊r̵̢̀ ̴͚̀w̷̢̎ä̷̤́ś̶̰ ̷̙̓t̸̡͌h̸͔̚e̸͓͒ ̸̘͝f̵̭̾i̴̹͠r̶̻͊e̸̳̎
̸̰̂
̶͙͌p̸̗̈́ǝ̵̯̌ʌ̸̹̌o̶͕͌ʅ̴̘̎ǝ̷͙̍q̸͚̆

text; 1/2

[lipochrome]

[ Who is this, and more importantly, what the fuck?? ]

haha yeah get his ass

text; un: tabris

[peripheries]

What should this make me feel?

text

[lipochrome]

well i personally am pissed off at him with tasteful shades of bummed out

but i dont think theres any should about it you know
feelings are feelings they kinda suck but thats how it goes

text; username: grollschwert

[hauntedsavior]

He did also kill me.
Not to belabor the point, but he did blow up my heart and lungs.
Does that excuse the other weird freak bitch shit I did? Absolutely not.
But he did destroy my organs from the inside without lifting a finger.

[private to gideon]

So when he called me Annabel.
In her tomb on the sounding sea.
He thought I was his dead wife?

text

[lipochrome]

yeah exactly thats what im talking about
that shit sucks
he cant even murder someone like a normal person

private

fuck if i know
hes so fucking weird about her
got no idea why
shes mid at best

video, un: AskMalice

[slayerskiss]

[None of this is like... surprising to her. Again, The Mayor wasn't this bad, but only because he never got his ritual off the ground. He still built Sunnydale as an endless hunting ground for monsters to stuff themselves full on the people he was supposed to protect, which was pretty fucking evil to begin with.

She's a bad Slayer, probably, because none of this makes her feel any more motivated to take him down. None of it convinces her that he's any worse than she is. Because if she were in his shoes and someone put this up, she knows she would make a violent and bloody show of punishing them for it, with a vicious grin she would revel in taking them apart.

(Maybe that's because she's a girl barely into her 20s with a whole host of emotional problems that make her a walking landmine of anger and jealousy, and not because she is simply more evil than the ones who can hold themselves back from reacting like a grenade without a pin. But she doesn't think of it that way.)

So, all in all, she doesn't know how to feel about this. It almost makes her feel... sad? For Gideon, for John. Even for that weird tiny skeleton girl Gideon's normally with, who's clearly got a lot of mixed loyalties surrounding all this. She wonders if the Mayor would feel betrayed if he saw her now. If he saw that she didn't die and follow him into hell like he wanted, or didn't keep Buffy's body and run off with it like he'd clearly intended. But from Gideon's perspective, the perspective of someone who had gone through an entire childhood unloved and unwanted - discarded for no reason at all, despite what she might think - maybe it's more similar to the way Faith thinks of her mom, or of her dad. The one who beat her and berated her and forced her to grow up too fast and the one that was never there at all.

Family's just an illusion, huh.

But she doesn't bring any of that up. Instead, she asks a simple question.]

Wasn't his wife a bee? [He called her babe, so...]

video; 1/2

[lipochrome]

[ Gideon just. Blinks. Faith's inner monologue is very emotionally raw, but that's not what's stopping Gideon in her tracks, of course.

Surely Faith doesn't mean - ]

video, un: Oracle

[adaine]

...His name is John? [Wild.]

Um, before I ask anything else, is it okay if I ask like, serious questions here? It seems like this is supposed to be more of a drag post than an actual expose, but... you know.

text; un: queenofwinter; private

[dohaeris]

[sorry that sansa is like this adaine......]

It would be very well if you could add him to the spell you made for Littlefinger.

He's killed people here, too.

[Video] username: justanadventurer

[aetherweaver]

[Sorry, he heard 'empire' and 'a few thousand years' and his brain has lit up like the Kill Bill siren.]

Wait... who is this? I'm sorry, I'm new and I probably shouldn't be sticking my nose into someone else's business, but... what is he?

[lipochrome]

My name's Gideon. The asshole I'm talking about is God, where I'm from. He used to be human, but now he's like, divine or whatever. Don't worship him, though, that shit all goes to his head.

un: UNOWEN, voice

[commediadellarte]

I am well aware of how much of a hypocrite I am being here, but... [Sayo's sigh through the connection is heavy enough to do weight training with,] can you all please stop killing him over all this? I'm aware all of you have some kind of personal vendetta with Sash- er, John, and I'll hardly say he doesn't deserve it, but frankly all these revenge schemes are dealing more damage to the people in their blast radius, and that's while he still has the mental wherewithal to defend himself in a restrained fashion.

I'd prefer for things not to escalate to skeleton armies anytime soon—July has been trying as it is—so would you all please fucking cool it with the death beams and whatnot before this idiot starts taking personal offense and "defending himself" proactively?

un: endless; voice

[manyone]

[ CACKLING. ]

Sayo nee-chan, I don't know if they're going to listen to you. They seem very, very angry~!

text

[asas]

John Gaius sucks at volleyball.

[lipochrome]

yeah exactly you tell him

uh
whats volleyball

[Video][UN: A_Wesker013][OTA]

[subject_013]

[Have a tall, blond guy in grey and black vaguely piratical gear, who looks like he never missed an arm day (or a leg day, neither), currently in what looks like an attic room, packing a saddle bag with several boxes of ammunition.]

John, you say? A flat-footed first name for an emperor, if you ask me. [Says the Graeco-Roman mythology geek.]

So. He managed to get Mariana's tentacles in a knot, did he? That would explain why I came back wearing the wrong face and the wrong body from the wrong pathway in the multi-verse and minus my after-market enhancements. I can't be the only one to suffer a similar fate thanks to his little tricks.

[lipochrome]

I mean, I don't know any other Johns. [ She shrugs. ] People keep getting weird about the name, for some reason.

[ Gideon winces sympathetically. ]

Yeah, I was in the wrong body for a while, too. It sucked. [ understatement of the myriad! ] Are you... better, now?

[Video] un: QueenCobra

[abornfighter]

So what I'm hearing is that he has the most punchable face in all of Trench right now.

[She doesn't really know Gideon beyond the fact that they're both Johnny Lawrence's students here. But Cobra Kai is Cobra Kai, and quite frankly fuck that guy.]

Video

[strikefirster]

[He is so proud of Tory right now.]

Damn right he does.

audio | un: first

[necrolord]

[ It's a while before John sees this, because he's busy getting stabbed in the soul by a kid swinging a magic fuck-you sword. So: it's already been a long day.

It quickly becomes a longer one.

He doesn't pace; he doesn't rage; smoke simmers at his heels but does not coalesce. He is silent and still as he reads. The skin flakes away from his bones; chitin glitters black around the dark sockets of his eyes; he raises a hand only once, to scrub at it like a rash.

It's one thing to hear her parrot the bomb, the shape of it clumsy and careless in her mouth. It's another to hear they died for nothing.

His response comes as a lone crackle of audio: ]

We're doing this, huh? We're making this happen.

[ Shortly after comes a post. ]

audio

[lipochrome]

[ bring it, pops. ]

I warned you, man. I told you, dog.

text - UN: IceCream

[threelayers]

I might have heard the name.
You know, in passing, but I'm trying to be "nice" about the whole thing.
Though the skeleton motif is kind of typical Evil Overlord.

Just saying.

[Mind you, she was typing this out while she was kind of busy dealing with her own shit, so she was only half thinking about it right now, but the name John was hitting hard.]

text

[lipochrome]

ok youre not wrong but sometimes the skeleton overlords arent so bad
like harrows a real softie when you get to know her

un: endless; audio

[manyone]

Oh, this is the most entertaining thing to happen since I've got here.

[ CACKLE. ]

audio

[lipochrome]

Uh? Okay? Your laugh is kinda weird, you know.

But thanks for liking the dance, I guess. It took some practice.

Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[This video turns up quite late in the month after everyone else has likely posted to it. But that's what happens when one is inconvienced by being corrupted into a spider monster and then taking revenge on the man responsible for it.]

The only good thing he's done so far is replace me as being the Sleeper people possibly hate the most. Otherwise, he can dish it out but he certainly isn't alright with taking it.

[lipochrome]

I mean, I would hope you're not worse than him. He sucks major shit.

[ Gideon raises an eyebrow. ]

So you've, like, fought him, then? I don't think I've ever heard him mention you.

not here;

[miyagimagic]

[ Oh.

Well.

Hm, there sure is a detail pretty much everyone neglected to tell him the specifics of. Had it been the guy from Daniel's first day here this entire time? The one who actually seemed reasonable?

Great people judgement as always, LaRusso. ]

not here;

[lipochrome]

[ F :( ]

video;

[bolstafir]

[Bullshitting them for ten thousand years hits a bit closer to home than he'd like, even if Ozpin's own lie of omission had only affected him personally for some twenty years, a blink of an eye to someone like that.

Still, though he wasn't wrong in his anger, Qrow understands better now what had motivated the man's actions ... and for all that he'd asked people to be his tin soldiers in an unwinnable war, he hadn't asked Qrow to kill Summer by his own hand. He certainly hadn't done it for the sake of an empire.]

Isn't that the guy who was melting hands? Sounds like someone who needs a "Fist" in the face, actually.

[lipochrome]

[ Qrow gets it. Gideon doesn't know what's going on in his head, but there's a force to his words that she recognizes. It's...soothing, maybe, in a weird, stupid way. Almost like she's not alone.

That is, until this guy says something completely bonkers: ]

He was doing what?

text | un: ilikemeat

[velvet_teen]

Oh, I'll tell him what I think of him!

And where he can shove his sacrifices! (it is up his butt)

cw: gross??

[lipochrome]

fuck yeah knew i could count on you
the butt is the best worst place to shove something
bet itll really hurt
just dont shove me personally obviously

video: un: vi

[faceblocks]

[drag him?]

Into what, a fucking volcano? Sign me the fuck up for that. I've got some fists and gestures for him.

[the dance is pretty great but she can't focus on that right now.]

[lipochrome]

What's a volcano?

[ they're doing so well. they are so smart. ]

Fuck yeah, dude.