necrolord: <user name="thebutt"> (drawing lines in the sand)
ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ ᴜɴᴅʏɪɴɢ ([personal profile] necrolord) wrote in [community profile] deernet2022-07-15 07:31 am

video; un: leavegodalone

Is this thing on?

[ The camera opens on a man, but there is something horribly inhuman about his eyes: they are black from edge to edge, the iris burning with a ring of white light. He is flanked by two skeletons which stand at attention, each with a speck of glowing red in their shadowed eye sockets. ]

Been a while since I had to do this. Hey, hello, kia ora. You face the King Undying, the Necrolord Prime.

[ He claps his hands together. There is something wrong with them: the whites of his metacarpals are exposed, flesh crumbled away like so much ash. ]

But let's not stand on formality, right? I hear we're on a first-name basis, now. So: I'm Emperor John Gaius, creator of the Nine Houses, and also God. Not locally, mind, [ and he gestures vaguely upwards, ] here it's a more crowded playing field. I'll admit, it's been an adjustment. I tried to get a peek at my usual domain... turns out Mariana doesn't like to share.

Now, I get that I've made a few mistakes. [ He says this like funny understatement, hands splayed. It shows the bare red tendons in his palms. ] Let's clear up some misconceptions.

[ He stands accused of baby-killing, human sacrifice, and the destruction of whole planets. He riled Mariana into a deadly storm. But what he says, with all the gravity of a king, is: ]

My wife is that hot.

[ Fantastic. Amazing start. He leans in to regard the camera. ]

Look, I get it: I haven't made myself popular. I'll get a lot of kids at my door screaming log off. We're on, what, bloody retribution attempt six or seven? It's been a constant parade of death lasers and witches and kids with swords. And I see where you're coming from. I put a serious damper on everyone's fun vengeance beach party.

But it's getting a little old, so consider this a friendly warning to all my executioners: I will start losing patience. [ He quirks a smile that does not touch his eyes. ] Not to be all, I have over ten billion confirmed kills, but: maybe do not fuck with me.

Cheers.

[ The skeletons perform an ancient First House salute, and the feed cuts out. ]
martyrofduty: (g1deon!face action time)

[personal profile] martyrofduty 2022-07-16 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
I appreciate strong devotion to your beliefs, but I'd like to see you hit 35.

As you wish.

He will be.


If it makes you feel any better, I will be stabbing him shortly.
justoscar: (marked -- confident)

[personal profile] justoscar 2022-07-16 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Well, it won't kill him.

Why not?

... Thanks for worrying, Pyrrha. I've got the impression that the guys who came before me didn't live long lives. Huntsmen don't live long lives, either.

Not many do unless they can keep their heads low and live their lives.

I'll be in touch. I think it's time I let my friend have the wheel again.
Edited 2022-07-16 01:05 (UTC)
martyrofduty: (Default)

[personal profile] martyrofduty 2022-07-16 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
I prefer not to burn through my influence on him. Only when it accomplishes something.

I likely wouldn't live a long life in your world, but— I've had a long life.

It's good to hear from you. You and your friend stay safe.
justoscar: (marked -- soft smile)

[personal profile] justoscar 2022-07-16 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Someone picked up my friend and all his friends from John's house, and they're all being taken care of.

They're fine. I'll be fine, somehow.

You take care of yourself, too. Reckoning isn't someone we should mess with.