deernet | [Video; un: Uravity]

[It took...a while for Ochako to find the courage to really start acting like herself again after all of what happened in July. Thankfully, she has some amazing friends, an absolutely wonderful boyfriend that she would do anything for, and is as resilient as she is stubborn. Moping about and feeling remorseful will get her nothing, she has to act if she wants things to get better, so this is exactly what she's doing today, despite how she's still very nervous and really, really ashamed still. The things she did and said, the people she hurt, the one she killed... That's going to weigh heavy on her for much longer than just a month. But the first step to growing and moving on is to address and confront it. To apologize.

So the video opens up with Ochako sitting in presumably her living room, which...anyone who knows her, or has been to her and Bakugou's home before, will notice is different. Different wall colors, different arrangement of furniture, just...overall different. But she makes no note of that. Instead, she just puts on a sheepish smile to the camera and bows lightly.]

Ehehe...hello, everyone. It's been a while since I posted to the network, ne? S-Some here in Trench might know me, but I bet a lot of others don't. My name is Uraraka--...um! O-Or Ochako, if you're from the Western hemisphere of Earth. [She rubs the back of her head, mussing up her hair a little. Anyone who knows her would know, again, this is a nervous tic Ochako has. She clears her throat and laughs awkwardly.] Last month was, eeh...p-pretty crazy, huh? I know I went, um...pretty crazy. Myself.

[Her smile falls, and so does her hand in her hair, settling into her lap as Ochako sighs. She then sets her omni down on the floor she's kneeling on, looking rather somber all of a sudden as she takes a deep breath in and out, as if preparing herself.]

It's true it wasn't really me, that it was all part of The Reckoning's...stuff, but. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, and I couldn't have tried harder to fight it. Neither does it make anything better, because it was still my body, my voice, that did and said all those things. So, I just...I--

I want to apologize. To everyone I hurt in some way. I am...deeply sorry, for everything.

[She gazes downward, and then bows as low as she can, a full dogeza. Ochako said nasty things, physically and emotionally hurt people she considers very friends. She even went and killed someone in cold blood at some point, among other things. She can still see the blood, hear the breaking of a neck, the splatter of a body on hard ground... Those thing's can't be erased, but she can at least admit they happened, and apologize for them. It's the first thing to do before she starts trying to make amends for it.

She rises, just for a moment, before bowing back down again.]

And to those that helped me overcome...thank you. Even if it was just for a moment, you really saved me. I'm grateful.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Trench and it's powers that be certainly do love to yank peoples' chain left and right. Most of the so-called horrors Ochako can deal with - she's trained for those types of scenarios, and been in a handful of dangerous situations already - but when it's her own body and mind that's overtaken, and she's the one doing the hurting and criminal-like activities, it's...much harder to combat that. Ochako would love to think she has a strong will, but that's just not the case sometimes. All she can do is try her best, then pick up the pieces afterward, and that's really, really difficult. It's why having people support her in that way is so important. Being independent is one thing, but accepting help when it's not asked for, but deeply needed...heh. That's pretty brave, too.]

I think I understand what you mean. I have a few people I know who were like that before - they didn't want to accept help from others, thought it was like some kind of disgrace. But you know what I think? I think it's really brave when you know when to accept help. Because no one can do it all on their own, that's just impossible. Even the greats get their start somewhere, and others help them along the way.

[The name catches Ochako off guard a little, but when the girl elaborates, Ochako actually smiles a little bit. Not huge, but the corners turn up just a bit.]

...Yeah, I know her. Not the version you know, not well enough yet, but she helped someone important to me during this, too. [She's pretty cool gets left unsaid, but Ochako definitely thought it.]

[ Nobody is strong all the time. After her first experience being corrupted, Jessica had hoped she'd gotten enough peace of mind, especially as things in her life started to settle down, that she might be able to resist any nefarious influence later. But it doesn't work that way, does it? Even if it's not truly her fault, she feels ashamed of herself, because she can't detach herself from those actions. ]

The thing is, normally I want to, right? I wanna trust the people I care about, I want to get through things together. But sometimes I feel... guilty, you know? There were so many things going on around me that were messed up, and I just ignored them because I didn't know how else to get on. People I loved who were being hurt, too. So I just get this feeling that I should take action. Be less passive, you know? Do things for myself. I want to be independent so I don't make it harder for people. It's a dumb feeling, I guess, but it's something that stupid that goes crazy once corruption or Pthumerians get involved.

[ She sighs, looking down at her hands. ]

But I just ended up making more trouble. Sorry. This isn't about me.

[ She looks back up at the Omni, and gives a weak smile. ]

Yeah, she's helped me a lot. Well, when I say "my Himiko," I also mean she's my girlfriend, but ahh... she's really done a lot for me. I'm a better person because of her.

Edited 2022-08-14 05:53 (UTC)

[These two are truly kindred spirits, because Ochako feels the same - it was still her body, even if she wasn't fully in control of it. They just now have to atone for the things they did over time, to make up for their actions.]

I don't think that's dumb at all... Everyone wants to be seen as capable. I'm...guilty of that myself, actually. [Because she compares herself to others too often, Ochako fails to see her own strength a lot of the time.] But you know, being strong, independent, and capable are wonderful things to strive for, and definitely something to commend!! But I think going too far is a bad thing...it's also a lot lonelier, I'll bet. And, even though I need to remind myself of this, your friends will never think less of you for needing to rely on them sometimes, you know? That's why they're your friends. They want to support you when you need them, and congratulate you on your achievements without them. It's why they're so wonderful to have.

[Ochako smile, remembering all of her dear friends. The ones here, and the ones still worlds apart from her. Gosh, but she misses all her girlfriends. Tsuyu, Momo, Hagakure and Jirou...all of them.]

Mm, don't apologize, it's fine. I really feel the same way a lot of the ti--...o-oh! [Ochako blushes a bit. Well, that's news. She was aware of Sayo, but not of anyone else. Is Toga like Deku in that she has more than one partner? She never got how that works, but never really questioned it much. So long as they're all happy and okay with it...] I'm really glad. And I bet it goes both ways, too. Ehehe, we tend to influence the people we're closest to without even really noticing it, ne?

Please take care of her, I think she really needs the support. [Since Ochako, and a lot of the others here...haven't given that to her. For good reason, but still. It must have hurt. Now's the time to change that, too.]

Yeah. It wasn't really even that much of a problem for me when... when that happened, you know? But it was still there. I think I understand some things a little better now. I used to think I was different from people who did bad things. But everybody has that possibility inside of them. And I think the way to fight it is to be aware of yourself.

[ She closes her eyes, gives a little shrug. If there was any good that came of it, it was that understanding. There are people she loves that did terrible things, things that she was eventually able to forgive them for, but still didn't understand as well as she does now.

But at Ochako's surprise, Jessica blushes too, laughing nervously. ]

A—Ahahaha, was that too personal? I'm kinda amazed that it turned out the way it did, but she's helped me a lot. So I'll definitely be sure to support her however I can.

[Thinking she was different from people who did bad things...haha, oh boy. That's hitting the mark a little too close for Ochako, and her entire society, and the falsehood it paraded for so long. Ochako has seen it now, after the veil was pulled back, the war showing the truth of what their "perfect" Hero Society really is...and how real Heroes can work to change and better it into the unknown future.

Heroes, Villains...neither one is any better or worse than the other, and those title are just that - titles. People, are, at their core...just human. And all humans are flawed. Toga...just what sort of things did she go through to have her change her path in one world, and walk steadfast into darkness in the other? Ochako can't help but be curious. It will change nothing for the girl she 'knows', but it can help others, maybe.]

Mm, it's fine. I guess I was just a little surprised, ehehe...I'm not really used to, the whole, um...multiple partners thing? I guess?? It's not common in my world, but it does sound lovely... [Sharing love like that, with more than one person, sounds almost like a dream. Something right out of one of her sappy, romance mangas or something.] I'm glad though, Toga helped someone I, um...c-care about a lot last month, so...I'm glad she's happy, and found someone to make make happy, too.

Ehehe, two someones, actually.

[Video; un: Uravity]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject