VIDEO 🎸 UN: METALHEAD69

[bardbarous]

[ The world around Tuck and Billie is dark, gloomy, and full of dust. The bar they are in, Colonel Dan's, has seen better days. Tables have been overturned, something's been in here making a mess despite the magic that was imbued into the door. Guess it didn't hold. ]

So, who wants to help Billie n' me clean out our bar? That we, ah, never used.

[ Tuck does his best to make it sound like the most riveting fucking thing a person could volunteer for. ]

We'll pay you in... uh...

[ He looks down at Billie who is currently out of camera view. Hard to put both a two foot child in the same frame with a seven foot man. ]

Friendship? Oh, booze!

Either, or. Whichever turns out to be of equal or lesser value.

[ From the dark, something falls off the bar counter and breaks. Then skittering claws scuttle across the floor. ]

There's someone else in here.

... ..... So, who wants to help Billie n' me chase a mystery creature out of our bar? Ehhh? Could be fun—Oh fuuuck! It touched my leg!

Comments

[eudaimonikos]

.......no. No, you - why you? Why did you even have it? Where'd it come from?

[bardbarous]

I don't know! Where does anything come from? Where'd your bowtie come from? It's like that old saying, "Don't look a gift bar in the mouth."

[eudaimonikos]

...o...kay.

[Well. It's not any worse than talking to Jason.]

Have you seen the thing in there again?

[bardbarous]

No, but Billie's on the case!

[ Tuck leans back from the device in his hand to shout, "Go get it, son!" ]

He'll be fine! So you're coming over with a broom?

[ Right? Right? ]

[eudaimonikos]

...don't you have one there?

[like not to be rude or anything but the last time Michael went to help your family with an issue things kinda broke super bad]

[bardbarous]

Um, yeah... [ His eyes drift up to the ceiling where their broom is currently stuck in the cobwebs above. ] But you should still bring one.

[eudaimonikos]

[..........]

Fine. Where even are you?

[bardbarous]

Colonel Dan's! It's, ah, down in Cellar Door, pretty close to Gaze. There's a taxidermy alligator out front.

You have to kiss it to get the door open.

[ He is completely seriou. ]

[eudaimonikos]

Ugh, gross.

[But he'll........be along, he guesses.]

[bardbarous]

Geraldine is a lady and a saint! You will kiss her gently!!

[eudaimonikos]

Kissing is a disgusting misuse of your orifices! It's for eating, you shouldn't just touch everything with it!

[bardbarous]

Or what? What's gonna happen, huh?

[ Tuck is NOT IMPRESSED, SIR! He licks a lot of things and he's still ok. ]

[eudaimonikos]

Or you get weird mouth diseases!

[bardbarous]

Who do you know that has ever had a weird mouth disease? Who hurt you, Michael?!

[ He's heard stories, sure. Cultural greetings have been decimated where he was born because of a very terrifying parasite that will eat your tongue and replace it. Has he ever seen one before? No. Maybe it was never a thing, who knows. But he knows he's never encountered someone he hasn't wanted to or shouldn't kiss. ]

[eudaimonikos]

I've met humans who've died of all sorts of things. Used to be, you get one weird infection and -

[He makes a sort of whistling noise and draws a finger across his throat - you know the gesture.]

[bardbarous]

Holy shit, like what?! What are these people doing to their mouths?

[eudaimonikos]

Humans are gross. Especially with their mouths. So many...non-eating activities.

[bardbarous]

... Michael, who hurt you?