VIDEO 🎸 UN: METALHEAD69

[bardbarous]

[ The world around Tuck and Billie is dark, gloomy, and full of dust. The bar they are in, Colonel Dan's, has seen better days. Tables have been overturned, something's been in here making a mess despite the magic that was imbued into the door. Guess it didn't hold. ]

So, who wants to help Billie n' me clean out our bar? That we, ah, never used.

[ Tuck does his best to make it sound like the most riveting fucking thing a person could volunteer for. ]

We'll pay you in... uh...

[ He looks down at Billie who is currently out of camera view. Hard to put both a two foot child in the same frame with a seven foot man. ]

Friendship? Oh, booze!

Either, or. Whichever turns out to be of equal or lesser value.

[ From the dark, something falls off the bar counter and breaks. Then skittering claws scuttle across the floor. ]

There's someone else in here.

... ..... So, who wants to help Billie n' me chase a mystery creature out of our bar? Ehhh? Could be fun—Oh fuuuck! It touched my leg!

Comments

[jedies]

[ obi-wan rolls his eyes. ]

It certainly is.

[spiritwalks]

You wouldn't understand. You're not a fungi.

[jedies]

And I'm very grateful, every day.

[bardbarous]

Haaa! Obi, move your head and turn the camera to Vyng so I can high five him!

[ Tuck is already holding up his hand to his device for a virtual high five for those dank puns. ]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan shifts so that tuck can see vyng clearly. ]

[spiritwalks]

See? This guy gets it.

[He gives Obi-Wan's Omni an exaggerated high-five of his own.]

Boom.

[bardbarous]

Nice.

[ Palms successfully pressed. ]

[spiritwalks]

["Nice!" says the raven — Vyng's seeing eyebird for the day — perched next to him. "Wah-ha-ha-ha! Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"]

Wow, he's been hanging around you a lot. That laughter is almost uncanny.

[bardbarous]

[ That's his laugh! ]

Hey, fuck you, bird! [ He points to the feathery asshole on the screen with narrowed eyes. ] I'm, I'm the only one that gets to laugh like that!

[ Then the bird proceeds to speak, "Wah-ha-ha-ha! Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" ]

Stop making fun of me!!

[spiritwalks]

Being a dick is just in some birds' nature, buddy. Nothing personal.

["Fuck you!" cackles the bird with Tuck's earlier intonation.]

Kind of flattering, when you think about it.

[bardbarous]

[ Tuck doesn't think so. His brown eyes narrow as he considers his next step. He can outwit a bird! ]

Yeah? Well repeat this! I'm a feathery fuckface and I pee and poop out of the same hoo~le!

[spiritwalks]

["You. Fuck! Face. Wa-ha-ha-ha!"]

You know what? I'll bet if you say it enough times, they'll say it back.

[bardbarous]

But seriously, it's a mess. Bring your forceful magic. I mean really make it aggressive.

[jedies]

I'm not really the aggressive type.

im so sorry

[bardbarous]

Wait, I thought you used force!

[ How the fuck can you not be aggressive and still use force?! ]

[jedies]

Despite the . . . name, that's not how the Force works.

[bardbarous]

[ Tuck's mouth opens up slightly, ready to form words, but nothing quite makes it out. ]

Fine. But you're still going to help clean, right? With something called force, but is not, in fact, literal strength exerted with intensity.

Is that what I'm hearing?

[jedies]

Yes. I suppose it is.

[bardbarous]

'kay, you'll be on dust duty—or... bait?

[ His eyebrows go aaalll the way up his forehead at the new idea. Ehh, Obi? Wanna be bait?? ]

drive-by

[spiritwalks]

[From off camera:]

It's passive-aggression.

[jedies]

Are you sure he's not just clueless.

[spiritwalks]

No, he knows what spirit stuff is. He communes with the stones in his axe.

[bardbarous]

[ Totally making jerk off motions behind you two. ]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan blithely ignores this. ]

What would bait entail?

[bardbarous]

We'll put you by the box and stick!