Tachome Dhaume (
bardbarous) wrote in
deernet2022-09-21 04:30 pm
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VIDEO 🎸 UN: METALHEAD69
[ The world around Tuck and Billie is dark, gloomy, and full of dust. The bar they are in, Colonel Dan's, has seen better days. Tables have been overturned, something's been in here making a mess despite the magic that was imbued into the door. Guess it didn't hold. ]
So, who wants to help Billie n' me clean out our bar? That we, ah, never used.
[ Tuck does his best to make it sound like the most riveting fucking thing a person could volunteer for. ]
We'll pay you in... uh...
[ He looks down at Billie who is currently out of camera view. Hard to put both a two foot child in the same frame with a seven foot man. ]
Friendship? Oh, booze!
Either, or. Whichever turns out to be of equal or lesser value.
[ From the dark, something falls off the bar counter and breaks. Then skittering claws scuttle across the floor. ]
There's someone else in here.
... ..... So, who wants to help Billie n' me chase a mystery creature out of our bar? Ehhh? Could be fun—Oh fuuuck! It touched my leg!
So, who wants to help Billie n' me clean out our bar? That we, ah, never used.
[ Tuck does his best to make it sound like the most riveting fucking thing a person could volunteer for. ]
We'll pay you in... uh...
[ He looks down at Billie who is currently out of camera view. Hard to put both a two foot child in the same frame with a seven foot man. ]
Friendship? Oh, booze!
Either, or. Whichever turns out to be of equal or lesser value.
[ From the dark, something falls off the bar counter and breaks. Then skittering claws scuttle across the floor. ]
There's someone else in here.
... ..... So, who wants to help Billie n' me chase a mystery creature out of our bar? Ehhh? Could be fun—Oh fuuuck! It touched my leg!
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It certainly is.
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[ Tuck is already holding up his hand to his device for a virtual high five for those dank puns. ]
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[He gives Obi-Wan's Omni an exaggerated high-five of his own.]
Boom.
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[ Palms successfully pressed. ]
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Wow, he's been hanging around you a lot. That laughter is almost uncanny.
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Hey, fuck you, bird! [ He points to the feathery asshole on the screen with narrowed eyes. ] I'm, I'm the only one that gets to laugh like that!
[ Then the bird proceeds to speak, "Wah-ha-ha-ha! Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" ]
Stop making fun of me!!
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["Fuck you!" cackles the bird with Tuck's earlier intonation.]
Kind of flattering, when you think about it.
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Yeah? Well repeat this! I'm a feathery fuckface and I pee and poop out of the same hoo~le!
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You know what? I'll bet if you say it enough times, they'll say it back.
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im so sorry
[ How the fuck can you not be aggressive and still use force?! ]
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Fine. But you're still going to help clean, right? With something called force, but is not, in fact, literal strength exerted with intensity.
Is that what I'm hearing?
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[ His eyebrows go aaalll the way up his forehead at the new idea. Ehh, Obi? Wanna be bait?? ]
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It's passive-aggression.
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What would bait entail?
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