Entry tags:
- alice baskerville (black): holly,
- ange ushiromiya: jelle,
- darth maul: shade,
- izuku "deku" midoriya: tea,
- jin guangyao: ray,
- jinx: bekka,
- johnny lawrence: josh,
- keith: sailor g,
- lance: charley,
- luna lovegood: cheryl,
- michael: lu,
- peter graham: jhey,
- sharon da silva: lunare,
- tenya iida: ashley,
- tory nichols: lex,
- uchiha sasuke: simcha,
- vi: aeri
video | un: sharpshooter (forward-dated a few days) [CW: NSFW?]
[The video opens to Lance with cat ears (again), a tail swishes behind him. There's the sound of painful squelching as Keith off screen goes through some more gruesome transforming and he winces, looking over at him. It seems to have been mild this time at least, and Lance goes for the rambling jokes because that's how you deal with someone you care about going through that, right?]
Okay, soooo who here's never done the horizontal tango? Made the beast with two backs, knocked some boots, jumped some bones- [there is the sound of shifting of bone and he hums, rethinking] Forget that last one, but by now if you don't know what I mean, here's a few more for you: a little afternoon delight-
[Keith groaned a bit, his teeth audibly clenched as he scolded a, "LANCE!" from the background, though that didn't seem to deter the Blue Paladin from continuing.]
-pounded the punani pavement, shook the sheets, the old in-out, shot the meat rocket into the sausage hole, bam-bam in the ham, rolled in the hay, boppin' squiddles, cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Fucking hell, made whoopee!
Seriously, I could keep going, but if your answer is 'never done that, what are you even talking about', some guy in Gaze told me your blood cures this whole- [he gestures at himself and then glances off camera at the sound of a grunt from Keith.] mess. Noooot that I wanna cure myself, I can take it, but some people I know need it and aren't gonna ask because their heads are nothing but dumb hair and no brains.
[A bit of an unhinged laugh to himself/some internal conversation as he looks down and to the side. There's a growl from the background, possibly from Keith? (Definitely from Keith.) Then he jerks himself back.] Yeah, anyway, if you fit the bill call me before my idiot b-teammate turns into something that eats my face. I'm too pretty for that.
[There may have been a time when Lance knew virgin blood was blood that hadn't been used in a ritual, but the draugr's fucked with his already recently fucked memory. So enjoy.]
Okay, soooo who here's never done the horizontal tango? Made the beast with two backs, knocked some boots, jumped some bones- [there is the sound of shifting of bone and he hums, rethinking] Forget that last one, but by now if you don't know what I mean, here's a few more for you: a little afternoon delight-
[Keith groaned a bit, his teeth audibly clenched as he scolded a, "LANCE!" from the background, though that didn't seem to deter the Blue Paladin from continuing.]
-pounded the punani pavement, shook the sheets, the old in-out, shot the meat rocket into the sausage hole, bam-bam in the ham, rolled in the hay, boppin' squiddles, cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Fucking hell, made whoopee!
Seriously, I could keep going, but if your answer is 'never done that, what are you even talking about', some guy in Gaze told me your blood cures this whole- [he gestures at himself and then glances off camera at the sound of a grunt from Keith.] mess. Noooot that I wanna cure myself, I can take it, but some people I know need it and aren't gonna ask because their heads are nothing but dumb hair and no brains.
[A bit of an unhinged laugh to himself/some internal conversation as he looks down and to the side. There's a growl from the background, possibly from Keith? (Definitely from Keith.) Then he jerks himself back.] Yeah, anyway, if you fit the bill call me before my idiot b-teammate turns into something that eats my face. I'm too pretty for that.
[There may have been a time when Lance knew virgin blood was blood that hadn't been used in a ritual, but the draugr's fucked with his already recently fucked memory. So enjoy.]
no subject
[He does notice the change of tone on this one.]
Yeah well, Robby's a good kid. I can't argue with that.
[Look- He's... Never really got the chance to just talk like he's actually proud of his son without other things getting in the way.
He really doesn't deserve it but he's trying not to screw that up.]
no subject
[He raises an eyebrow. Like, he is pretty certain he gives off all the right vibes of a man who's had sex a number of times! Then he tilts his head at that reaction to Robby, his expression softening slightly.]
…You're proud of him, huh.
no subject
[Johnny is way off here.]
Yeah. Of course, I am. He's actually got his shit together. More than I can say on any given day.
no subject
Dude, if I was a virgin I woulda helped Keith already and not even bothered with this. I'm looking for virgin blood, not to get laid.
[He is so off.]
Well, at least you own it. You must've done something kinda right, though.
no subject
Well- shit.
I can't help you there, bud. As you know I've got a kid, so that makes me a no go.
[He gives a bit of a shrug. He's not particularly proud of this.]
Nah... He did that shit all on his own. Trust me.
no subject
Well, also turns out I might be kinda wrong about what virgin blood means.
[He runs a hand down his face. Then sighs, moving on.]
What, like he raised himself?
CW: Deadbeat dad themes
What are they going on about instead?
[He pauses briefly and looks away from the camera. He's a bit more careful with his words and nervous when he spoke.]
Nah. His mom was there. I was doing other shit.
Re: CW: Deadbeat dad themes + teen endangerment and trauma
[He rolls his eyes and sighs. Then he frowns a little pensively.]
Well… it's good you're here now. Wish I'd had my Dad around more growing up… but especially when I first ended up in Deerington. This place isn't… great for growing up in. Well, I was eighteen when I got there, but before that I was fighting a war for a while and I just haven't seen my family for a super long time. [He shakes his head to try and clear it.] Anyway, point is it doesn't matter what mistakes you made before… he'll need you here.