text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST

[klawful]

THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.

DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.

NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.

IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.

*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*

Comments

[vibing]

already have tentacles?
thats awesome

nah not me. just as squiddy as everyone else
you find them though you tell me

im not going to ask what youre so pissed about but good luck man

cw alien genitalia

[klawful]

TENTACLE. SINGULAR. BUT THAT IS COMPLETELY PRIVATE ALTHOUGH AN IMPORTANT FACET OF ALTERNIAN ANATOMY WORTH REMEMBERING ANYWAY FOR THE SAKE OF CIVILIZED POLITE CONVERSATION. CONSIDER THIS A MOMENT OF SOCIAL ENLIGHTENMENT. YOU ARE WELCOME.

I WILL DRAG THEIR NAMES THROUGH THE STREETS I ASSURE YOU. YOU WILL KNOW. EVERYONE WILL KNOW. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A GOOD OLD PUBLIC SHAMING TO COMPLETELY EVISCERATE SOMEONE.

WELL SINCE YOU ARE SO CURIOUS IT IS ABOUT THE BLOOD. (Karkat, he LITERALLY just said he wasn't going to ask-)

NOT THAT I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECIFICS OF MY *OWN* BLOOD. BUT BLOOD WHERE I COME FROM IS VERY SIGNIFICANT. TO CHANGE SOMEONE'S BLOOD IS TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. WE HAVE A BLOOD CASTE SYSTEM, SEE, AND OUR BLOOD COLOR DEFINES EVERYTHING IN OUR WORTHLESS, PATHETIC LIVES. IT IS A VERY COMPLEX SOCIAL AND BIOLOGICAL MATTER AND TO HAVE THIS PLACE SO CASUALLY TURN IT ON ITS HEAD IS OUTRAGEOUS, TERRIFYING, EXHILARATING, AND ALSO OFFENSIVE.

THANK YOU FOR THE LUCK BUT I DO NOT NEED IT. YOU DO NOT NEED LUCK WHEN YOU HAVE BLUNT RAGE AND DEDICATION.

[vibing]

thanks






so you have a tentacle dick
nice

[ okay he just wanted to write it out, sue him.

he isn't polite company, sorry, karkat, if talking about your dick with a stranger isn't what you wanted to do today

but also.... he hates that. he hates all of that. but he doesn't have to take that out on this stranger ]

okay let me guess it made your blood less valuable and youre pissed about it
so whats the good blood
which one do you want
mines blue
fucking sucks
cold all the time

pretty sure you want to take it out on the tumerians

[ he tried to spell it at least ]

cw:...nsfw lmao

[klawful]

PLEASE DO NOT COMPARE MY BULGE TO YOUR WORTHLESS HUMAN MEAT STICK. OUR GENITALIA IS SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY AND IS IN NO WAY SIMILAR TO A "DICK" BEYOND THE CONCEPT THAT IT IS LONG AND CAN BE USED TO PENETRATE THINGS. BUT MANY THINGS CAN BE USED TO PENETRATE THINGS. SUCH AS KNIVES. AND I MEAN THAT IN A NON SEXUAL WAY, THOUGH I DO SUSPECT SOME MAY FIND ENJOYMENT FROM USING KNIVES IN A SEXUAL WAY TOO. I WOULD KNOW NOTHING OF THAT.

(If Karkat was still six, he might have been humiliated by this conversation. As it were, he was only mildly humiliated by it, but his integrity was on the line and really, he has spent more hours conversing about the intricacies of human genitalia vs troll genitalia than he would ever actually admit.

This might as well just be another day on the calendar for him.)

YOU ARE A FRESH FUCKING HEAP OF STUPID IF THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE. OR CULTURALLY IGNORANT. I BELIEVE IT IS PROBABLY THE LATTER, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOUR COMMENT ANY LESS DUMB, SO CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GET AWARDED TOWN DIPSHIT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO THANK ANYONE IN PARTICULAR?

IN MY OPINION, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "GOOD" OR "BAD" BLOOD. OBVIOUSLY, THAT OPINION IS NOT SHARED IN MY WORLD, BUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BLOOD MAKE YOU WEAKER OR STRONGER AND GIVE YOU DIFFERENT ABILITIES AND SOCIAL PRESENCE.

YOUR BLUE BLOOD WOULD PUT YOU RELATIVELY HIGH IN OUR PECKING ORDER. AND YES, IT DOES TEND TO MAKE YOUR SORT RUN COLDER. INVEST IN SWEATERS OR DIE, I GUESS.

I DID NOT EVER WANT TO CHANGE MY BLOOD. THOUGH I HATED IT, I HAD COME TO ACCEPT THAT IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF I COULD NOT CHANGE AND SHOULD NOT CHANGE.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

(He asks it aggressively, but he means it genuinely. What the hell is that????)

[vibing]

dicks are pretty weird

[ yuri's mostly amused by this, and can't bring himself to write quite as much back. he honestly thinks it might piss this guy off more if he doesn't say much back which is... pretty funny ]

thank you
id like to thank my fellow dipshits
we are few but we are mighty

cool

tumerians
those guys with the statues and stuff
people are saying they brought us here or something
probably the people you want to take this up with

[klawful]

WEIRD AND EXTREMELY VULNERABLE. I COULD OBLITERATE A HUMAN MALE SUCCESSFULLY BY KICKING HIM IN HIS NUTSACK AND I THINK THAT IS VERY SAD AND PATHETIC.

AND FUCKING HILARIOUS.

THE INCOMPETENCY OF HUMAN ANATOMY WILL NEVER FAIL TO AMUSE ME.

YOUR FELLOW DIPSHITS ARE TOO BUSY BEING BRAINDEAD FUCKOS TRYING TO EAT ROCKS. THEY CANNOT HEAR YOU. NOW I AM IMAGINING YOU WEEPING ALONE IN A ROOM WHILE YOU REALIZE YOUR STUPIDITY LEAVES YOU TRULY ALONE IN THIS WORLD.



OH. THOSE ASSHOLES. I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS JUST HUMAN FETISHISM IN ACTION. THOUGH NOW THAT I AM REALLY THINKING ABOUT IT THE GOD ANGLE MAKES MORE SENSE. I CANNOT BELIEVE NO ONE HAS EVER BUILT STATUES OUT OF ME. I AM A GOD, YOU KNOW. WHAT THE FUCK. WHO DO I HAVE TO BEAT AROUND HERE TO GET THAT TO HAPPEN? (Karkat, focus.)

THAT IS PROBABLY TRUE. WE ALL USUALLY EXIST BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S IRRESPONSIBLE FUCKERY. IF THEY ARE ANYTHING LIKE WE WERE ABOUT THE WORLD WE MADE, THEY ARE PROBABLY SITTING AROUND WATCHING US ALL BE DUMBASSES AND LAUGHING AMONG THEMSELVES ABOUT HOW STUPID WE ARE.