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THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.

DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.

NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.

IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.

*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Glob. He's embarrassed right now. Part of him is very slightly relieved about two things. One, he's not alone in this blood obsessed world full of cuttlefish wearing bipedal forms. Globbing hell, that would have been a nightmare. Two? It wasn't Eridan fucking Ampora or Gamzee fucking Makara. If he had to be stuck here with any one troll, those two would have been the very definition of hell on earth.

But still, Karkat. Seriously?]

D --> Karkat
D --> The last thing I want to l00k at on swimming out of the ocean like a sea-dwelling bastard is your obsession on display for all to observe
D --> Do you realize the impression you are e%pecting these aliens to be subjected to?

D --> We can at least agree that this violation is unacceptably salacious and inappropriate

(...Holy shit it has been a hot second since he's seen this atrocious fucking quirk. The last time he saw this was in some of his more humiliating memos.

He winds up actually pinching himself just to make sure he wasn't buried in some recess of unimaginable horrorterror dreamscape.)

Edited (icons) 2021-10-06 01:08 (UTC)

(Nope. He was definitely awake. That was definitely Equius.)

carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked CentaursTesticle [CT]

D --> Oh l00k
D --> How positively predictable

SYSTEM MESSAGE: We're sorry, but the user does not wish to receive messages from you.

[Wait for it... 3... 2...]

(Just as predictably, Karkat can't physically resist the urge to Talk At Equius, so only five minutes pass before the block is lifted:)

SO WHICH DOOMED TIMELINE ARE YOU FROM? I AM MAKING GENERALIZED ASSUMPTIONS HERE BUT FROM THE MANY VARIATIONS OF YOU I HAVE PERSONALLY WITNESSED I FEEL LIKE THIS GENERALIZATION IS SUPPORTED BY A STRONG THEORY.

YOU ARE QUANTIFIABLY FUCKED. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU CONTINUE TO BE FUCKED.

(Karkat, can you really talk right now?)

[Give him a second. Doomed timelines required remembering conversations with Aradia and the few times he and Sollux actually chatted. The lowblood and he didn't get along very well, after all. Mutter mutter. Ah, right. This had to do with the corpse parties didn't it? And the whole Dream Bubble thing.]

D --> It would beh00ve you not to make t00 many classic assumptions Vantas
D --> But to satiate your e%ceptionally unnecessary curiosity
D --> The Highbl00d embraced his nature as Bard of Rage and the Prince d00med our race in a whiny fit before being bisected by the Jade bl00d
D --> This was what was related to me by others after my e%piration at least

D --> That was at almost a sweep ago so you will have to e%cuse me if I don't remember details related by others

[So... uh... it was technically a doomed timeline when he died, but then John happened, and his was the Alpha timeline.]

so youre mad about the squid thing
cool

If this is about the transformation we all went through, your feelings are perfectly understandable, although perhaps something like a journal would be a better venue? I've often found that when I need to better understand my own thoughts, a less-public outlet is helpful.

It was a strange thing to adjust to, all the same. You have my sympathy.

WHAT.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE MAD ABOUT THE SQUID THING?
THAT IS ARGUABLY THE LEAST OFFENSIVE PART ABOUT THIS SITUATION.

what other biological warfares going on
i find squids real offensive

SOCIAL MEDIA WAS INVENTED FOR PEOPLE TO SCREAM INTO. IT IS NOWHERE NEARLY AS CATHARTIC TO SCREAM AT YOURSELF. TRUST ME I HAVE DONE IT ENOUGH TIMES AT THIS POINT TO REALIZE THAT VENTING ONLINE TO STRANGERS IS THE FAR HEALTHIER OPTION OF THE TWO.

IF MY FEELINGS ARE SO FAMILIAR THEN IT IS GOOD TO LET OTHERS KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT ISOLATED IN THEIR OWN FEELINGS OF DISPLACEMENT.

IT IS INCREDIBLY INVASIVE AND OFFENSIVE AND OVERLY PERSONAL. IT IS LIKE THE ULTIMATE WET DREAM OF SOCIAL INJUSTICE. IT IS NOT AN ADJUSTMENT IT IS A COMPLETE 180 ON MY SOCIAL SPHERE. THERE IS NOTHING TO ADJUST TO. I WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE SEVERAL HOURS LONG WORTH OF MENTAL BREAKDOWNS OVER THIS SITUATION.

[ Well at least this person is... honest...? An almost refreshing level of emotional honesty, or it would be if it weren't so.

Angry? ]

How interesting. I admit that where I come from, nothing of the sort exists, so the purpose of this technology wasn't known to me. Was it really invented for that reason?

TENTACLES ARE A VERY NATURAL PART OF MY BIOLOGY, NOT THAT IT'S ANY PART OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I WILL ADMIT IT WAS BORDERLINE MORTIFYING HAVING THAT EXPOSED BUT IN THE LARGER PICTURE, IT WAS AT LEAST NOT A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF MY LIFE.

THE BIOLOGICAL DOES NOT CONCERN YOU, WORM. NOT UNLESS YOU ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES. IN WHICH CASE, IF YOU ARE, THEN GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS.

I JUST WANT TO HAVE A COMMUNICATION.

That being said, a mental breakdown doesn't sound particularly helpful, so if you need any assistance or a listening ear—

I've been told that helps, as well. It certainly helped me after everything that's happened recently.

SWEET TROLL JEGUS.
BEFORE WE DELVE INTO THIS HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIP I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW INSUFFERABLE I FIND YOU TO BE. I COULD HAVE LIVED A HUNDRED MORE SWEEPS HAPPILY WITHOUT EVER HAVING TO TOLERATE YOUR OUTSTANDINGLY GAPING NOOK OF A PERSONALITY.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY.

I SEE. THAT'S FAR BACK FOR ME TOO. I AM NOW 9 SWEEPS WHICH MAKES ME SIGNIFICANTLY SUPERIOR TO YOU IN LITERALLY EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. INCLUDING THE TIMELINE I AM FROM. WE ARE SUCCESSFUL IN OURS. AS SUCCESSFUL AS ONE CAN BE AFTER RIDDLING A UNIVERSE WITH CANCER, I GUESS.

THE INTERNET HAS ALLOWED FOR THE UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY IN WHICH THOSE OF ALL RACES AND CLASSES CAN FIND A COMMON GROUND AND CLOSE BRIDGES. IT IS THE ULTIMATE UNIFIER FOR THOSE WHO SEEK RELATIONSHIPS THEY MIGHT HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO OBTAIN IN THEIR REGULAR, SHITTY, PATHETIC LIVES. THE INTERNET DESTROYS LINGUISTIC BARRIERS AND SOCIAL DEMANDS BY ALLOWING PEOPLE TO BE THE MOST HONEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES.

EVEN THOUGH MOST OF US DEEPLY REGRET IT AFTER THE FACT, BUT IT IS NOT THE REGRET THAT MATTERS, BUT THE JOURNEY TO CRIPPLING REGRET THAT DEFINES US.

ALSO, THE MEMES ARE, AS MY ONE FRIEND WOULD SAY, "FUCKING SICK."

WITHOUT THE INTERNET WE WOULD NEVER HAVE MASTERPIECES SUCH AS THIS. I WATCHED THIS VIDEO FOR 10 HOURS STRAIGHT ONCE, IF YOU COULD BELIEVE IT. WHICH YOU SHOULD. IT IS AN INCREDIBLE VIDEO.

WHY DO EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS HAVE TO BE HELPFUL? MY EMOTIONS DO NOT EXIST TO BE HELPFUL. THEY EXIST TO BE A NUISANCE TO EVERYONE BUT MOST OF ALL ME.

THAT IS SUSPICIOUSLY KIND OF YOU. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?

[Man, this was so familiar. Fidget, fidget. Dab dab. Karkat was definitely, probably, almost certainly not flirting as he described him in such negative tones. Nope, he knew better, even if the idea was so painfully salacious he had to.

Dab dab. thankfully he had a towel.]

D --> I should chastise you for your impertinence Vantas
D --> But in what sense is this e%coriation e%ceptionally different from your usual f00lish speech

D --> Now that the traditional pleasantries are out of the way

D --> Our personal timelines are separated in that case
D --> The strife had concluded after a sweep of battle against the forces of Surt
D --> Which means that if your memories are solely of one divertive investiture then it t00k you 3 sweeps to finish the job
D --> Dare I inquire how you accomplished what you were convinced was impossible
D --> Serket indicated that the timeline had achieved catastrophic f00lishness

JUST TRY IT, ZAHHAK, AND I WILL BREAK YOUR OTHER HORN OFF. THERE IS NOTHING FOOLISH ABOUT MY SPEECH EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE YOU DECIDE TO RESPOND TO IT. BUT IN THAT CASE, IT IS *YOUR* SPEECH THAT IS FOOLISH, NOT MINE, SO HA, FUCK YOU.

AS MUCH AS I WANT TO TAKE A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH YOU (WHICH I DO *NOT* WANT TO DO - NOTHING SOUNDS WORSE THAN TAKING A TRIP WITH YOU ANYWHERE) I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO REHASH THE ABSOLUTE CLUSTERFUCK OF THAT STORY WITH YOU. IT WOULD TAKE SEVERAL HOURS, MAYBE EVEN DAYS, TO DO IT ANY JUSTICE. THERE ARE MANY FOLDS TO THIS FABRIC AND I'M NOT A FUCKING SEAMSTRESS SO THEY ARE GOING TO STAY WRINKLED.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, IS WHERE IN OUR TIMELINES OPENED UP TO WHEREVER THE FUCK WE ARE NOW? CLEARLY, WE HAVE BOTH DIVERGED ONTO SOME SORT OF LINEAR TIMELINE AND WOUND UP IN THE SAME PLACE. BOTH FROM FUTURE VARIATIONS OF OUR OWN TIMELINES AND DISTANCED FROM THE GAME. I HAVE SEEN NO ONE ELSE BUT YOUR MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR AN EXISTENCE. THOUGH THE BEACH WAS SLIGHTLY EMBARASSING TO BEHOLD.

(So many tentacles.)

D --> Ah yes the f00lish part is assuming I can get this information from you
D --> You do generate such a vomitous mass of mandible flapping that it might take us until another apocalypse
D --> Forget I inquired on the subject
D --> I will acquire the necessary information through other methodologies

D --> I confess I am shocked that you have not figured it out
D --> It t00k you no time to e%pound on timelines
D --> Why have you not considered the STRONG possibility of alternate realities
D --> This is the third game I have participated in at this point
D --> You have no idea how tiring it is to have this e%ceptionally predictable conversational format again and again
D --> Every time I l00k and find you engaging your chitinous windhole about your usual obsessions

D --> This is where you feign e%cruciating levels of disbelief and accuse me of pulling your frond before blocking me
D --> I e%pect to continue our conversation in a short time
D --> When your curiosity overwhelms your irritation

Edited 2021-10-06 03:07 (UTC)

LISTEN, HOOFBEASTFUCKER, MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL WRITE YOU UP THE EPIC STORY OF HOW WE WHOOPED ASS AND SAVED THE MASSES AT THE SACRIFICE OF HUNDREDS OF DOOMED TIMELINES, BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. TOMORROW IS NOT EVEN THAT DAY. OR THE NEXT DAY. THIS WEEKEND PROBABLY IS OFF THE TABLE.
HOLD YOUR BREATH.

THAT WAS NOT A JOKE ABOUT YOUR DEATH, BUT NOW THAT I AM THINKING ABOUT IT, IT IS FUNNY. OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE ALIVE SO THIS ISN'T OFFENSIVE.

(Yeah, Karkat, that's how that works.)

I AM NOT DENYING THE POSSIBILITY OF ALTERNATE REALITIES, YOU WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAIN. I AM MERELY STATING THAT WHEN FOLLOWING MOST TIMELINES I AT LEAST REMEMBER ENOUGH OF IT TO SEE WHERE THE DIVERGENCE BEGAN. LIKE A DEATH OR A COLOSSAL FUCK-UP OF SOME SORT. THIS IS AN UNUSUAL ALTERNATIVE ROUTE. I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WILD OR STUPID TO GET HERE.
NOT THAT I CAN REMEMBER ANYWAY.
NOW I AM REALIZING HOW STUPID IT IS TO DEPEND ON ONE'S OWN MEMORY TO DETERMINE THE COURSE OF ONE'S OWN LIFE. GOD, I'M ALMOST AS WORTHLESS AS YOU ARE.

*YOU* ARE PREDICTABLE YOU ROTTEN SPHINCTER. YOUR EXISTENCE IS ABOUT AS WORN DOWN AS A GRATUITOUS SEEKER OF PHYSICAL COMFORTS AND RELATIONS. I AM NOT PREDICTABLE. I HAVE GROWN AND MATURED. I AM NOT THE TROLL YOU ONCE KNEW. I AM AN ADULT, BITCH.

I WILL PROVE HOW MATURE AND GROWN I HAVE BECOME BY RESISTING THE CHILDISH URGE TO BLOCK
YOUR ASS AND IGNORE YOUR EXISTENCE ON THE STREETS. LOOK AT MY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. IT IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE.
SEE. MY IRRITATION IS FULLY UNDER CONTROL. IT'S SO UNDER CONTROL IT'S DOMESTICATED.

[Huh... he didn't block Equius. That was ... wait, was that a choking crack? Equius was almost insulted, but then... he hadn't mentioned being choked by his own bow, had he?]

D --> We are from the e%act same timeline I see
D --> You are forgiven for that e%tremely p00rly timed joke at the e%pense of my demise
D --> Given that it confirms my suspicions as most d00med timelines never made an appearance in the Holy Hive
D --> Based upon the Cerulean's commentary I assume some sort of temporal shenanigan had to be invoked to solve the situation
D --> It was otherwise unfi%able according to her and she is not known for her personal pessimism

D --> I see that you cannot stop reminding people repeatedly of your improvements
D --> But I will acknowledge there is some small improvement if you are capable of continuing our little discussion

D --> This is probably another game
D --> Others may be along shortly if it is like the Holy Hive of Asgard
D --> The temporal shenanigans may give you hives
D --> They are were a frequent pain in the think pan to e%plain
D --> I actually began to envy having you around at times since you never cease being willing to shout e%planations at people
D --> It used to save me precious evenings of time when you were around

it's not targeting you especially.

and altho your mode of self expression is fucking ridiculous, i actually do agree about how shitty it feels to have your body altered without consent.

JUST SLIGHTLY OFF KILTER, I GUESS. IT WOULD APPEAR AS THOUGH I AM FROM THE SUPERIOR FUTURE OF OUR COLLECTIVE FUTURE.
IT IS NOT A POORLY TIMED JOKE IT WAS PERFECTLY EXECUTED. JUST LIKE YOU WERE.

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, DUDE.

PEOPLE SHOULD BE FORTHCOMING IN THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND PERSONAL GROWTHS. IF THERE IS ANYTHING WORTH CELEBRATING IN LIFE IT IS HOW DEEP YOU HAVE BURIED YOUR OWN SHITTY SELF. GRANTED, IF I HAD THE SAY IN WHAT WAS TO BE DONE WITH MY OWN BODY, I WOULD FEED IT TO MAGGOTS, BUT THE DEAD CANNOT BE CHOOSERS.
IT IS AN ENORMOUS IMPROVEMENT.
YOU SEEM SLIGHTLY LESS INSUFFERABLE YOURSELF. DO NOT MISTAKE THAT FOR A COMPLIMENT. I AM MERELY ACKNOWLEDGING AN APPARENT FACT SINCE I DO NOT FEEL ESPECIALLY HATEFUL OF YOU RIGHT NOW.

WELL GUESS WHAT, HERE I AM, AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO BE YOUR MOUTHPIECE. I KNOW NOTHING OF THIS PLACE. MY OWN THINK PAN IS FRIED AND SUNNY SIDE UP. THERE IS NOTHING I WILL BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO ANYONE WORTH ANYTHING.
I HAVE ONLY BEEN HERE TWO HOURS AND ALREADY I HAVE FAILED SOMEONE'S EXPECTATIONS OF ME. THANK YOU FOR THAT.

Edited 2021-10-06 04:40 (UTC)

I DID NOT SAY IT WAS TARGETING ME ESPECIALLY. I AM STATING THAT I FEEL ESPECIALLY TARGETED. THERE IS A SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE SENTIMENTS AND IT IS HARDLY MY FAULT YOUR INCOMPETENT THINKPAN CANNOT KEEP UP.

IT IS NOT RIDICULOUS. IT IS EXPRESSIVE AND UNIQUE AND DISTINGUISHES MY PERSONALITY AND CULTURAL LIFESTYLE. WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOUR RIDICULOUS LACK OF CONSISTENCY.

I SURE FUCKING HOPE YOU DO OR I'D DEEM YOU A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.
BUT THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR YOUR EMPATHETIC VALIDATION OF MY OBVIOUSLY INCREDIBLY VALID EMOTIONS. I AM SO GLAD TO GAIN YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

(Hilariously, Karkat is being completely sincere about that. He just expresses everything he says in the worst way possible.)

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