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video; UN: TripleJ

[The feed at first is just a mass of red, curly, curly hair. Then Kyle sits back from where he's propped up his Omni on his desk so his upper body and head are visible. He looks vaguely annoyed, which anybody who knows him will recognise isn't terribly unusual.]

So this is a problem that isn't REALLY a problem, but fuck it, I'm gonna ask about it anyway...

You guys have noticed the clothes here, right? Like, everything looks like you're gonna go hunt Dracula or some shit, or like you're going to that fancy-ass party celebrities go to on earth, the, uh, Met gala? Yeah, that.

Now I'm not a fashion guy. [This is evident to literally anyone who can see the feed - this is clearly a man who bought the first clothes he found that fit. Well, mostly fit. He's looking a bit like he mugged an extra in a bad stage production of Oliver Twist.]

But if I DID want something that didn't look like ass, I don't even know what that would look like, you know? Like if you wanted to make an impression, or something. So I guess just like... what the hell are you guys wearing?

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I can take comfort in that, even if most first kisses don't involve a choking hazard. But yeah, we got it figured out. Honestly, these days the biggest concern is my new powers and me accidentally setting him on fire.

[When your powers are connected to your emotions and you're trying to keep it together while making out at the same time is tricky. ]

Don't mention it, happy to help. And no? I mean, if you wanna wear floral, I say go for it. No one would have been bothered by that back home, but Corona is pretty relaxed as a kingdom, so we're more the exception than the rule. [He snorts in amusement. ] Our princess won't even wear shoes.

Okay, true.

Oh, dude, yes! Suddenly having powers is a trip, I have NO idea what to do with them! Yours sound more dangerous, though. Mine seem pretty passive. Have you set a bunch of stuff on fire already?

You have a shoeless princess? That's kinda cool.

I have set so much on fire. Including Fern. It uh...seems linked to my emotions? So yeah, trying to get a better handle on that.

[Because he wants to makeout with his boyfriend without potentially burning him to a crisp.]

Yeah, her name's Rapunzel. [He might be checking Kyle's reaction- some people recognise her name some don't. ] She uh... she's a free spirit.

Oh wow. I think my boyfriend would kick my ass if I did that. I mean hypothetically, I don't have a boyfriend.

Would like, meditation or some crap help?

...like with the hair?

He was amazingly forgiving about it. [Wow that's a weird way to word it, Kyle, he raises an eyebrow.] So maybe your hypothetical boyfriend would be the same way.

Maybe? It's been suggested. I'm just not so great at...at sitting still and doing nothing?

[Ah, there it is. He nods softly, there's always a chance.]

That's the one. Apparently, there's a movie and everything? Definitely a storybook- though the latter doesn't really follow the history I know.

Uhm. [Distract!] Isn't Fern made of grass? Holy shit, you that really is serious.

I get that.

Is there? I know the story from when I was a kid. But I'm sure it's way off, since stories usually are. What were you back home, anyway?

[Kyle used distract! It was very effective!!]

Oh yeah, it can be really...uh dangerous. We're working on it. We've weathered plenty already, we'll figure something out.

[He waves a hand vaguely in the air.]

I never saw it- I kinda don't want to, I think it's just a little too weird for me. [There's one thing being aware that in some universes you are a fictional character, it's another thing entirely to actually indulge in that fiction.] I'm the Royal Engineer, back home. An alchemist, specifically. Machines, chemical compounds, stuff like that.

You guys go way back, huh? And if I'm getting too personal tell me to fuck off, I won't be offended.

Dude, that's awesome! You're a fucking scientist. That's hardcore. [Fucking nerd.] And super useful here, wow.

It's okay, I like talking about him. And yeah, he was the first person I met when I arrived in the dream. He made sure I ate the food we got when we arrived, to stop me from fading out of existence. We've had each other's back since then and that was a year and a half ago.

[He's MORE than happy to gush about Fern always. ]

Hah, thanks. It is pretty hardcore. [He says, with only the vaguest of ideas of what 'hardcore' actually means. ] I've been able to work out a few things in Deerington. It's...a little trickier here - weirdly magic is more prevalent here than in the dream, but I'm doing my best to find ways for us to understand this world better.

Dude, that's a long time. That's so sweet. [Underneath Kyle's desire to be logical at all times lurks the heart of a total sap.]

I get that. I loved the hard sciences but I went into way less practical shit because... well, reasons, and I respect the shit out of people who figure out the whys and hows of things.

It's weird here, yeah. There's no magic where I'm from. Well. Mostly. [The memory of a leprechaun will haunt him forever.] But I'm trying to figure out how it works, and how it's shaped what this place is. And for selfish reasons because like you said, powers are dangerous.

It really is, I lucked out a lot.

[Varian has a sappy heart when it comes to Fern, at least.]

Hah, thanks. I'm...definitely an oddity, back in Corona. There's a lot of magic there- ergo the aforementioned hair - so me being into science meant I was usually treated like a weirdo.

[Also because he tried to kill a bunch of people that one time. That too.]

But yeah, powers are dangerous! And we have them now. We need to figure out how to control them to keep people around us safe.

Ohhhh, fuck, that's weird, that's the opposite of where I'm from. Well. Mostly. People where I'm from aren't REALLY magic but some of them believe really dumb shit more than they do in science and it's a real problem, but yeah.

Yeah, exactly. [He pauses to grab a leather trapper hat.] Dude, you're pretty cool, you know that right?

I think that might be more obnoxious, honestly. At least I can understand where people's confusion back home comes from, even if it's wrong. In your world, it just sounds like they're being ignorant.

[Which is plain RUDE! He blinks in surprise because no, no he did not know that. The only person who actively tells him he's cool is Fern and he's biased.]

Uhhhh...I am? I don't...normally get told that? Nerd- yeah, but not cool?

Yeah. People where I'm from are honestly not very smart.

[Kyle is definitely buying this stupid hat.] Well, I'm a nerd too, but still!

It sure sounds it.

[BUY THE HAT, KYLE. LIVE YOUR DREAMS.]

I can tell. With the hat. [He teasing, he's absolutely teasing. ] But hey, maybe you can find a way to pull it off in a cool way? To impress your hypothetical boyfriend.

Oh. Uhm. Heh, yeah. I just always had this style, like... since I was four. So. [It's like a security blanket, but he's not about to say THAT.

He goes quite the shade of pink.] Uhm. Yeah. Uhm. ...I'm really, really obvious, aren't I? Ugh. I know it's lame.

I can get that. [He taps the goggles sitting on top of his head, they're definitely old and scuffed.] I've had these since I was really little. It feels weird to...not have them with me.

[And so he keeps them on all the damn time. Except when he's sleeping, and for special dates with Fern.

The blush does bring a little smirk to his lips.]

A little obvious, yeah. And nah, it's not lame. [Look at him using the cool future lingo!!!] It's kinda sweet.

I lucked out, my favourite one was in my bag when I woke up here, but leather seems like a good idea.

I dunno why I'm bothering, he doesn't even give a shit about this stuff... I dunno. He's not my boyfriend. But. You know. I'm sorry, I'm a grown ass man and I'm rambling like a middle schooler with a crush.

That is some luck. Especially seen as this place definitely doesn't do a whole lot of...modern clothing.

[The smirk softens a little.]

Well, that's okay. I mean, emotions can get...uh, pretty tricky no matter what age you are, right? [He's seen some adults properly fall over themselves in the romance department before now.] Do you want him to be your boyfriend? Like...have you asked him?

Yeah. Hence the cry for help.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true. [Kyle, you're twenty-four, calm down.]

No, no, it's like... kinda complicated I think. There's a big culture gap.

Well, glad to be able to answer that cry!

[Bless you and your everything, Kyle. ]

I can get that. I mean, me and Fern... I'm from the time period I'm from and he's from for far in the future, things are literally post-apocalyptic. There's a lot of crossed wires. We send each other...little glossaries explaining the terms that we're used to to each other? Help bridge the gap in understanding. Do you think something like that might help you guys?

I owe you one.

Dude, that's a genius idea! I should do that! And I do want to learn some of his native language if I can, it's really pretty.

Nah, I'm happy to help.

It really does help a lot- and that's cool! Is there anyone else from his home here? You might be able to ask them for some help in learning it. Failing that, the library here has books on literally everything.

Yeah, there's one other dude. I don't think he's super into helping, but I'll check it out.

Okay! So. I've got some clothes that I shouldn't look like a total dork in.

There is? Well, that's something. Maybe you can figure out how to bribe him? Everyone wants something, right?

You do! You're gonna look dapper as anything!

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