deernet | un: timaeusTestified | text

You'd publish this absolute filth where children can read it?

You're displaying at your Omni right now aren't you.

Hey, it isn't my fucking job to moderate the parental controls on an infant's communication device. The internet's the wild west. Plus it takes people three seconds to scroll past shit they don't wanna engage with. No skin off my back.

I remember in my youth we had to watch two chicks one cup without any warning and we were fine.

Ohhhh shit, are you a hacker? Checking me out through my phone?

(He is not confirming nor denying here.)

[The internet's too eighty-years-in-the-future for Illarion to keep up with any of that.

He makes a couple of mental notes for later.]

Nothing so gauche. Anyone who knows peacocks knows you're irrepressible.

(Dirk will make sure to send him a comprehensive list of the worst videos that have ever come into existence one day.

He's smirking way too hard right now.)

You know what.

I like you. You're cool. I'll even let you fuck Never Mind first.

[His poor Omen. She can't die, but she'll probably wish she could after that.]

Why thank you. You have been delightful to correspond with.

And as it's your birthday it seems the only gentlemanly thing to do is cede priority back to you.

[It also neatly avoids the fact he's probably not fucking anyone any time soon, however he opened the conversation.]

Got a name, sweetheart?

I feel so spoiled right now. Best birthday ever. I'll tell you all about it later.

(Dirk wasn't going to be doing any fucking any time soon either, but it was amusing to talk about all the same.)

[There's a delay over here, too.]

My people don't share them but we'll take what's given to us.

If you really want to call me sweetheart it won't be the first time.

[Should he do the emoji thing this kind young man just taught him?]

😉

So, you telling me you got a name but I can't know it? All right, then I'll come up with something a little more unique than sweetheart.

(Soft gasp!!!)

You're going to make a boy blush.

Among other things, [he can still be coy,] our names are too much of a burden to put on strangers. Though once they're no longer strangers well, who can say?

I await the nickname eagerly. We get along well enough it should be a treat.

[He's always liked people who can name him well.]

And spread his feathers? 🦚

What if it's a burden people want on them?

It will be a whole ass meal, dude. You'll get a taste and be instantly addicted to it it'll be so delicious. Then you'll probably start begging for everyone to call you by that name, but then I'll be like no way, that's my name for you.

(Oh my God. Now he actually is blushing why is that working. Probably because he's never had a dude actually bluntly flirt with him before! First time for everything. Was this flirting? Wait. No. Was it? Yes. Maybe. Just roll with it, Dirk.)

Look at you whipping out those emojis with perfect accuracy. Already a fucking mastermind. Now I'm blushing and swooning.

They will be spread and shivering at this point. I'm thinking you'd be better company than the bird god ;)

Edited (whoops redundancy ) 2021-12-02 07:43 (UTC)

[That gets two whole eyebrows up all the way above the veil on Illarion's end of the conversation.

Not that the intensity is at all surprising, but it's the first time someone who wasn't another shrike had declared they'd give him a love-name.

Without even knowing what one was.]

Do you know you'd still want it if you knew all it entailed?

Now you've done it, tiercel. I shan't be satisfied unless you give me something I'd rewrite my banner for.

[Which is funny in a sad way when he doesn't have one anymore.]

What can I say? The master's expertise shines through the student. 😏

Well well well. Since he might only have eyes for his husband, I daresay the same for you. I'll need to squire you around Trench sometime.

I would first have to know all that it entailed, obviously. But yeah, probably.

Oh shit, that was a good one. I never thought someone would flirt with me by calling me a tiercel, but it's working.

(The banner thing is even proving effective too. Is this a kink he never knew he had? Or is he just attention-starved? It's probably the latter.)

I always did have a master/student fantasy. Never thought I'd get to live to see the day where I could play it out. You really do honor me.

Oh, I'm not the Knight in my party. I'm the Prince. The sentiment's sweet though and I'll take you up on that offer whenever you're ready.

And that's why it waits until we're not strangers anymore.

And what have others tried on you that you've liked?

[He might, a little, be picking up on the attention starvation.

Which means he's more than--happy, yes, or a pattern of it--to keep flirting except when he gets completely derailed by--]

Sorry, you wrote that you're a Prince?

[It can't mean the same thing, he's sure, but godspit.]

Fair point. I'll have to give you a casual nickname in the meantime though so I can refer to you specifically.

(Well. That question is...embarrassing. How does he even answer this without calling himself out?)

People typically don't try. At least not the ones I want to try. But I've had extremely limited options.

(There. That wasn't so bad, right?)

Correct. That's my role where I come from. Prince of Heart.

[...They're even styled the same way. There even was a Prince of Heart in Illarion's lifetime, though damned if he can remember at the moment what her domain and Court were like.]

What does a Prince of Heart do, where you're from?

Do you have a Court?

[This is a little disorienting. Fortunately, he usually does well with disorientation.

Still takes him a moment to ravel up the other thread they'd been working on.]

No shame in that. The universe doesn't hand us all the same opportunities.

And now you have so much lost time to make up for! I'm pleased to assist.

It translates to "Destroyer of Souls" if that gives you any indication. I can splinter my own soul and destroy others.

Kind of. I rule over the Consort Kingdom, but we don't function on strictly regal rules, you feel me? I also once shook up another kingdom which was pretty fun.

(Dirk really did just wreck shit for the vine.)

Yeah. I'll just have to learn what I like now. I always like new challenges.

I'm touched. You making a promise here that you're going to keep flirting with me? It will give me something to look forward to.

[Well! That's gruesome.

But when you've served the Prince of Locusts and the King of Eyes you get used to gruesome things.

(You are a gruesome thing yourself.)]

So souls aren't eternal, where you're from. A little frightening to think of. What's splintering yours do for you?

Did they deserve it?

[The notion that an insurrection could be pretty fun--Queen and Throne, but this guy reminds him of Locusts all of a sudden, in all the ways that's bittersweet rather than horrific.]

Keep a list. Send it to me sometime. I've got a lot of material I'm too happy to dust off for you.

And that is a promise.

(It was probably more lonely than it was gruesome, but gruesome was a kinder word.)

Nothing is eternal in any dimension. Everything has an eventual end, even the impervious and immortal, even if it takes an eternity for the end to happen. I am immortal, but I die all the time.

It doesn't matter what it does to me. Sometimes it just needs to be done.

(AKA it does nothing good!)

In some ways, yes. It got the attention I needed to get. In other ways, innocent beings probably suffered behind the curtains.

Will do. I'll categorize them and everything.

I wait in anticipation. Do I get to know what you look like?

That much, we have in common. Even the elves live under the shadow of death, even if it's not age that will take us.

Most of us. [To be wholly correct.

Then he smiles in a familiar, empathetic reflex at Sometimes it just needs to be done.]

The dead--and the ever-dying--do what the living cannot, is that it? Where'd you learn that one, tiercel?

[Locusts, on the other hand, would not have worried about the innocent she hurt. That's a good difference.]

We might have a good conversation about that, sometime. Picking your wars carefully.

Think you can explain to me how I take a picture with this thing without being able to see myself?

Oh shit, you're an elf? Am I about to live out all my complex Lord of the Rings fantasies?

I guess. That and I figure if someone has to die to get shit done, it might as well be me. I learned it from myself. I like to be in control. Especially where it counts.

(He likes this nickname, he decides.)

You can actually probably have your Omen take some sort of image of you. Do you have the braille feature on your Omni available? I think that exists.

But if you wanted to figure it out, you would just hold it up with the smooth side facing you, and you should be able to take the picture by pressing your thumb towards the bottom.

That depends on the fantasy and the elves. They're not mammals, are they? [They're almost surely mammals.]

Admirable. But lonely. Who were you doing it for?

[It's wired into him to think of community first. Even if he hasn't got one of his own any longer.]

I'd heard they can do that. Let me see...

["You heard all that?" he asks his Omen.

She scrabbles the Omni out of his hands in response. Guess they're doing this.]

[Somehow between them they manage to get a picture up.]

[And then another follows, but from the Omen herself.

It's, uh. Different. And the colors are brighter and stranger on top of that.]

Edited 2021-12-03 03:13 (UTC)

I'm not sure. I do not think that my concept of mammals is the same throughout the universe. I would ask how your kind reproduces but that seems invasive and slightly rude.

My own ego, most likely. I want to say my friends, but that would not be completely honest. I like to see what I am capable of.

(Oh.

Oooooh.

Yeah, he really is a monster fucker.)

You're really attractive. Especially in the second one.

Warm blood, fur and hair instead of feathers and down, nurse their young? Even the males have nipples?

A little odd but hardly rude. Most elves lay eggs. My particular sort are born live after the egg hatches inside its mother.

How did you learn you don't stay dead, in that case? An egoist who'd end himself seems a contradiction.

[. . .]

Is something different about the second one?

un: timaeusTestified | text | Birthday Boy

missing comma intentional

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cw: suicidal ideation

1/2?

2/2...?

3/2 (oh no) (and done)

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cw: suicide mentions, ... eggnancy??

cw: suicide mentions, ... eggnancy?? bird...smut

bird smut.....

Re: bird smut.....

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--> private; this ended up being a lil bit of a train crash

private forever - this is gr8

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