un: timaeusTestified | text | Birthday Boy

[givehead]

Turning 21 has been a completely underrated experience. I was expecting the blackout and loss of time. Even the warping to a new place isn't out of the realm of estimated probability.

But being genetically altered is a plot twist. I assume it is so we can fuck the monsters.

I call dibs on the raven dude.

cw: looots of kink/fetish/nsfw jokes/conversation going on in this here post.

Comments

[givehead]

I have the power of gods. It's not that big of a deal.

How would do you think that would look? "Excuse me, sirs, do you need a springy young twink to spice up your lives?"

[droptheious]

Oh. Well, congrats to you, then. You might stand a chance.

I don't know what a twink is [it's you, Varian, you're a twink] but maybe? They both really like learning so you'd be better offering some kind of book or something to sweeten the deal.

[givehead]

Thanks, dude. Your belief in me is all I have ever wanted.

(Dirk, shut up, ya'll just met.)

Twinks are young queer dudes in their teens to twenties that are slim and pretty.

Hmm. Got it. I'll write them a book about furry culture. Great idea.

[droptheious]

I've been told I'm really inspiring like that so you're welcome.

[He is not even marginally inspiring. ]

Oh. Why are they called that? I've heard of twinkies but I thought those were food?

I'm not sure what furry culture is either and I'm scared to ask.

[givehead]

And here you are blessing me with your insight. Gosh, what did a boy like me ever do to deserve this gift?

There is mixed consensus. Some believe it is a crude joke about twinkies being cream-filled. You know. Like jizz. Others think it comes from British slang meaning a male sex worker.

We learn nothing when we let fear control us.

[droptheious]

Sometimes, your lucky star just shines on you, I guess.

...

Yup you know what I am absolutely sorry I asked about the Twinkie thing so I don't think I should delve deeper into that rabbit hole. I might learn things I can never unlearn.

[givehead]

Hey man, that's cool. If you ever find yourself wondering though I'm practically a certified textbook when it comes to this stuff.

[droptheious]

I guess someone has to be? I tend to just...avoid it. I'm not great at any of it honestly.

Makes me feel awkward.

[givehead]

By "any of it" do you mean the sex thing or relationships in general?

That's normal, bro. I've been thoroughly desensitized.

[droptheious]

The sex thing. I'm not too bad with the relationship stuff now? Mostly. Like 80% figured that out.

Yeah kinda sounds it. Not a lot of people come here immediately wondering if they can jump into bed with the Pthumerians.

[givehead]

If you ever need advice or pointers, I have been told I am a good teacher. That's actually not a come-on, BTW.

What can I say? I have big dreams.

[droptheious]

Oh. Thanks. I. Well, I'll keep that in mind. Appreciate the offer.

I wish you the best of luck, then. Try not to get smited by them.

Smote? Smoted? Smited? Whichever.