1 Point | Video; UN: Strike1st | CW Language

[strikefirster]

[The feed opens up to a crooked shot of a building that screams abandoned warehouse vibes. Out of frame is a man in a black karate gi standing next to a grandfather clock with the words "Professor Dongspin" written on it in green paint.]

Now I just got here but I've been seen a lot of talk about free fighting lessons. But we all know that in life you get what you pay for.

You want to really kick the competition? Then you need to get your ass down to Cobra Kai.

Screw that weird ass fairy tale bullshit. Learn from someone who drinks raw eggs, not pansy ass hot chocolate.

You'll learn bone crunching, face smashing, all American Karate. For the reasonable price of your blood, sweat and tears.

We're not going to be doing any self-defense, It's time to learn self-offense.

Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai and let me teach you the way of the fist.

[And then leaps into the air and delivers a spinning kick into the grandfather clock which collapses and smashes against the ground.

The feed cuts out shortly after.]

Comments

[foulhussy]

damn straight i do
i got fucking attitude
attitude to fuck your mom
and your dad

but also i could beat your ass so why should i bother learning shit from you

[strikefirster]

Tell my dad I said nice the next time you go down on him.

Because you might be tough shit right now but you could be fucking unstoppable.

[foulhussy]

yeah and ill hifive him while he's deepthroating me

oh yeah? how.

[strikefirster]

I'm learning so much about him right now.

You can never have enough moves in your arsenal. Plus knowing how to go on the offense like a real badass keeps all the pussies away.

[foulhussy]

damn bro i thought you wanted to get pussy

i get more than you it sounds like

[strikefirster]

Not those pussies. The other kind of pussies. Jeez, keep up. No wonder you're out there getting fucked by old men.

Yeah. At Cobra Kai you get all the ladies, or dudes, or whatever the fuck you're into.

[foulhussy]

alright. what are ur tricks

[strikefirster]

You'll have to come to the dojo and find out.
But we'll teach you how to Strike First
Strike Hard
and Show No Mercy.

[foulhussy]

eh.

don't have much better to do.

[strikefirster]

That's the spirit.
Besides you know what they say.
Kicks get chicks.

[foulhussy]

Does it get you any?

[ Even after sending it, she realizes that's almost too mean. ]

[strikefirster]

I've had a few dates since I opened up my dojo.
They didn't really last past the first date but it's a start.
And I got tons of chicks in highschool

[foulhussy]

wow, sad
tempted to be your wingwoman so im less depressed
but i dont think i could help you

[strikefirster]

It'll turn around.
Once I get the new dojo going and we kick the competition with the tournament I'm planning.
That's when you get the babes.

[foulhussy]

lemme see that thing then
dojo

[strikefirster]

Yeah.
Sure. It's a work in progress.
Just moved in and need to set up.

[He sends some pictures and it honestly looks like the inside of an abandoned warehouse and nothing like a proper dojo or gym.

There is a duffle bag on the floor and some empty beer bottles though.]

[foulhussy]

you live there?

[ That's as pathetic as the shack she was staying in when she arrived! ]

[strikefirster]

Yeah.
I just got here.
And I might as well get this place set up first and then I'll get find my own spot.

[foulhussy]

eh i lived in a broke down shack for a while, you'll manage

but maybe you should find a house