( accidental omni post )

[jedies]

Obi-Wan Kenobi (38) Looking for something with no strings attached? Tired of the awkward fumbling of a person who doesn't know what they're doing? Seeking out an attentive lover who gives you all the time and energy you deserve for a lovely evening? Then look no further than Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. General of the Republic. Known galaxy-wide as the Negotiator, he will see to your satisfaction

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Comments

[catchatting]

I'll take your word for it.

Wait, I feel like I should ask what that is just in case you're in a like fascist cult or something. Super not sexy.

[jedies]

We're peace-keepers. We believe in balance where all living things grow and get to choose their own lives. And we believe in the Force.

Monks, I believe, is one word for us.

[catchatting]

But you're monks who can have sex as long as you don't have feelings about it? I can get behind that kind of monk.

What's the Force, anyway? It sounds like some hippie crap. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you smell like patchouli? And what's the likelihood that you're about to try to sell me on joining your downline for an essential oils pyramid scheme?

[jedies]

Oh, we're allowed to have feelings. It's encouraged in fact. But we're not allowed commitments like marriage and so forth.

And the Force is living energy that binds us all together. The Jedi are imbued with special powers because we can tap into it. And no, I don't do recruitment.

[catchatting]

So you can care about people, but you can't prioritize them? That's healthy.

You sound like my brother. He's all about that energy-vibes stuff.

[jedies]

Actually, the idea is to prioritize all people. Not just the ones you like best.

[catchatting]

Oh. Huh, that actually sounds pretty okay.

[jedies]

It is a difficult thing to do, sometimes. And it may not be ideal for everyone.

But I believe in the idea of boundless compassion. And I will continue to do so.

[catchatting]

Wow that's... pretty amazing.

But you're allowed to have friends, right? Loneliness isn't good for anyone. I should know. All my friends were pretty fake for most of my life.

[jedies]

Of course. We have nothing against friendships or bonds.

But I don't make commitments like marriage.

[catchatting]

Sounds like you're coming out on top with this.

[jedies]

It's not the easiest life, but it's one I've found comfort and fulfilment in.

[catchatting]

That's nice. It's good when you find your niche. I thought I had mine for a while, but the things you want at like thirteen seem a little less fulfilling at thirty three.

[jedies]

That's true. When I was thirteen, I fought in a civil war.

[catchatting]

Oh.

I was like... selling lifestyle stuff on CatChat with referral codes.

[jedies]

Not a terrible way to start a career, I'm assuming.

[catchatting]

Well no. I was actually really rich and successful and famous by the time I turned 18.

It just kind of feels a little hollow when you're talking to a former teenaged soldier who's found some massive inner peace calling and I'm sitting here painting my nails and trying to hit on him because I'm low key horny and the guy who usually scratches my itch is kind of having a moment right now...

[jedies]

It may seem that way, but that's really up to you where you choose to find fulfillment. Perhaps you simply need a change, something else that might be your calling that you never considered before.

[catchatting]

I don't know. I do like helping people. It's nice to accomplish something that isn't just about me, you know?

But I still like looking good while I do it. You can pry my heels from my cold, dead feet.

[jedies]

Of course. You can do both, I find.

[catchatting]

You know you're a pretty cool guy, Obi-Wan.

[jedies]

I'm very flattered.