Jessica Ushiromiya (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
snakesdonthavelegs) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2022-03-09 04:21 pm
snakesdonthavelegs) wrote in deernet2022-03-09 04:21 pm
text | un: jessie☆sama ; misfire
RUBY
RUBY HELP ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
ive been listening to all these pop songs from korea
ive gotten really into it actually they're super good (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)
anyway ive started watching the music videos too and
for some reason when i watched a few of the girl groups
i felt all warm and tingly and couldnt stop thinking about how pretty and cool they all were
and a lot of other stuff
AM I LEBSAIN??? w(ﾟДﾟ)w
RUBY HELP ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
ive been listening to all these pop songs from korea
ive gotten really into it actually they're super good (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)
anyway ive started watching the music videos too and
for some reason when i watched a few of the girl groups
i felt all warm and tingly and couldnt stop thinking about how pretty and cool they all were
and a lot of other stuff
AM I LEBSAIN??? w(ﾟДﾟ)w
no subject
i think i probably like boys too
(⌒_⌒;)
no subject
Then you're probably bisexual or pansexual?
(>‿◠)✌
no subject
i'm just not used to thinking of it is normal everyday stuff
maybe its just nothing after all
no subject
I can get that. Sometimes, we avoid thinking about our sexualities because we're afraid of what we might find out. [...Lexi is among the we]
It might be? Maybe it's just that one person and you're straight other than her? That happens.
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yeah maybe they're better about it then
im from 1986
i hear theres a lot of gay people in tokyo
but i live in this stupid mansion with my stupid family who wants me to keep the family line going and be a perfect reserved lady
oh... maybe
[ She's... trying hard not to have her head explode when she thinks about who that one person might be. Awkward. ]
no subject
Yeah, we'd occasionally have a guest speaker to talk about homophobia and transphobia and how to check oneself to be sure we didn't find those attitudes falling into everyday speech.
1986? Jeez. You didn't even have the internet to help. Granted, in those days the internet was used strictly by the US military to trade information, but the internet really could have been a bonus.
Yeah, most major cities. And by my time, most minor cities, too.
Oh, no.
No, that's not good. I mean, granted, you could arrange for in vitro pregnancy with a sperm donor chosen out of a pack of straight-A, blueblooded, future doctors, but I don't know how accessible that was in 1986.
Yeah. Maybe. [not thinking about Rue. or Jules. or Rue and Jules AT ALL]
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may dad had one for business stuff
i dont think he really knew how to use it tho ╮(￣ω￣;)╭
yeah but its not just about making the kid
thats just how old money works
it makes connections between two families
mine were samurai back in the day apparently lol
no subject
It's good that you had at least something of a resource.
Though, if I remember right, 1986 wasn't exactly a LGBTQIA-friendly time period.
I hadn't been born yet, but I read some books on the subject.
My mom is the same.
It's a good thing she can't figure out how to find my search history and that her parental control settings have an easy to figure out password.
So you might get forced into being married even if you're not attracted to him?
Just to get the perfect blue-blood baby?
That sucks!
no subject
not many ppl did
thats just rich families for you
all about prestige and business connections and shit
no subject
Choose a username which no one can figure out it's you and go on forums.
Glad I'm lower-middle class, then.
Prestige and business connections don't exactly sound like a recipe for true love.
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but people from a family like ours have to think of our future and all that crap
so just marrying anybody is selfish my parents say
my husband will lead the family in the future and i need to be an excellent wife to support him
its a whole load of bull
like come on weve got feminism these days!
no subject
Thinking that you don't have a choice in your own happiness and have to try and care about someone, regardless of what or whom you really want.
I'm sorry. That's got to be really rough, to know that your own happiness has to take second place and wish that your husband was someone you could love.
What does being an excellent wife involve?
It really, really, really is!
We do! We should be able to be with the ones we love, have a career, and only have kids if we want to do it.
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i just wish that they'd been more flexible about it
i would have found some way to contribute to the family
not that it matters now
[ All this thinking about family has started to bring her spirits down, especially know what will happen to them, at least in Ange's world. ]
i can take the time now to figure out what makes me happy i guess
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And it's also normal for one's parents to be set in their ways, have what their opinion of what might make one happy override what would actually make their child happy.
What? Why not?
[...did Jessica get spoiled on what happened to her own life? if so, that'd an absolute dick move]
You can.
And those who care about you will support you.
And if you ever want to talk it over, I'll do my best to be there for you.
no subject
but i didn't want them to choose everything about my life either
i hope if they could see me now, they'd find a way to be proud of me
[ She found out about a massacre that kills her entire family! She doesn't like thinking about it. ]
thanks
no subject
Granted, we don't know each other very well, but you seem like you're friendly, thoughtful, and smart.
All things to be proud of.
[horror. absolute horror. that's awful]
Sure.