deernet | video; UN: TripleJ

[Hey, look who has a face again! And he looks like he's actually slept recently.]

Uh. Hi. If you don't know me, I'm Kyle. This is like, extremely awkward feeling, but I'm gonna do this anyway.

It's Passover season. You wanna come for Seder? You can come to my place in Gaze. It's uh, behind an empty storefront called Bi the Garage, just take the stairs up to the second floor. Open invite to anybody, just like... don't show up and try to kill anyone 'cause I absolutely will kick your ass. And if I die, my boyfriend will destroy you so like, don't even bother.

Obviously the menu might be uh, a little different? Because we live in the fucking mushroom kingdom and stuff. Also I'm not orthodox so don't expect this to be like... hardcore. But I'm gonna do my best. Show up on Friday I guess anytime since it's ALL after sundown now, so... yeah. If you show up early I'll put you to work, though.

So. Yeah. Use this space to introduce yourselves to each other and stuff, I'm not your mom.

Chag Pesach Sameach.

[eta OOC: feel free to mingle below, and if you want to thread anything you can use Kyle's house of course. I'm going to be handwaving due to illness.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Kyle will never get tired of the trolls and their questions.]

Okay, one: shut up, he so could! He's tough! He just cries a lot!

Two: it's a religious holiday about escaping slavery. Uhm, I don't mean hardcore like tough, I mean like strict.

It's a special ritual meal. Uhm, did you wanna come? I'd walk you through it all.

I will let the former 'slide' because it is tradition for you to say such things. I have, however, seen him in a strife.

[Like, three years ago, dude. He trained.]

Ah, escape from bondage. There is some level of badassery to this. Does this meal contain confections most foul to prove one's mettle?

[It has Maror, so ... YES. Even Equius would have a reaction to raw horseradish, especially if you told him that it was indeed horseradish.]

Well. So have I! He's badass!

Dude, it's totally badass. You should come, I think you'd like the story!

Uhm. Yeah. Yeah, actually, depending on your palette.

[There is something about inflicting food you don't particularly care for on the unsuspecting that is appealing. It's just part of human nature.]

Glob. You really are smitten aren't you?

[Bleeeeeech.]

I may willingly come and participate. I see little harm on it, especially if there are legitimately unpleasant foods to inflict upon others.

[He has to stop and think for a moment, surprised.] I guess I am.

Awesome!

Very well. I will participate in this cultural exchange. And I will attempt to ingest these foods that you speak of.

...

When should I stop by?

That makes me really happy, dude. Thanks.

Uhh, after five but before seven PM.

I will be there.

(OOC: I'll leave up to you if we want to play this out. Haha, I actually do know the Seder meal for the most part, so I can definitely follow along.)

Awesome. I think you'll like it.

(OOC: I'm gonna handwave this one since I have a bunch of other stuff that piled up while I was down with the sickness, but let's assume Equius was oddly adorable.]

(OOC: Perfect. We'll have chances for stuff next month with these two idiots as is. I like this plan.)

WOW. FUCK YOU ALL THE WAY THROUGH. I DO NOT "CRY" A LOT. I EMOTE HEAVILY AND EXCESS EMOTIONS STREAM OUT OF MY VISUAL RECEPTORS WHICH IS BEYOND MY CONTROL.

that's the definition of crying!

you're just gonna gloss over how badass i said you are?

SAYS WHO?!?!

OKAY, YEAH, THAT PART WAS FINE AND CAN BE LEFT IN. I *AM* A BADASS.

ANYWAY IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR ME TO KNOW ABOUT THIS HOLIDAY? DO YOU NEED ME TO BRING ANYTHING OR HELP WITH FOOD?

everybody?

i know. <3

if you want you can help me with prep, or just hang out while i cook.

THEN WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A MASS GENOCIDE ON OUR HANDS. WELL, ON MY HANDS. I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM FINALLY GETTING TO LIVE OUT A DREAM. THEN NO ONE CAN EVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CRYING EVER AGAIN.

BECAUSE THEY WILL BE SO FUCKING DEAD.

<3

CAN I TOUCH YOUR BUTT AT RANDOM INTERVALS WHILE YOU COOK? I CUT MY CLAWS DOWN AND EVERYTHING.

oh boy you're going to absolutely love the part of the passover story that features the death of all the first borns.

of course you can touch my butt. you can do that pretty much whenever.

I DO APPRECIATE THE VIOLENCE OF HUMAN RELIGION. YOUR KINDA SEEM LIKE THEY ARE AGAINST DEATH BUT THEN ALL THEIR HOLY SCRIPTURES ARE "AND THEN EVERYONE FUCKING DIED LOL."

EXCELLENT. YOU WILL GET SO ADJUSTED TO MY HANDS ON YOUR ASS YOU WILL FEEL NAKED WITHOUT THEM.

yeah dude this one is basically "release us from slavery!"
"lol no"
so god just fucks their shit up hardcore.

that's oddly appealing. <3

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