text | timaeusTestified | Coming Out

[givehead]

CWs for entire post/threads within: Discussion of sexual orientation, queerness, discrimination against LGBTQ+, homophobia, transphobia, gender identity, themes of coming out etc.

Coming out is such a fuckin' scam.

There's always someone who has to hear this but damn, don't let anyone guilt you into that shit. You don't have to explain any part of your identity to anyone. Not your friends, not your family, not your significant other. Fuckin' nobody. It's your identity. Yours. Not theirs.

And for the record? Don't sweat it so much if you can't figure it out. Sexuality and romantic attraction and gender identity don't need to be forced into some convenient description you found online. It's fine if you haven't found the right word for it. Language is, oftentimes, limiting to the full expression of our existence.

That shit is so fluid most people be wasting their whole life feeling worried about it because everyone around them goes on and on about how they figured their shit out. Like cool, whatever, congrats for them, but trust me, you're not less valid or whatever just because you ain't got a flag to hang yet. It's fine if you never figure it out. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

It's okay to be confused for a long time and it's fine to want to figure out how to fix that, but like, seriously, a lot of that confusion does come from comparing yourself to other people and their own experiences.

Whatever. I'm making this whole post private in case anyone has questions or would like to talk.

Consider this April's sex education lesson. I'm simplifying things, obviously, but the point is to open the discussion. So. Discussion Opened.

Rules of Engagement:

1. You don't get to ask me who else is responding to this post or what they are saying. I will shove my foot so far up your ass all you'll taste for the rest of your life will be dirt.

2. You are allowed to ask me about my own shit, but I'm allowed to decline to answer if I get a weird vibe from you.

3. Feel free to go anonymous. I won't pry.

4. Do not force yourself to discuss things you are not ready to discuss. I'm not going to beg you for dirty deetz so if you're not ready, then maybe tab the conversation for later.

5. Judgement-free zone. I have been on every sketchy part of the web and am completely desensitized. Imagine a thousand-yard stare but instead of war-torn countrysides, I'm just seeing thousands of years' worth of explicit Sonic x Knuckles fanart. Which, okay, actually, dope ship. Bad example. But you get my meaning.

Comments

[blackmothwings]

I thank you for it. I am unaccustomed to such open discussion about topics like this, as you know, but I see the benefits too. You have likely helped a number of people today.


I see. I did not realise there was a term for it, but I'm glad to know it now. I must confess that it is comforting to hear that some people never figure it out. There are bound to be plenty of people who feel that way, and I... don't think it is something to feel shame about either.

[givehead]

Anytime, doll. Yeah, I can't imagine your era had healthy conversations about sex and gender. I think I have. I hope I have.

Yeah, they have terms for damn near everything just about. It's complex and intimidating to a lot of people. I think everyone feels like they have to figure it out but really, it's okay if they don't. You don't lose anything about yourself.

I agree with you. We are meant to feel how we are meant to feel. It seems like things only become complicated when other people feel the need to insert their opinions on how we should feel.

CW: homophobia/oppression

[blackmothwings]

It did not. We never spoke of such things in my time for fear of ostracization or worse. It was safer to remain alone, so many did. I believe that there is still room for improvement, but I am also pleased to know that the world has become safer and more accepting.

I suppose some people like to feel 'whole,' and if they haven't figured themselves out, then they don't feel like a complete person. I can understand that desire to be complete and understand and know myself. But I agree with you. It all seems so complicated that one should not be expected to figure it all out completely.

Precisely. People do so love to insert their own opinions into everything, even when the topic at hand does not concern them. Especially when they feel intimidated by the topic or lack a fundamental understanding of it.