text || un: wheeler

[micycle]

PIZZA MARKET RESEARCH SURVEY #1

1. What are the best pizza toppings (and nothing weird like anchovies)?

2. Thin crust or thick crust?

3. Do you like orange soda?

4. Do you know how replicate orange soda here?

5. What are your preferred pizza eating hours?

6. How often would you use a horse-based delivery service? Would it depend on what kind of horse showed up at your house with the pizza? Would it matter if the horse was fucking terrifying?

Thank you all for your input.

Comments

[measuringdicks]

S'mores isn't a wolf monster S'mores is just a big-ass wolf
if you bribe her with a fucking gigantic steak she's perfectly nice

listen I don't want anything to happen to your demon horse and you don't want to go near S'mores so
how about this
I'll pick my own pizza up
I've still got a bike

[micycle]

Yeah okay. I'll give you a discount or something.

Not that money is really a thing.

[measuringdicks]

I don’t want a discount what’s a discount gonna do for me here
I want soda I don’t have to trade extra shit for
or coffee if somebody’s finally figured out how to make coffee here

[micycle]

I feel like I read that someone did? Idk I don't drink coffee. It tastes like licking a battery.

[measuringdicks]

did you actually lick a battery
because if not then you don't get to be the authority here

wait did they?? oh thank god I'm so tired all the time now
being a responsible person is fucking stupid I don't know why everyone does it

[micycle]

Just on a dare at a sleepover.

[With half of his friends shouting at him not to do it.]

I'm the sole battery-licking authority in this town.

[measuringdicks]

wow living on the edge right here
what a daredevil

not the sole coffee-drinking authority though
I think that's Shiro

[micycle]

Yeah that's cause once you're old your tastebuds die and you can't tell when stuff tastes like ass.

[He's known this for about fifteen minutes.]

[measuringdicks]

that sounds fake how do you know that
I'm pretty sure shit still tastes the same when you grow up and get older

for example
your mom's vagina still tastes the same

[That felt wrong to type, considering they have the same face.]