deernet | TEXT - un; apparition (CW: cuts used as part of a lyric)

I haven't heard of the first two, but I have listened to Metallica and love them. Which is your favorite album? Mine is probably "S&M" because it's just so large in scope and drama. That and No Leaf Clover is badass. Which of their albums is your favorite?

[well, she knows better than to judge by appearances at least?]

All very good choices! I haven't heard of Slayer before, but I'll have to look them up.

Oh good, you have some taste. What a relief. As for favorite album, it might be Master of Puppets. It's good for putting on when I need something to get my rage flowing. And for meditation.

[.........Maul, most people don't use metal rock for meditation.]

Some, yes! And that's a really good choice, for both uses. I need to start using it when I practice, it certainly gets the blood pumping and the mind sharper.

Yes. There is something about the intensity of the instruments that is good for channeling adrenaline and making one feel ready to take on the world.

And that's one of the best feelings in the galaxy. To feel strong like that, like you can take on anyone and win.

You mentioned the galaxy. Do you have interplanetary travel where you are from then?

[This is quite unusual for Maul. Most of the people here are from some version of Earth or another, so he's a bit excited to meet someone else who might also be from a different planet.]

Yes, to two galaxies. Mother is president of them both. But my friends, my teammates did enough damage to the second galaxy, so it's probably for the best that Mother has stepped in for the second. [she remembers Lyle telling her about Saturn Girl's reaction to the Creedo refugees. that she lashed out at him, trying to damage his mind when he objected to what she was doing]

Now that IS impressive.

[He means that sincerely as he explains why.]

My own always seems to be in some state of turmoil or another. People will claim the Republic has kept things secure for the last one-thousand years or so but it is only a thin veneer. Beneath always lies chaos.

Thank you.

[it's rare that anyone considered what her mother did necessary, but deep down, she knows her mother did what she had to]

So did mine, for a very long time. But Mother was raised to rule, so she was able to get things in the galaxies under control fairly quickly. She's very efficient. I honestly think she'll be the president for as long as she wants to be because she is good at it. And because people are afraid of her.

If she makes things better, than she shall be beneficial for the galaxies. People who have that much power should always be feared a little. It helps to keep a healthy mindset when viewing what they could possibly do to others. The real question is what to do when she can no longer rule. It's hard to find another person who is skilled enough and up to par to follow in the footsteps of one like that.

She does. She stepped in to rule after two fairly large disasters in our galaxy, but initially, her rule was an emergency measure. But she was elected on her own by the United Galaxies' representatives. She's very no-nonsense and likes to get right to the point. The House words of our family and foremothers are "intelligence with grace, strength with an iron will." Goodness knows she has plenty of all of that. As do I. It's a trait held by the women of our family, traced back five thousand years. On our home planet, my great-grandmother rules as the Mother of Bgztl. Closest equivalent we've found has been Queen. I'm sure Mother is expecting me to follow in her footsteps. I was her attaché for years, sat in on all of the meetings and got to know all of the other representatives. So that when she's done, I can step into place.

[she's really not sure what she thinks about that, though]

That is quite the long and impressive lineage. I come from a planet where the rulers are entirely matriarchal as well. My mother was the head of our clan, very wise and mysterious, always thinking five steps ahead. I am sure if I had been born female she would have planned to groom me to take her place, but alas, she had only sons which are less valued among Nightkin. I'm not sure what her initial plans were for me but they never came to pass.

Is that what you want though? Simply because certain things are expected of us from others doesn't mean they must come to pass.

Thank you. Despite everything...I'm proud of it, too. And it sounds as though your planet's matriarchy and my--well, my foremothers would have a lot in common. To an amazing degree. And...I'm sorry that your mother didn't value you the way you should have been. Every time I've seen you talk, you sound very wise and intelligent. Any woman should be proud to have you as her son. I do want it. I do. There will be time for me to take it when I'm in my second century.

Thank you for that compliment. Oh, my mother did value me very much even though I wasn't born female. I was her clear favorite of her children and she broke with a number of traditions because she loved me enough to want to keep me close by her side. I often wish I could still turn to her for advice here.

Then I have no doubt you shall do well. Second century? Are your people long-lived then?

It's the least I can do. And I'm glad that your mother favored you, despite everything. Especially since she was willing to break with your world's traditions and have you as the favored child. I must admit, I'm a little envious. Mother treated me like another servant. Worse, groomed me into something I didn't want to be. We are. My great-great grandmother is in her third century. I seem to be destined to outlive everyone I love.

Unfortunately, that was how my father treated me. He adopted me at a young age and treated me as little more than a tool to be used to further his pursuit of power. I hope you were able to break free from her the same way I was able to.

That does seem like a curse. My species is not so long-lived as all that but there are some species in my galaxy which live for a very long period of time, some close to a thousand years.

I'm sorry about your father. Mine was pretty awful, too. Actually, I'm not sure "awful" is a strong enough word for him. And, I did manage to free myself, once and for all. Mother's still enraged, but I try to not look at that as my problem. It's going to be painful, but there's no way around it. And a thousand years? That's far beyond any species in the United Galaxies, at least as far as we know. The second galaxy is still a little new to us.

While it is difficult to break away from what they wanted us to be, I think the harder part by far is not still falling back into that role. Sometimes it happens to me unconsciously until it is pointed out by other people how much I am acting like him.

Sometimes, I am thankful to only have the lifespan of most humanoid species. Yes, it doesn't happen often, but there are some species who can live to an immense age so long as they are not killed by other means.

Yes. I know that I'm nothing like my father and that's a good thing. But the older I get, the more I wonder how much of my mother I have in me and how that's going to be expressed. There's a person back home I have reason to have a very strong grudge against and part of me wants to see her get some kind of karmic blowback. I wonder what that's like. Though, I'd worry about becoming stagnant if I lived for thousands of years.

Yes, it is sometimes hard to become a different person than who they wanted us to be, but I think it is important to remember just that. We are different people, not them, and so we have the ability to make our own choices beyond what they wanted for us.

Yes, I agree. I am not sure how long I would like to live if given the choice with how my life has gone this far, but I would like to see more than a hundred years if I had the opportunity.

Yes. What I want out of life and mother wanted for me are so very different. However, I hate political games and becoming a lady who lunches would bore me to tears. Best to remain how I am, a mother, along with being a sometimes warrior and a sometimes ballerina. It's certainly possible? I'd imagine it will be fascinating, watching society and technology continue to evolve through the course of one hundred years.

Now that is a good list of things to become. Being a mother is a difficult job and not one everyone can do. For myself, I am content to remain a Sith, someone who can kill when it is necessary.

[Of course, for Maul, what was necessary could be as simple as someone insulting his appearance.]

Considering the things I have already seen just in my life, I can only imagine what will happen as the decades pass.

It's hard, mostly because my son is sick with something no one can figure out. He should have been a six month old when I left, instead he was six years old. I can only hope that his father keeps pressing the matter the way I would. And I'm fully prepared to do what's necessary.

[which included killing. if the Other world taught her anything, it was that some people didn't deserve to live. that some people would hurt and hurt and hurt some more unless stopped]

Are you looking forward to seeing them?

That does sound horrendous. But hopefully a cure or way to slow down such a disease will be found. You are a good mother to care and worry about him so.

[Granted, Maul's standards of what a 'good parent' are pretty low given they consist of parents that don't torture their kids on a regular basis under the pretext of training to become a Sith. But that's all the reference that he has for the most part.]

Somewhat. I don't look forward to getting older in general but I would like to get past the age at which I die back in my own galaxy.

I like to think so and hope so. I know that my urges to go back home are muted somewhat, but my son cuts through all of that and makes me incapable of being quiescent. [but his words are reassuring nonetheless. she wants to be a good mother, unlike her own mother. a son. a son would hopefully be spared the brutality of Bgztlian culture and even more so, Bgztlian gossip. if they considered her a fallen woman, so be it. she'd embrace it] You died, too? I'm sorry to hear that. This place seems to have so many second chances. One for you as well.

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