video; un: leavegodalone

[necrolord]

Is this thing on?

[ The camera opens on a man, but there is something horribly inhuman about his eyes: they are black from edge to edge, the iris burning with a ring of white light. He is flanked by two skeletons which stand at attention, each with a speck of glowing red in their shadowed eye sockets. ]

Been a while since I had to do this. Hey, hello, kia ora. You face the King Undying, the Necrolord Prime.

[ He claps his hands together. There is something wrong with them: the whites of his metacarpals are exposed, flesh crumbled away like so much ash. ]

But let's not stand on formality, right? I hear we're on a first-name basis, now. So: I'm Emperor John Gaius, creator of the Nine Houses, and also God. Not locally, mind, [ and he gestures vaguely upwards, ] here it's a more crowded playing field. I'll admit, it's been an adjustment. I tried to get a peek at my usual domain... turns out Mariana doesn't like to share.

Now, I get that I've made a few mistakes. [ He says this like funny understatement, hands splayed. It shows the bare red tendons in his palms. ] Let's clear up some misconceptions.

[ He stands accused of baby-killing, human sacrifice, and the destruction of whole planets. He riled Mariana into a deadly storm. But what he says, with all the gravity of a king, is: ]

My wife is that hot.

[ Fantastic. Amazing start. He leans in to regard the camera. ]

Look, I get it: I haven't made myself popular. I'll get a lot of kids at my door screaming log off. We're on, what, bloody retribution attempt six or seven? It's been a constant parade of death lasers and witches and kids with swords. And I see where you're coming from. I put a serious damper on everyone's fun vengeance beach party.

But it's getting a little old, so consider this a friendly warning to all my executioners: I will start losing patience. [ He quirks a smile that does not touch his eyes. ] Not to be all, I have over ten billion confirmed kills, but: maybe do not fuck with me.

Cheers.

[ The skeletons perform an ancient First House salute, and the feed cuts out. ]

Comments

[necrolord]

What if they are very sad.

Have you ever been shot in the face with a death laser? I don't recommend it.

[justoscar]

Oh. I know the guy with the death laser. He got it fixed up for you? Good! Glad you liked it.

I've heard plenty of sad stories. Let me guess: your ex-wife is a piece of work and wants to kill you.

[necrolord]

Yikes, do we have to bring my marriage into this?

[ It's not a sore spot if the jokes are funny enough, right. ]

[justoscar]

You're the one who can't get over her.

[Gideon was the one that mentioned the wife. Then John did-- and all of this just proves Oscar's point.]

For a grand Necrolord, Killer of Babies and Destroyer of Worlds, you're not very original.

Sorry. I've read this story before.

[necrolord]

Oof. 'Killer of Babies' is a fun addition. I've heard Destroyer of Worlds, though, and it does have a certain kick to it.

You want to tell me how it ends?

[justoscar]

That's what Gideon said.

I don't know the ending to the story yet because it keeps deviating. But, if it's anything like what I'm thinking?

Someone you don't expect will rise from the bottom to bring you justice. It won't be your wife.

[necrolord]

Everyone really wants to talk about my wife.

Still, thanks for the warning: I'll keep an eye out for meddling kids.

[justoscar]

Oh, like you were at the beach? When I shot you?

I don't care who you are or what you were trying to do. Whether the Pthumerians are gods or not, they still welcomed us into their home and it's only right we respect their rules. If you're planning to stay, can't you at least grow up and do that?

I won't shoot you again... if you can.

[necrolord]

This is a fascinating interpretation of metaphysical kidnapping.

[justoscar]

I chose to be here.

This is the only place worth calling home that I've got left.

[necrolord]

[ He reads this. Reads it again. Rubs a hand over the Corrupted ruin of his face, bare phalanges over the chitin that bleeds up over his cheekbones.

In the end, he doesn't reply. ]

text | un: duty | private

[martyrofduty]

Oscar?

Text | un: diggs | private

[justoscar]

[The '...' bubbles up a few times while Oscar tried to figure out what to say. The most important people in his life (that were conscious) already knew his situation.

The ones that hadn't ollied back and forth from the sea, anyway. ]

...

Who is this?

text | un: duty | private

[martyrofduty]

Pyrrha.



It's been a little while.

Private forever

[justoscar]

You're back!

I thought you changed your mind and went to the sea when I didn't see you in town. How are.

[He paused-- disparate details clicking together into a coherent order. ]

This guy is your John, isn't he?

I kinda shot him in the face the other day when he picked a fight with the sea. I had a feeling it wouldn't kill him, but it was the only thing I could think of to distract him until someone stepped in to make him stop.

Sorry.

[martyrofduty]

For what good it will do, yes.

You weren't wrong. I left, twice.

In all his dumbassery.

You follow in good footsteps. Who stepped in?

[justoscar]

No one.

I got taken out by a kid that has Something planned, but won't tell me what.

Thing is, I think that kid is strong enough to do something if they wanted to.

[martyrofduty]

Something happens with John again, let me know. I can handle him better than most people here.

Usually the people who take you out don't tell you what they have planned. Perhaps a mission statement.

There are a lot of capable people here. One has already killed him. I get people wanting to make him pay, but whatever else you take from his dumb ass post, he wasn't lying about limits to his patience. Most people have them. (That is how I shot him in the face, myself).

un: GoldenFlowers | video | private

[the_obedient_servant]

You're as bad as Johnny Lawrence is, Oscar.

[The face that looks back at him is amused at his inability to get it, quoting something that Oscar said on the network once to Paul. And their eyes look back, black and empty as their coffin is in the underground.]

Private

[justoscar]

I told you. I'm not drinking his punch or eating his candy.

I know it's dumb. I'm annoyed and I only there's nothing I can do.

[the_obedient_servant]

You seem to have missed the point again.

Obviously there's nothing you can do. You're hopelessly weak, and a ghost inside Paul's head as well. But you're still making reckless assumptions with the utmost confidence.

[justoscar]

Okay then.

What are you saying that I should be doing? I sassed the Witch at home too.

Sure, I paid for it. But, that's probably been the dance for centuries.

[the_obedient_servant]

And what did you gain out of that exchange?

The satisfaction of having sassed the witch? By that principle, you and the Necromancer should be fast friends. In many ways, he sassed the ocean - something violent and petty and arbitrary and overwhelmingly powerful - and gained absolutely nothing.

[They can respect the spirit of the plan but in practice it wasn't very well thought out...]

You should give it a try next time. That's my advice. Keep "sassing" things that will crush you and your people like insects.

1/2

[justoscar]

You really are a dramatic little shit.

2/2

[justoscar]

[Sass aside... He could see the point. What was it that Vyng, the mysterious Druid who liked to sneak into his kitchen for snacks and could turn into fire, had said?

Oscar couldn't entirely recall-- but it was something about cooperation, and finding methods to work with the flow of nature instead of against it.

The '...' continued bouncing. ]

Ok. I see your point. I've been being dumb about this whole thing because I don't want to lose anymore than I have.

You know enough to know what I'm talking about.

... I don't think I'm ready to take that step, Chara. But, the only world that gave me a choice was Julia Sodder's dream.

We're not asleep anymore.