text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST

[klawful]

THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.

DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.

NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.

IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.

*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*

Comments

[klawful]

WHAT IS THERE NOW THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE?

NOT THAT YOU NEED TO ANSWER SUCH A PERSONAL QUESTION BUT IF YOU ARE WILLING TO SHARE, I WOULD PREFER TO LISTEN. DO NOT EXPECT ME TO RETURN THE FAVOR, SO DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH ON THAT. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A MUTUAL EXCHANGE OF PERSONAL INFORMATION.

ANYWAY, GO ON.

(Karkat, he didn't even agree yet-.)

[killed]

I would say that you've already shared something quite personal, I'm merely returning the favor. Of course, neither of us has any reason to go into detail... I don't mind, though. I have nothing to hide.

Perhaps modified or replaced might be a better word. You see, parts of me are machine. I have prosthetics, but since arriving here they seem to function just my original arm had. I tried cutting my hand to see, and blood started flowing out. It's even conveniently healing up.

Don't you think that's strange? But it seems the machine is quite organic now. I'm certain this isn't the device I came in with. It should have stopped functioning long ago. I can't say I've ever seen metal bleed before.

[klawful]

I SUPPOSE YOU ARE TECHNICALLY CORRECT. THOUGH I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM SHARING A WIDESPREAD PERSONAL CONCERN THAT SEEMS TO BE COMMONPLACE ENOUGH TO NOT FEEL PERSONAL, BUT RELATABLE. I AM MERELY ADDING A PERSONAL TWIST TO IT.



THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT USUALLY HOW MECHANICS WORK, NO. WHAT DID YOU LOSE YOUR ARM TO? WAS IT AT LEAST A BADASS STORY OF EPIC PROPORTION OR WERE YOU JUST BORN PARTIALLY COMPLETE?

DEFINITELY CERTIFIABLY WEIRD AS FUCK, YEAH. APPARENTLY, THIS BLOOD HAS GRANTED MANY NEW ABILITIES. IT COULD BE AN EXTENSION OF THAT. DID YOU FEEL PAIN WHEN YOU DID THAT?

[killed]

Oh, I only wish it were something that exciting! It was just an unfortunate situation. I had a man try to kill me. As you can see, I'm still here, but the damage had been done... Hmm. Though now that you mention it, I wonder if I should come up with a better story to tell people, though? Maybe something more heroic?

Yes, I did. It seems quite organic for metal, so you may be right. The blood types here really are something, aren't they?

[klawful]

THAT IS MUCH MORE BORING, YOU ARE CORRECT. DID YOU AT LEAST ABSOLUTELY MURDER HIM IN RETURN? PERHAPS LEAVE HIM EQUALLY TORN APART?

YOU COULD DO WITH SOME ENHANCEMENTS TO THAT STORY, YES. PERHAPS MAKE IT INTO A ROMANTIC THRILLER OF SORTS. MAYBE SET THE STORY UP TO DESCRIBE THAT YOU WERE FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN WHEN YOU ENTERED A VIOLENT MUSICAL DUEL WITH A CONTRASTING ORGANIZATION OF SCOUNDRELS. BUT THEN YOU LOOK UP IN THE FIGHT AND SEE THEM: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ALIVE PRESUMABLY THAT YOU HAVE EVER WITNESSED. BUT ALAS, THEY ARE TRAGICALLY FROM ANOTHER SOCIAL GROUP, YOUR RIVAL GROUP, AND THUS THE TENSION BEGINS. BUT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE TO HAVE NOTICED THEM. YOUR MURDERER HAS AS WELL, AND THERE BEGINS THE PLOT TO THE BEST STORY EVER.

(He basically just described West Side Story but with murder, yes.)

THEY ARE...HORRIFIC. AND SEEM TO DEFY ANY REASON OR LOGIC. IF I DID NOT SUSPECT IT WOULD KILL ME, I WOULD TRY AND PURGE ALL THE BLOOD FROM MY BODY IN ONE GO.

MORTALITY IS SO FUCKING STUPID.

[killed]

[ This person is oddly charming, in a "rough around the edges" kind of way. ]

No, I let the authorities handle it. I wouldn't want to go to jail for someone like that. I suppose karma must have gotten him, though. He spent the remainder of his life in a jail cell before dying miserably. Well, I suppose that's just what happens when you live life like that.

What a wonderful idea! Why, thank you, I'll have to try something like that out. A story with drama, romance, jealousy, and poetic justice in the end... Yes, I think that will work quite nicely.

Haha, I have to agree with you there. Do you think that having a robot body would be better? At least then you wouldn't have to worry about bleeding out.. Though I suppose you'd still need to charge.

[klawful]

(Oh boy. Karkat would die blushing if he knew anyone ever thought of him as anything remotely similar to 'charming.' He'd just combust on the spot.)

THAT IS SLIGHTLY ANTICLIMATIC AND DISAPPOINTING. HUMAN JUSTICE IS SO FLIMSY AND DULL. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY YOU PUT EACH OTHER IN CAGES AND FEEL LIKE IT SUITABLY MATCHES A WIDE VARIETY OF CRIMES. I GUESS HIM DYING MISERABLY IS A SMALL COMFORT YOU CAN SLEEP WITH.

IT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA. YOU HAVE AMAZING TASTE. THANK YOU.

(Okay, he is kind of blushing now. But only because most people made fun of him for his romantic notions. What are compliments and what are you supposed to do with them?)

I DO NOT KNOW. ONE OF MY OLD FRIENDS WENT FROM BEING ALIVE TO BEING DEAD AND THEN HER SOUL WAS FORCED INTO A ROBOT BY ONE OF OUR OTHER CREEPOID FRIENDS. I THINK SHE HATED BEING CONFINED TO THE METAL FLESHSUIT OF A ROBOT. I THINK IT WOULD CAUSE A LOT OF PERSONAL AUTONOMY FEELINGS, WHICH, ADMITTEDLY, I AM VERY VULNERABLE TO. OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OUR BODIES ARE IMPORTANT. MAYBE I WOULD NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BLEEDING OUT, BUT I WOULD NOT KNOW HOW TO FEEL A BODY THAT CANNOT BLEED WHEN BLEEDING AND BLOOD HAS SHAPED SO MUCH OF MY LIFE ALREADY.

I GUESS I WOULD FEEL BEREFT.