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text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST
THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.
DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.
NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.
IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.
*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.
DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.
NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.
IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.
*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*
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OBVIOUSLY, I AM NOT OKAY. HISTORICALLY, I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN OKAY, MY LIFE IS A NEVERENDING CYCLE OF NOT BEING OKAY AND THIS PLACE HAS NOT IMPROVED THE NARRATIVE. THERE ARE NO TWISTS HERE: ONLY HORRIFIC CONFIRMATIONS OF A MISERABLE LIFE CONTINUING TO BE MISERABLE.
I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS NATURAL. I WILL OBLITERATE THIS WORLD'S NATURAL STATE IF IT MEANS SACRIFICING MY ENTIRE IDENTITY. TIME ITSELF CANNOT TAKE THAT FROM ME AND NEITHER CAN WHATEVER THIS SHITTY BIOLOGICAL REWIRING.
Re: text
[ This was a mistake. But there's something familiar about someone screaming about destroying something. It makes him feel more homesick. ]
The internet's not really a great place for blowing off steam. It can get kind of embarrassing. Maybe a nice jog?
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ALTHOUGH YOU ARE CORRECT IN THAT IT BECOMES HORRIFICALLY EMBARRASSING. FOR EXAMPLE, I AM ALREADY EMBARRASSED, BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT MY PAST ACTIONS EXCEPT TO LEARN FROM THEM. IN THIS CASE, I REFUSE THE LESSON AND DARE TO FLIP OFF THE ESTABLISHMENT OF CRINGE BEHAVIORALISM. NOT EVEN FUTURE ME CAN DESTROY MY OWN CAPACITY FOR IMMORTALIZING MY HUMILIATION FOR ALL TO WITNESS.
WHY IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY *JOG* AS A FORM OF RELEASING STEAM? THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE VILEST THING ANYONE COULD EVEN RECOMMEND. ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH?
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I started jogging as a way to work out, but it ended up being a great way to take my mind off things, or gather my thoughts. I do it when I can't sleep.
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THOUGH YOUR CONCERN FOR MY FUTURE FEELINGS IS BOTH FLATTERING AND STUPID.
I WILL STICK TO TYPING AT STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET. IT SEEMS FAR LESS AGONIZING AND I FEEL I WOULD LOOK MUCH MORE STUPID JOGGING RANDOMLY. WHAT ARE YOU JOGGING TOWARDS? IS SOMETHING CHASING YOU? IT MAKES NO SENSE WHY ONE WOULD RUN JUST TO RUN. WHAT A COMPLETE WASTE OF NATURAL SURVIVAL ENERGY. WHAT IF A MONSTER RANDOMLY APPEARED? YOU WOULD HAVE DEPLETED HALF YOUR ENERGY FROM YOUR DUMB JOGGING.
CAN YOU NOT SLEEP A LOT?
Re: text
It's to prepare for when something does chase me. I have to get stronger. Anyway, just jogging isn't going to deplete half my energy. It's too dangerous to run long distances around here.
Thanks for asking. Normally I sleep fine, but everyone has nights when they can't.
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IF YOU EVER WANT SOMEONE TO FIGHT, I WILL FIGHT YOU.
(Good lord, Midoriya would probably accidentally kill Karkat without even trying.)
WHY IS IT DANGEROUS? IS THIS PLACE INFESTED WITH MONSTERS? I HAVE HEARD UNUSUAL NOISES AT NIGHT BUT DID NOT KNOW IF THAT WAS SIMPLY THE NATIVE TONGUE OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE CITY.
YES, SLEEPING CAN BE FILLED WITH IMMEASURABLE TERROR. BUT SOME ARE MORE TERRORIZED THAN OTHERS. I WILL NOT OFFER YOU COMPANY WITH JOGGING, BUT IF YOU EVER NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU CANNOT SLEEP, YOU CAN MESSAGE ME. I AM NOCTURNAL AND WILL BE AWAKE AND I NEVER NOT HAVE COMMUNICATION DEVICES NEAR ME.
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[ He wouldn't hurt a fly~ But in all seriousness, he is trained to seek live capture. Plenty of his sparring partners have funny powers but only normal human durability. ]
Thank you for the offer. I really appreciate it. And you can message me too anytime. I'm keeping my Omni close in case of emergencies. Someone told me that things are difficult here, but that we can find people who will help.
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Wait you're not outside are you??? This place is definitely full of monsters!!
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IF THIS PLACE IS FULL OF MONSTERS THEN I WILL FIGHT THEM. WHY DON'T YOU FIGHT THEM TOO IF YOU ARE TRAINING TO GET STRONGER?
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[ What a relief. He would have rushed out to help at the slightest hint of danger. ]
I'm sure I'll be fighting more monsters anyway, whether I sign up for it or not. It's good to train in a more controlled setting. There's specific things I need to work on before I can use them effectively. I'm really glad you offered to spar with me. If I practice against a lot of different people, I'm bound to get stronger.
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(Karkat, that was really unoriginal even for you.)
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO WORK ON? THAT IS NOT A FALSE THEORY. DIVERSITY IS GOOD IN EVERYTHING BUT ESPECIALLY BATTLE.
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[ That's about as far as throwing shade as he'll go in normal conversation. ]
A lot. Basically, maxing my output with any move while keeping my mobility. But it's tricky. My Quirk is super strength, but if I don't control it, it can wreck my body.
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QUIRK. I SEE. WHERE I COME FROM, QUIRKS ARE JUST INCREDIBLY ANNOYING BUT SOCIALLY EXPECTED WAYS OF TYPING. SUPER STRENGTH SOUNDS LIKE A WAY BETTER QUIRK.
SO YOUR BODY CANNOT COMPLETELY SUSTAIN THE ENERGY YOU'RE PUMMELING THROUGH IT? HAVE YOU TRIED REINFORCING YOUR BONES WITH LITERAL STEEL? LIKE THAT ONE DUDE WITH THE CLAWS.
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Not sure what you mean by steel, but it isn't as simple as the plot of a vintage comic. Strong bones won't help if the ligaments can't withstand the strain. The good news is that working out and increasing my muscle strength will increase how much power I can use.
[ And yes, that working out also includes jogging. ]
I found a way to keep to a manageable percentage and adapted to more of a speed style than strength. It's what I can do for now. What about you?
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IT'S NOT ORDINARY MILK, BY THE WAY.
DO YOU LIFT THEN? SPEED IS GOOD. BETTER EVEN, IN MY OPINION.
WHAT ABOUT ME
OH GOD THE MILK
[ He doesn't mean it as a brag. He has to lift a lot. He can't afford to do anything in half measures if he wants to be half the hero he wants to be.
Midoriya supposes this not!friend drinks whey protein shakes. That's kind of like weird milk. ]
I wouldn't want to use up his supply. Where does he buy it? Does Trench even have that kind of thing?
What do you want to work on? You mentioned combat?
i am so sorry to remind u
HOW MUCH CAN YOU LIFT
HE'LL FUCKING LIVE. IF ANYTHING I WOULD PAY YOU SO I NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM DRINK ANOTHER GLASS OF MILK EVER AGAIN. ALSO IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO WATCH HIM FLOUNDER WITHOUT HIS PRECIOUS NIPPLE JUICE.
NO, HE GETS IT FROM HIS CUSTODIAN'S UDDERS. WHICH IS APPARENTLY WITH HIM IN THIS HELLHOLE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HE GOT TO GET HIS LUSUS BACK AND NOT ME. MAYBE HE WOULD SHARE IF YOU ASKED.
I COULD ALWAYS ASK TOO. BETTER YET, I COULD NOT ASK AND JUST GO TAKE SOME AND IF HE CATCHES ME, I'LL JUST GIVE HIM THE BIRD AND LEAVE.
OH. YEAH. I FIGHT WITH SICKLES. I WILL BE HONEST HERE, I AM NOT EXACTLY THE BEST FIGHTER OF MY TEAM, BUT I CAN HOLD MY OWN JUST FINE.
I only scream because I'm terrible
[ Custodian? As in, janitor? Doesn't he mean pet? Midoriya feels like there's something being lost in translation here. In any case, he should take matter into his own hands and try to prevent milk theft, even if it is just a prank between not!friends. ]
If he doesn't mind, could I message him and try to set up some kind of trade? Everyone barters here, and that sounds like a limited resource. I haven't got much. Well, I haven't got anything. But after doing some work maybe I'll have some canned goods stocked up.
Edged weapons are super dangerous, you have to avoid hitting your team all the time, so you must be really good. I remember my notes on my class's close-range fighters, so I know all our weaknesses. We'll work on those!
Re: I only scream because I'm terrible
(...Of all videos to link, Karkat, why?
The translation isn't completely off when you really think about it but also...)
THAT IS LIKELY FINE. HIS USERNAME IS CentaursTesticle. HE IS A COMPLETE FUCKSTICK SO WATCH OUT FOR THAT OVERBEARING PERSONALITY AND HORRIFIC TYPING QUIRK. YOU CAN JUST BRING HIM REALLY NICE TOWELS HE WOULD PROBABLY LOSE HIS ABSOLUTE SHIT (IN A GOOD WAY). OR LIKE A NICE STATUE OF A HORSE. OR A LITERAL HORSE.
WELL.
(Normally most people didn't go to give him compliments like this! What happens when you have a god-complex but you're also violently insecure!)
I AM PRETTY FUCKING GOOD, IT IS TRUE. I HAVE MURDERED A LOT OF THINGS WITH THEM. THEY ARE VERY GOOD AT MURDER. YES, MY WEAKNESS IS THAT I AM VULNERABLE TO BEING STABBED. IT'S SO LAME. IT SOUNDS LIKE WE WOULD MAKE AN EFFECTIVE UNIT.
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[ Just like vintage films, he knows they get... weird. ]
Towels huh... OK, thanks!
[ It's funny seeing someone as abrasive as Karkat call someone else overbearing, but Midoriya suspects that's part of being not!friends. ]
...Kind of the opposite of what he meant by being good enough to avoid killing things, but that's exactly the way his rival Bakugou speaks. Yelling about killing things and people. (He doesn't actually kill them.) Bakugou would definitely call people not!friends too. ]
I'll see what I can remember about neutralizing attackers with blades and write it down for us. I also need to find a place where we can safely practice. I've still got a lot of settling in to do, but I hope we can spar soon.
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YES, IT IS A VERY SPECIFIC FETISH OF HIS. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT EITHER.
YOU SOUND LIKE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING NERD. BUT...THAT SORT OF THING IS USUALLY ESSENTIAL FOR ANYONE ON A SUCCESSFUL TEAM. THIS MEANS YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE ON MINE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
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Well I don't really understand it. But I think that's sort of the point.
[ If this centaur guy is anything like his perverted classmate Mineta, Midoriya feels should prepare to hear things better left to an unfiltered image search. No one asked for this. ]
I
I'm going to pretend you never told me that, so he doesn't get mad at you for talking about his personal stuff on the internet.
[ He decides to stick to canned goods then. No towels. Your secret's safe, Centaur-san. ]
Call me Deku. It's my hero name.
[ It's also his screenname, because he made this account for hero work. ]
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HEAR THAT, EQUIUS, YOU WEIRD FUCKING BITCH?
ANYWAY, NICE TO MEET YOU DEKU.
(Sorry, Deku, that you have to experience literally any of this at all.)
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[ Is it nice? Is it really? He's not so sure. He's also not used to online conversations having any effect on him IRL, but here he is planning to meet both of these people in person at some point. ]
Is your not!friend also on your team?
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