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text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST
THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.
DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.
NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.
IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.
*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.
DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.
NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.
IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.
*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*
no subject
WHO FUCKING CARES. A THOUSAND MILES IS PRACTICALLY NOTHING IN TERMS OF THE UNIVERSE. SHARP SHOOTERS ARE A DIME A FUCKING DOZEN. WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SPACE COWBOY? WITH A LAME SPACE COWBOY HAT?
no subject
actually, i'm a paladin of voltron, defender of the universe and best sharpshooter in the war for universal freedom back home. but space cowboys are cool as hell too.
no subject
WOW, THAT SURE WAS A WHOLE BUNCH OF MEANINGLESS FUCKING NOTHING TO ME. I DON'T CARE, SPACEBOY. YOU SURE AS FUCK ONLY DEFENDED ONE UNIVERSE BECAUSE IT DEFINITELY WAS NOT MINE OR MY COMPANION'S. "LIMITED UNIVERSAL FREEDOM" MORE LIKE.
no subject
and well i would have if i knew how to get to it. we travelled to another universe once, but apparently doing that is bad. i think.
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YOUR INCOMPETENCE AT SUCCESSFUL, WIDESPREAD SPACE TRAVEL DOES NOT IMPRESS ME. IT IS ONLY BAD IF YOU FUCKING SUCK AT IT. WHICH APPARENTLY YOU DO! HAHA!
no subject
whoever said i was trying to impress you? like i care what you think, all you know how to do it yell on the internet. have YOU ever saved an entire universe?
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YOU. MOST PEOPLE WHO DISCUSS THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE USUALLY DOING IT TO IMPRESS SOMEONE OR LIE ABOUT THEIR INSECURITIES. YOU LITERALLY DO NOT EVEN KNOW ME.
YES? BITCH I CREATED ONE. TWO, EVEN. AND I KILLED JUST AS MANY. WOW SO FUCKING SPECIAL.
no subject
kinda sounds like you're projecting. maybe i'm just proud of my accomplishments and making conversation
and yeah, i'd totally call that special. and cool. how'd you do something that wild?
no subject
THAT IS PROBABLY HALF TRUE. I AM GUILTY OF PROJECTION FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL RIGHT WELL. THEN I *GUESS* I WILL ADMIT THAT WITH A RESUME LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO HAVE YOU ON A TEAM OF SORTS. YOU DO NOT SOUND LIKE A TOTAL BURDEN.
WHAT
WAIT ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME I CANNOT TELL
I PLAYED A VIDEO GAME WITH SOME FRIENDS AND THE REWARD FOR WINNING WAS THAT WE WOUND UP MAKING A LITERAL UNIVERSE. THEN AFTER ALL THAT SHIT, I ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED THE UNIVERSE UP, AND ALL THIS OTHER SHIT HAPPENED, BUT IT WOUND UP OKAY. I MEAN NOT ACTUALLY OKAY. HUMANITY WAS COMPLETELY OBLITERATED FROM EXISTENCE EXCEPT FOR LIKE A GROUP OF PEOPLE BUT WE DID OUR BEST WITH THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.
no subject
gotta say i wasn't expecting that kind of honesty. you're kind of all over the place, you know that?
and... thanks?
i wasn't making fun of you, that sounds like stuff out of the wildest science fiction comic book ever. so there's humans where you're from? how come they got obliterated but not your people?
no subject
I MAY HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT ONCE OR TWICE BEFORE IN MY LIFE, YES.
NO, MY PEOPLE WERE ALSO OBLITERATED. THAT HAPPENED WHEN WE STARTED THE GAME. SEE, YOU PLAY THE GAME, IT DESTROYS YOUR UNIVERSE AND YOU HAD A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME TO GET INTO THE ACTUAL GAME IF YOU WANTED TO LIVE, AND THEN IF YOU WIN, YOU GET TO CREATE A NEW UNIVERSE.
no subject
okay, i guess that makes sense if you're on every drug in existence.
so the new universe came with more humans and trolls and whatever else? and not just a whole new set of species?
how did you make sure it was giving you what you wanted and what kinda psycho makes a video game so powerful it can destroy and make whole universes?
no subject
IT'S REALLY COMPLICATED. LIKE SO COMPLICATED IT'S ANNOYING AND BORDERLINE TORTURE. WE DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE AN EXPLICIT SAY IN WHAT THE NEW UNIVERSE WAS LIKE. THE HUMANS THING JUST HAPPENEd ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER DAINTY LITTLE CREATURES ON EARTH. IT WASN'T EVER REALLY ABOUT "WHAT" WE WANTED. WE WERE A BUNCH OF DIPSHIT KIDS PLAYING A GAME NONE OF US SHOULD HAVE BEEN PLAYING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I ACTUALLY WAS PARTLY IN THE PROCESS OF WORKING ON MAKING NEW TROLLS WITH MY FRIENDS.
WE DO NOT KNOW WHO "MADE" THE GAME. IT WAS DISCOVERED IN SOME RUINS. I BELIEVE WHERE I COME FROM THE GAME MAY EXIST AS A UNIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENSURING THE RECREATION OF UNIVERSES THROUGH THE DESTRUCTION OF OTHERS. IN OTHER WORDS, I THINK I'M JUST PART OF ONE GIANT PARADOXICAL FUCKERY.
OR WAS, I GUESS, BEFORE SHOWING UP HERE.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I REALLY DO SOUND LIKE I AM ON EVERY DRUG IN EXISTENCE.
no subject
and uh, i'm not a scientist but don't you need more than a small group of friends to make more of anything? or is inbreeding just a thing for your people?
yeah, all that just sounds like something a guy on acid wrote up on a bender
no subject
WE WERE USING GENETIC CLONING AND A FORM OF BREEDING AND TIME PARADOX. IT'S ECTOBIOLOGY AND IT'S AS ANNOYING AS IT SOUNDS. MY PEOPLE ARE REPRODUCED BY THE MASS COLLECTION OF OUR GENETIC MATERIAL. WE DON'T HAVE BLOOD FAMILIES AS HUMANS DO. WE ARE A LOT MORE LIKE INSECTS.
IT IS PROBABLY EVEN WORSE THAN THAT IF WE ARE BEING GENEROUS.
no subject
dude, the only part of that i understood was the insect thing. does that mean you have a hard shell and like a zillion eyes?
no subject
YES. I HAVE A ZILLION FUCKING EYES. APPROXIMATELY ONE ZILLION. AND ONE HUNDRED LEGS THAT I TYPE WITH INDIVIDUALLY WHICH IS HOW I CAN TYPE SO FAST.
no subject
how does he have billiard balls for EYES? how does that even work??
dude, your head must be huge then
which i guess explains a lot
no subject
IT IS MASSIVE. MY ENTIRE BODY IS SO BIG, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. I CAN BARELY FIT INSIDE A NORMAL ROOM BECAUSE I AM SO IMPRESSIVELY MASSIVE.
no subject
okay, now that's just starting to sound like bragging. you can't be THAT massive, i'd have noticed you around town by now.
no subject
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HOW DOES THAT WORK BIOLOGICALLY"? CAN YOUR PUNY BRAIN REALLY NOT WRAP AROUND A MORE UNUSUAL SPECIES LIKE THAT?
OKAY, I AM NOT THAT MASSIVE, BUT I DO HAVE A VERY IMPRESSIVE PHYSIQUE THAT WOULD TERRIFY ANYONE.
no subject
of course i can wrap my head around other species, i've met hundreds! but billiard balls aren't organic man! how does he see out of them? unless he's blind?
and i guess i'll let you have that one, you earned it
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THANKS, I DEFINITELY DID.
no subject