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karkat vantas ([personal profile] klawful) wrote in [community profile] deernet2021-11-02 03:08 am

Text | un: carcinoGeneticist | Per Romance

AS SOME PERSONAL ADVICE, SINCE APPARENTLY THIS PLACE IS ABSOLUTELY *INFESTED* WITH HUMANS, I NEED TO INFORM THE MAJORITY OF YOU HOW HUMILIATINGLY SIMPLIFIED YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF ROMANCE IS.

LIKE, SERIOUSLY, IT'S EMBARRASSING, AND SEEING CONSTANT OBLIVIOUS ATTITUDES ABOUT PERFECTLY HEALTHY SOCIAL DYNAMICS MAKES ME WANT TO BE SHOT DIRECTLY INTO EVERY SUN THAT HAS EVER EXISTED AT THE SAME TIME. I SWEAR HALF OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ALONE AND IT WILL BE ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT BECAUSE HUMANS ARE SO GODDAMN INCOMPETENT AT THEIR OWN EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A COLLECTIVE SPECIES MORE HELLBENT ON SELF-DESTRUCTION BASED ON NEGLECTING THEIR OWN NATURAL FEELINGS.

I AM AWARE THAT I AM PROBABLY EXTENSIVELY INSULTING YOU NOW INSTEAD OF HELPING YOU. ALL RIGHT, I NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE POINT BEFORE HALF OF YOU HAVE GLAZED OVER. IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE FUNCTIONING BRAIN CELLS, REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR IN AN EXTREMELY SHORT TEXT. LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

FIRST LESSON: YOU HAVE YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A *REASON*. I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU ALL INSIST ON BURYING EVERY SINGLE NATURAL INSTINCT YOU HAVE LIKE IT'S A HOT PIECE OF SHIT OF SHAME YOU JUST SQUATTED OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

THE GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS: IF YOUR EMOTIONS FOCUS ON BETTERING YOURSELF, THEY ARE GOOD. IF THEY SERVE TO KEEP SOMEONE ELSE FROM BETTERING THEMSELVES, THEY ARE BAD.

IN MY CULTURE, THE IDEAL ROMANCE INVOLVES BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF POSSIBLE THROUGH YOUR CONNECTIONS TO OTHERS. IN A PERFECT WORLD, YOU HELP YOUR PARTNERS AS MUCH AS THEY HELP YOU AND IT BECOMES THIS BEAUTIFUL SYMBIOTIC SITUATION WHERE EVERYONE CAN MUTUALLY BENEFIT FROM THEIR PERSONAL DYNAMICS.

WHICH LEADS ME TO THE SECOND LESSON: I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHY HUMANS HAVE THIS EXTREMELY NARROW, SPECIFIC IDEA OF ROMANCE. THERE IS A MULTITUDE OF WAYS TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE. THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS TO LOVE PEOPLE, SO WHY REFUSE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS YOU FOCUS ON? WHY PUT ONE RELATIONSHIP ON A PEDESTAL AND LET ALL YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS SUFFER BECAUSE OF IT? THAT ISN'T HEALTHY NO MATTER WHICH QUADRANT YOUR CULTURE IS OBSESSED WITH.

THIRD LESSON: WHERE I COME FROM, WE HAVE ROMANTIC QUADRANTS. LEARN THEM AND BENEFIT FROM THEIR EXISTENCE. YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME AT HOW MUCH THEY WILL DRASTICALLY IMPROVE YOUR SHITTY LIFE AND HOW MUCH SENSE THEY WILL MAKE TO YOUR VARIOUS RELATIONSHIPS:

MATESPRITSHIP: THE FLUSHED QUADRANT IS PROBABLY THE CLOSEST THING TO "TRADITIONAL" HUMAN LOVE. THIS IS AN INDIVIDUAL WHO YOU HAVE STRONG POSITIVE EMOTIONS TOWARDS THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH PLEASURABLE EXPERIENCES BOTH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY (NOT TO GET TOO NC-17 HERE). THIS IS YOUR MATESPRIT.

MOIRALLEGIANCE: THE PALE QUADRANT IS ALSO A POSITIVE DYNAMIC, HOWEVER, THIS RELATIONSHIP TYPICALLY FOCUSES ON BEING THERE TO PROVIDE ABSOLUTE AND COMPLETE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TO YOUR PARTNER. IT INVOLVES BEING ABLE TO RECOGNIZE THEIR FLAWS, HELP THEM BE THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES, AND THEM TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU. YOU CALM THEM DOWN WHEN THEY ARE WORKED UP, YOU KEEP THEM SAFE FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. THIS IS YOUR MOIRAIL OR PALEMATE.

KISMESISSITUDE: THE BLACK QUADRANT IS RELIANT ON PURELY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. THIS IS ABOUT THE HATRED AND ANIMOSITY YOU FEEL TOWARDS ANOTHER. THE KEY HERE IS THAT THIS IS EXTREMELY MUTUAL, WELL-BALANCED, HEALTHY HATRED. MEANING YOU ARE ACTUAL EQUALS IN TERMS OF STRENGTH OR INTELLECTUALITY OR SOMETHING. THE POINT IS *NOT* TO KILL OR DEFEAT YOUR KISMESIS, BUT TO CONSTANTLY CHALLENGE EACH OTHER INTO A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELVES THROUGH RIVALRY. ALSO YOU PROBABLY WANT TO FUCK THEM. SORRY. THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES. IT IS EXTREMELY COMMON WHERE I COME FROM FOR THE BLACK AND FLUSHED QUADRANTS TO CONTINUALLY SWITCH. THEY ARE AS EQUALLY ESSENTIAL TO YOUR WELL-BEING SINCE THEY KEEP YOU ON YOUR FUCKING TOES AND RESPECT YOU IN WAYS THE OTHER QUADRANTS MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND.

THIS RELATIONSHIP IS QUITE TUMULTUOUS. AND IT CAN BE VERY UNHEALTHY IF THINGS ARE UNBALANCED BETWEEN THE TWO WHICH IS BASICALLY WHY WE HAVE...

AUSPISTICISM: THE ASHEN QUADRANT. THIS IS LESS OF A ROMANTIC QUADRANT BUT RATHER A DEALING OF ROMANCE. THIS IS A WILLING THIRD PARTY STEPPING IN TO WILLINGLY HELP FACILITATE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN OTHERS. THIS IS CRUCIAL IN OUR SOCIETY TO ENSURE ALL OF YOUR PARTNERS AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE ACTUALLY HEALTHY AND FUNCTIONING. THE AUSPISTICE IS NOT NECESSARILY ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED IN THE OTHER PARTIES, BUT IT ISN'T UNCOMMON TO SEE AN AUSPISTICE WHO IS LONGING FOR ONE OF THE PARTIES AND IS HOPING THE ASHEN QUADRANT MIGHT GIVE THEM A LEVERAGE TO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.


AND THAT IS THE SHORT AND SWEET VERSION OF IT. YES, IT IS WILDLY COMPLEX AND YES HEARTBREAK IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FROTHING AT THE BRIM IN OUR CULTURE. QUADRANT VACILLATION IS A RAMPANT PROBLEM THAT MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO SORT OUT WHAT QUADRANT FITS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEST. IT IS PERFECTLY NATURAL TO FEEL AND IT IS FINE IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER WHO FITS ALL QUADRANTS BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY CLARIFY THAT KIND OF THING SO YOU CAN BOTH BE ON THE SAME PAGE.

I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN BEING THE TOWN AUSPISTICE, BY THE WAY. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS. BUT AS A RULE, I CARE ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL AND IT IS SINCERE TORTURE TO THINK ABOUT HOW MANY IDIOTS ARE WALKING AROUND DENYING THEIR OWN FEELINGS. IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

WHICH I HAVE ALREADY DONE SO MANY TIMES NOW.

BUT YES I WILL OPEN THE FLOOR TO GENERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PROBABLE ROMANTIC AWAKENINGS THIS POST WILL NO DOUBT AROUSE. THERE IS NO SHAME IN REALIZING YOU HAVE HAD A TOTAL HATE-BONER FOR SOMEONE FOR TEN YEARS AND ARE PROBABLY IN SOME KIND OF LOVE WITH THEM. IDIOT.

OKAY BEFORE I WRITE ANOTHER SHORT ESSAY, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW.

EDIT BY FUTURE CARCINOGENETICIST @ 3:25 AM

WOW, I AM SO FUCKING INEPT AT THIS SOMEONE REVOKED MY FUCKING ROMANCE GURU CARD THAT I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE.

I FORGOT THE CARDINAL LESSON FOR HUMANITY BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE THIS WILD FUCKING OBSESSION WITH GENDER: YOU ARE NOT "BROKEN" OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER KIND OF BRAINWASHING YOUR KIND HAS PUT YOU THROUGH...IF YOU LIKE THE SAME GENDER YOU IDENTIFY AS. HOLY FUCK. OR MULTIPLE GENDERS. OR NO GENDERS. ATTRACTION IS A GODDAMN SPECTRUM AND WE FEEL IT AS SUCH FOR A REASON. BECAUSE! IT'S! MOTHERFUCKING NATURAL! IF YOU DON'T FEEl ATTRACTION LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT YOU NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. IF YOU'RE HORNED UP, IT'S FUCKING FINE AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER ABOUT IT. JEGUS.

OKAY NOW I'M DONE.
wannasmash: "Oh no, huh?!" (oh no huh)

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-04 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
I know. It's like their individuality in a way. Each person I meet is very different. Maybe it's because having friends is kind of new to me that I don't tend to compare them to others. I didn't really have them when I was younger.

[ Then Karkat has to follow it up with that. ]

Karkat-san that's really embarrassing. (;ಠ_ಠ)
I
I can't even imagine dating anyone. What would I even do?


[ Probably panic and die. ]

I'm not what people picture when they think of dating material. I thought this wouldn't be a problem for me. But you say that a date is just spending time with someone. What if I accidentally go on a date with someone??? Is that possible?????
wannasmash: "Right yes absolutely nothing suspicious here." (smile nervous riiight)

cw: mention of childhood bullying

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-05 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry you were stuck, but that view sounds really nice.

[ Takes a nerd to know one; Midoriya thinks Karkat enjoying a breathtaking view of space with his boyfriend is very sweet too. ]

Kind of yes to both, in a way. [ Midoriya, don't just... agree... ] My Quirk manifested extremely late. Everyone had one but me. Being Quirkless where I'm from means you get made fun of. I don't have great people skills. It doesn't affect the friendships I have, but sometimes I just freeze up. Some people are really friendly and outgoing and I'm still getting used to meeting people like them.

[ Friendly and outgoing and blessed with boobs good looks. He gets flustered if they enter his personal space. ]

Oh no, that's really embarrassing!!! I never really thought about that. Probably because I wouldn't assume anything.
wannasmash: sad puppy (worried concerning future)

Re: cw: mention of childhood bullying now feat. discrimination -> private

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-05 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ He can't tell Karkat that he wasn't just a late bloomer, but in fact truly born Quirkless. It's part of the secret of One For All. If it got out that he received his Quirk or could give his Quirk to someone else, it would endanger his life and those around him. But he can empathize, more than Karkat knows. All thoughts of asking Karkat for tips on how to talk to people, or even his own struggles, fly out of his head. ]

Your own safety? I'm so sorry. If you ever feel unsafe here too, please call me! I haven't been here long enough to know if Trench has the same kinds of problems with people who are different, but now that's two worlds I know of that do. The advent of Quirks in my world changed what it means to be a human, and what it looks like, but we're all still people.

[ He thinks of people born with mutant-type Quirks, including some of his own classmates, who face discrimination on sight. It's kind of hard to hide a bird head or six arms. ]

Is it something that can be seen? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want to know ahead of time the best way to ensure your safety.

[ It's not a side of himself Midoriya often sees, because he never had the power to defend anyone until this year, but if someone seriously hurt a friend of his, he would turn feral as well. ]
wannasmash: Awwww (smile sad)

Re: cw: mention of childhood bullying now feat. discrimination -> private

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-07 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ Lots of things about Midoriya are embarrassing, including how far he will go for total strangers. ]

Every one of your kind? We're pretty divided too if I'm being honest. It's just that I'd like us not to be.

The only other kind of person actually from this world is human, so I think you'll be OK there. I had it easier in a way. Being Quirkless doesn't show. But everyone in my neighborhood and at school knew anyway.

I wasn't trying to be... I told you I wasn't great at talking to people. It's just that I can't take anything bad happening to someone I know.


[ Or... anyone... really... ]
wannasmash: "What do you mean?" (huh)

Re: cw: mention of childhood bullying now feat. discrimination -> private

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-09 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Like Sleeper blood? There's a little of that here too. I got a few funny looks from Hunters when I said I was a Warmblood. I had to explain that I could still help with my Quirk instead. Humans in my world don't have different blood colors, but I guess you know about humans already.

It's pretty common back home to ask what someone's Quirk is. So, when I couldn't show them anything... And the same people knew me as Quirkless for a long time. I was just as surprised as anyone else when mine appeared late.

I've always been that way. Someone told me that's what makes a true hero. I had never really thought about it before. That was the first time someone ever praised me for it.
wannasmash: You forgot to set the Ben Nye... (worried looking)

Re: cw: mention of childhood bullying now feat. discrimination -> private

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-12 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
That's really awful. Even our history books don't like to talk about that stuff, and we're supposed to have moved past that.

I know you had to hide it, but... It's also kind of like saying that it's OK not to constantly tell people your blood color. You could have just picked another one, but you didn't. I think that's pretty cool of you.
wannasmash: Awwww (smile sad)

Re: cw: mention of childhood bullying now feat. discrimination -> private

[personal profile] wannasmash 2021-11-15 08:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ He didn't think it would be the first time someone told Karkat that. It just seemed natural to say what he thought. It's not the first time Midoriya has praised someone's Quirk when they were always told it was bad. Now he gets to praise a quirk linked to Karkat's struggle for survival.

And spite. Lots of spite. ]

Of course. You don't have to thank me, I didn't do anything special. And you don't have to say anything.