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un: timaeusTestified | text | Birthday Boy

Turning 21 has been a completely underrated experience. I was expecting the blackout and loss of time. Even the warping to a new place isn't out of the realm of estimated probability.

But being genetically altered is a plot twist. I assume it is so we can fuck the monsters.

I call dibs on the raven dude.

cw: looots of kink/fetish/nsfw jokes/conversation going on in this here post.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, you DIDN'T date, there is absolutely nothing stopping you now. Literally nothing, and don't try to pull the Maul card because we both know he'd agree with me that you absolutely can date. [Oh honey, that's not how preferences work, Dirk is as gay as Usagi is Lunarian.

If she knew WHY he hated the nickname, she would actually probably change it. Buuuut she doesn't, so.] And for you? That's like lifelong friendship.

Fine, then this will be suffering, which means you should do it even more since you're apparently into that.

Don't take my brother's side. Have you two been conspiring? [When he couldn't defend himself when it came to the dating option, he'd do as Maul did and shift topics entirely! Savage just assumed everyone was bisexual or pansexual.

Savage made a hissing sound like an angry cat. What a burn, Usagi.] I don't have friends. [Take that as a rebuttal.]

I will make him suffer when I kick him in the throat. Then everyone involved will suffer.

...........................

SOOOOOOO what I'm hearing is you WILL go on a date, since you just said you want him to suffer too.

[Savage growled so loudly. And he considered asking Brutal to find and push her through wall. It was so tempting.]

I hate you. [It's not a 'no', but it isn't a 'yes' either.]

[She waves a dismissive hand he can't see.]

Yes yes, so you say... often. So I'm thinking we do something other than your usual black on top of black for the date!

You mean my armour?

Yes? Absolutely. Don't pretend you don't have other clothes. Even Maul has more than one outfit... admittedly I BOUGHT almost all of those outfits, but still.

[He definitely did not have other clothes. Okay, maybe a pair of pants for when he was letting his armour dry from washing.]

I have one outfit. And I'm not going on a date.

[SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT, SAVAGE? SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HER SHOPPING PLANS.]

Fine, I'll take you shopping, I don't mind! I'm used to taking Maul! Ooooh maybe I can get you a nice vest like I did for him. Or something in leather! You'd look nice in leather. Black, I know, but we'll do color accents!

Do you want yellow or orange accents? Honestly, I think we should go with complementary colors with your skin tone and do a nice blue. We can do that with you where we can't with Maul, if we do it with Maul, he ends up looking like he's ready for Christmas all year round. BUT a nice deep blue would look so nice on you!

[Sorry Usagi, Savage was sitting looking at his omni with a dawning horror that she might actually drag him shopping, and he wasn't certain what sort of area in the house he could legitimately hide in to avoid her. He also wasn't convinced his brother wouldn't join in if Maul saw this opportunity.

So he'll sit in silence experiencing one of those moments right before he was meant to head into a deadly battle.]

I don't want... shopping.

Hmm? Oh, well, that's fine, I already know your sizes so I can just buy stuff and bring it home for you to try on! I do that for Maul all the time. What, you think he willingly came with me to get a suit? [Pfft.]

How could you possibly know my size? [He considered himself one of the tallest people in this place.]

...I'm still confused why my brother lets you dress him at all.

You're brother. Duh.

You won't be once I bring home some fabulous options for you for your date.

He betrayed me!

[Of course Maul would take her side! His brother had been making one too many quiet observations and comments about making certain he was happy!]

I'm fine dressed as I am. I've dressed in far less.

[Too easy. Usagi grins.]

Oh my~ Well, that's okay, Savvy-kun, if you feel like you want to take that step with Dirk-san already on the first date, there's nothing wrong with that. Just make sure he does too.

[It took him a moment. Congratulations, he was back to growling almost constantly.]

I hate you. Things were far more peaceful without you meddling.

Love you too, Savvy-kun.

That's literally not possible. You hated me a month ago.

Ooooh ho ho no no no. [She laughs.] No, Savage, trust me when I say, I did not hate you.

[It may be a bit of a cliche, but if she hated him, he'd be dead.]

I was angry with you, certainly. But not hate.

Fine. You were angry with me a month ago, and it was quieter in my life for that.

[Still, he did need people like her to push him around. If he had people like her around more often, he might even recognized she was doing this to help not harm or annoy him.]

Probably way less fun, though.

Oh, wait, you hate fun. I forgot.

Oh well, I'll forget that again, honestly.

How are you the worst but still cheerful about it?

It's a gift.

It sounds like a curse.

Only to those I use it on~

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