Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[The video starts off with Maul smiling which everyone who has been in Trench for more than a few months will realize is never a good sign. Fortunately, he's not here to terrorize everyone, just be a troll and gadfly to his mate.]

Hello everyone. Since I'm sure he'd never tell you himself, I'm here to inform you that Reaper has just turned sixty. That's right, he's officially OLD. There's nothing for him but going downhill now, becoming more decrepit and decaying and plodding along until he just drops dead one day or I mercifully smother him with a pillow. [He's still got that wicked grin on his face but he's managed not to laugh so far.] I suggest you all send him birthday wishes, preferably from a safe distance away or over the Omni since otherwise there is a very good chance he'll try to blow a hole through you with one of his shotguns.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stay one step ahead of him so he can't find me and do the same. [He can't contain himself any longer and there's a cackle of delight as he turns the video off.]

Comments

[azurestar]

[Lance snerks and turns the audio back on, trying very hard not to do it again. But he does do it again. And again.]

You think he can keep up with- [interrupted by a giggle fit that he chokes on a bit and continues.] -with that bad hip?

[He's drunk laughing all over the place now and adds:] He busted it cuz he got one foot caught in the grave!

[Yes, that is the sound of him making a 'badum-tsh' wit his hands on a table.]

[survivalthroughhate]

[He really shouldn't be on the same page as a person he hates with such a burning passion as Lance but this was so perfectly timed Maul can't help but find it amusing. Anything to dunk on Reaper right now has his full approval.]

Just stay out of his way long enough and-- [Maul's voice quivers as he tries to stifle another laugh.] --he'll just drop dead of old age before he ever ends up finding you.

[That's Maul's plan right now to avoid Reaper's wrath.]

[azurestar]

[If Lance were sober right now, he'd probably have taken a moment to go 'what the fuck?' Is this real life? Are they actually getting along by utterly destroying Reaper with dying of old age jokes??

But he's trashed, so that incredulous train of thought gets buried under his laughter at that return slam.] Not a bad idea— [Snicker.] But he should really lighten up and smile more while he still has teeth!

[survivalthroughhate]

I think senility is soon to be setting in with him if it hasn't already. He'll forget where he's going just walking down the street even if he intends to kill both of us. That's what is going to save us from death.

[Then he collapses again into a chair, tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Really, he hasn't laughed like this in literal years. He's given up trying to contain it at all. He tries to take in a breath, barely able to believe he's able to get along with someone he sees as an enemy this well.]

[azurestar]

[There's the sound of movement and a glass clinking on a surface, like he's clinking glasses with and toasting someone…]

Weeeell, then happy birthday to the old bastard who's seen it all, done it all, and doesn’t remember any of it.

[survivalthroughhate]

He's going to murder us both for this.

[Yep, Maul feels can already hear Reaper picking up his shotguns from where he's at right now.]

I, for one, intend to go out laughing.

[He's finally managed to stop by this point though the threat of him losing control again is high.]

You're not nearly as vile as you are most of the time.

[azurestar]

[Lance shrugs and snort-laughs.] At least he'll kill you softly. With his… song?

[He giggles at his own reference he is well aware that Maul likely doesn't understand. Then he rolls his eyes and makes a pshaw sound.]

This is me most of the time. [Another snort-giggle.] You'll find I'm super hilarious and lovable when people aren't trying to kill me. Funny how that works, huh.