deernet | video; UN: TripleJ

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video; UN: TripleJ

[The hair. Oh dear god, the hair. Kyle's recognizable mass of curls has been gelled within an inch of its life and sculpted into a wavy helmet. And where are his sleeves?!]

Yo Trench, what up what up, it's ya boy Kyley-B!

So's I need a little help here - anybody know a place in town where you can get some dope-ass ink? Because, you know, if you look up 'too much swag' in the dictionary, there'll be a great big picture of my face, and attitude like that deserves the best, you know what I'm sayin'?

Help a guy out here.

PEACE!

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Aw, of course, he didn't wanna make you feel weird! But c'mon. Old guy with a hot young dude? No way he'd have said no to you. And he must have had YEARS of pent up sexual energy!

[Kyle leans on the counter, looking at Karkat.]

Karkat Vantas, I will never not want to be witchu. You're the love of my freakin life.

(.....Now it's all he can think about.) I knew I should have just done it. Oh my God.

(Okay. Note to self. If he runs into that version of Kyle again, mount him. Stat.

He looks up at Kyle and, unsurprisingly, begins to blush.)

Really? I'm just um. I mean. You're much more outgoing than me like this. It doesn't bother you? I still want to be compatible for you.

(He's genuinely concerned here. Like a dork.)

Sorry, boo.

[He moves to reach over and gently pet Karkat's hair.]

Doesn't bother me one bit. I love every version of you. Yo, I learned somethin with all this shedding: there really is a core to a person. And I see yours. That's the part I love most.

It's okay. (He brightens.) I can make up for it by sleeping with you.

(The pet is soothing and Karkat lets out the smallest purr. Half out of comfort from the touch, but half from Kyle's words. They made him relax and he moves to grab Kyle's hand so he could kiss his palm.)

Okay. The feeling is mutual. You're obnoxious as fuck like this but...(There's still the obvious part of Kyle that was caring. He smiles against Kyle's hand. Yes, he's just sitting there cuddling his boyfriend's hand.)

I love you. Okay. (Deep breath.) If you really want a modification, I'll support it. I just wanted to make sure it was something you genuinely wanted is all. Body mods aren't too common where I come from. I think I was a bit culture shocked.

Oh, you better. My obnoxious self gonna plow your sweet troll pussy.

[He loves the cuddling, it's adorable.]

Fuck, you're so cute.

Awww, you're just makin sure I think things through. And if you'd hate seein your name as a tramp stamp every day, I respect that.

DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!

(He is absolutely screeching. Oh my God! This Kyle was definitely going to make him blush way more than the others and that was saying something.)

I don't hate the idea of it. It's just- it was shocking. (He rubs at his face, sighing.) If you want some part of me tattooed on you then get like...you know. The signless symbol or something.

Okay, okay, sorry.

...sweet troll nook? [He's trying!]

I thought of that, actually. But then I was like, hey. That's really special to YOU.

You're so disgusting. (He doesn't say no though.)

It's okay. It's a symbol meant to be embraced by people who believe in it.

And you love it.

Whoa. For serious?

Yeah, I do. (Begrudgingly. He sighs, cramming a few crickets down his gullet.)

Yes. I mean, Dave used to wear my symbol sometimes. (It was...deeply flattering, to say the least.) It was nice. I'd wear his. If you had one, I'd wear yours too.

[Kyle grins wolfishly.]

I'd do that in a heartbeat, dude. But if I get your symbol, your sigil? I ain't gonna put it on my ass. That shit goes over my heart.

Oh my God.

(He drops his face down onto the counter and groans loudly.)

I hate that I'm kind of swooning over this now. Goddamn it. I fucking love you. And I hate you. So much.

I know. Feelin is mutual.

[He steals a cricket and munches on it.] You want dessert?

Yes, please.

(He hopes it is not an edible kind of dessert Kyle is talking about.)

[Kyle gets up and moves to Karkat's side. He leans in and grabs him, hoisting him up into his arms. Laughing, he runs with him towards Karkat's bed.]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

OH MY GOD-! (Naturally, he screams his head off. Yet he clings to him and doesn't really bother to fight him off. Why would he ever.)

God, you are so fucking obnoxious like this.

[Kyle just laughs more and dumps Karkat onto the bed without ceremony. He stands there, grinning as he pulls his rather unseasonable t-shit off. It's still Kyle - he's not jacked. But there in undeniably more muscle definition on him now.]

Gonna SMASH that troll hole!

Not if you're going to put it like that you're not! No holes will be smashed in the vicinity!

(This was the worst thing ever. He proceeds to grab the giant stuffed crab Kyle made him and just really whips it at Kyle with all his strength.

It's TRUE LOVE.)

[The crab hits Kyle in the face and he stumbles, cackling. Then he throws himself onto the bed and grabs Karkat, not remotely gentle at all. No, he hops on him and tries to wrestle him into submission.]

Kyyyyle! (Karkat screeches some more and okay, listen, the new muscle is pretty hot. The aggression thing is pretty hot. He liked when they wrestled. He fights back with vigor because that's what they do. He wanted to see how rough this version of Kyle really was, so, naturally, he aims a punch for his face. He loves you so much, Kyle.)

[The punch lands. Kyle, undeterred, punches Karkat in the ribs in return. He straddles him, trying to pin his arms.]

Oh yeah?! Oh yeah you wanna freakin go?! Come on, you hit like my grandma!

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video; UN: TripleJ

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CW: adult language

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CW: adult language

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cw: nsfw talk also ew no

cw: nsfw talk also ew no im Laughing So Hard

cw: nsfw

cw: nsfw w some consensual violence

cw: nsfw w some consensual violence