( accidental omni post )

[jedies]

Obi-Wan Kenobi (38) Looking for something with no strings attached? Tired of the awkward fumbling of a person who doesn't know what they're doing? Seeking out an attentive lover who gives you all the time and energy you deserve for a lovely evening? Then look no further than Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. General of the Republic. Known galaxy-wide as the Negotiator, he will see to your satisfaction

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Comments

[azurestar]

I've got four older siblings, man. I trust no one when it comes to stuff like this.

[jedies]

I had a whole Temple of those.

Still, it's not like I'm untrustworthy.

[azurestar]

Exactly what a guy messing with me would say.

[jedies]

Paranoia is very unhealthy.

[azurestar]

Not when it's saved my life like… [he counts on his fingers] at least ten times.

[jedies]

And yet, it hasn't saved you from this conversation.

[azurestar]

…So you're admitting you're messing with me?

[jedies]

Messing with you?

That would imply effort on my behalf.

[azurestar]

[He sighs heavily.] Alright, fine. I give up.

So you really don't get what I was asking?

[jedies]

Not in its entirety.

[azurestar]

[SIGH.]

If you're a negotiator, you're like negotiating to release hostages and for like other people to give you what you want in a deal, right?

[jedies]

That is part of it, yes.

[azurestar]

Alright, so if you're negotiating for someone's "pleasure" then who are you negotiating with? Who's holding their pleasure hostage? Why? And wouldn't someone be totally into getting pleasured? Why is negotiating even necessary? I have questions, man!

[jedies]

[ ah. ]

I don't think you're supposed to read that much into it. I think the idea is simply that the pleasure should be mutual and that aspect is ensured. I certainly don't do that much negotiating in the bedroom.

[azurestar]

…Well that was anticlimactic.

[jedies]

That's on you for reading this much into it. Have you never seen a dating profile before?

[azurestar]

I've seen plenty, even had one made for me back in the dream.

[jedies]

Then it must be the lack of dates.

[azurestar]

[OFFENDED GASP.]

Hey! I've gotten TONS of dates!

[jedies]

Then you'd think you'd know how to interpret a dating profile.

[azurestar]

Well… maybe I don't need a dating profile to get them.

[jedies]

If that were true, it wouldn't be a "maybe", would it?

[azurestar]

That's- that's just a turn of phrase!

[jedies]

Of course it is.

[azurestar]

It is!