Luz Noceda (
imaglyphwitch) wrote in
deernet2022-05-19 06:51 am
Video UN: glyphywitchy [Back dated to May 12]
[It's been a few days since dying, and Luz had unfortunately kept this to herself. If you haven't been able to tell, this girl has been having a pretty rough month, and it didn't seem to be getting better. She lurched her device to focus, and, though coughing, was looking directly into the camera].
So. Uh. Died. First time, ha ha, not a fun experience. Kinda looking for some company, here or just on this thing otherwise. I should probably be getting rest, yes, but staring up at the ceiling regretting stuff and hating yourself can only keep out the quiet for so long.
Also, been out of the loop a bit. Someone update me on things?
[Action]

Luz was pretty sure that she was going to get an earful from people in the house, but ESPECIALLY from Ahiru, who had very much not wanted her to go on the mission. Luz had thought she could handle it and had handled somewhat similar situations before. Now, though, since they'd talked about it before, Luz knew it looked even WORSE.
Add the whole mix of self-loathing for being too weak to avoid death and the ever-present gloom of missing Fern and Varian, and Luz was pretty much a powder keg of emotions and blah. She was in her room right now, dimly lit with her purple lights and surrounded by a fort of stuffed animals and, well, Luz was a sight to see.
So. Uh. Died. First time, ha ha, not a fun experience. Kinda looking for some company, here or just on this thing otherwise. I should probably be getting rest, yes, but staring up at the ceiling regretting stuff and hating yourself can only keep out the quiet for so long.
Also, been out of the loop a bit. Someone update me on things?
[Action]

Luz was pretty sure that she was going to get an earful from people in the house, but ESPECIALLY from Ahiru, who had very much not wanted her to go on the mission. Luz had thought she could handle it and had handled somewhat similar situations before. Now, though, since they'd talked about it before, Luz knew it looked even WORSE.
Add the whole mix of self-loathing for being too weak to avoid death and the ever-present gloom of missing Fern and Varian, and Luz was pretty much a powder keg of emotions and blah. She was in her room right now, dimly lit with her purple lights and surrounded by a fort of stuffed animals and, well, Luz was a sight to see.

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No, it was way worse than that. Trust me, you don't get scars from scary movies, but you certainly get them from a place like Deerington!
[Luz certainly would be thrilled about 1 and shocked but happy about 2]!
Really? That seems unnecessarily annoying. Did you have to do that for your sister AND your mom?
[It's not as hard as you'd think]!
Oh, I like to live dangerously. Please see my current post about dying!
[She could joke a little about that now, seeing as she'd gotten over the whole mind numbing depression it came with]!
[Great! Luz had every intention of making sure she didn't make Lexi uncomfortable].
Right!
Well we can afford to be a little bad here. After all, no one from home could judge us!
[They still probably wouldn't though. Being a goodie goodie tended to kill plans like that].
Hehehe! Somehow thinking of you like that is even funnier!
[Cool, she totally got her vibe]!
Ok, I think I didn't know that and now I totally have to have Almond milk now!
(CW: addiction)
[Cassie out of whatever drama was making her act weird. Maddy, away from Nate Jacobs for the foreseeable future. and Rue, away from her addictions]
Then let's hope that the weird stays...manageable? Reasonably manageable?
[well, she's still nervous about such things. she had a hard time telling what she brought to a friendship]
Yeah, pretty much. It was okay, though, I don't mind helping them like that.
[and a sheepish look] Yeahhhh. Maybe. It might be a good to live, uh. Somewhat dangerously? At least for a little while. I can't imagine dying twice.
[which is said out of concern. she knows that death always lurks around the corner for all of them, but she's rather tentative in her approach to just about anything]
Well...there's sleeping past noon bad and dear god, what was I thinking bad? Not that we can always control that kind of thing? Which is a little nerve-wracking.
[and it seemed like Luz got hers, which was rare. most people didn't]
It's so good! And kind of naughty-feeling, pouring chocolate almond milk on Rice Crispies.
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[There were all types of people who showed up here and, by extension, from pretty bad situations. It sounded like her friends were in some pretty bad situations, so maybe Lexi had a point.
Then again, Trench had a way of making you and other people face up to your past, so that sort of made things pretty difficult to stomach through, and then there were the other various ugly things that happened because the Pthumerian influence was so stapled into this world. Luz was very careful about wanting the people she cared about in the same situation she was in].
That usually depends on how well we can deal with it.
[May as well not lie there. Also, obviously Lexi brought herself in a friendship. That was why Luz argued that it was a very vulnerable position sometimes. Luckily, Luz very much cared for her new friendship].
Well, they are your family. I get that.
[Her mom would never in her life imagine putting herself in her young daughters hand, but Luz knew by now no family were the same. Every situation was different].
Hopefully there IS no twice. I'd like to super avoid that if I could. Got to get my butt into that dojo, then continue my magical training, and some more fencing lessons with Vira Lorr!
[It helped to be prepared]!
Oh, well. I think you're right, but its important not to be reckless. I think I have to come to terms that the things I do can be pretty dangerous, and I ought to be more careful anyway. Just so I'm not causing everyone worry.
[They were lucky that way]!
I'd be bouncing off the walls. Sounds great!
no subject
[most of them had blown past "pretty bad" a long time ago.
and if she was being honest, all of them had a lot of stuff from their pasts that they hadn't really faced up to. she was most familiar with Rue's problems, of course, but there had been a time when Maddy's parents were fighting all the time and she spent a couple of months with the Howards. giving everyone a front-row seat to her fights with Nate]
Yeah. They're all pretty tough. Tougher than they give themselves credit for, they'd probably adjust really fast.
[other than Cassie. Cassie would need Lexi to lean on, but that had been the way it worked for a very long time]
I will admit, it's weird to being the grown-up when I'm technically the youngest, but things kind of got intense after Dad left.
[and even more intense later on, but she didn't want to dwell on that part]
Right, right, no twice. And which dojo are you going to? Granted, most of my lessons with Sasuke are after dinner, so if you were coming over earlier I wouldn't have ran into you. But magic, yes! That's got to be a great bonus on top of the standard, you know, blood stuff.
[like a Girl Scout!]
Makes sense. No one wants to make the people who care worry about them. But at the same time, sometimes there's no getting around it. It's just---anything really can happen. At any time.
[and she really was doing better at coping]
It is. It tastes really decadent but at the same time it's technically healthy.
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[Not that Luz didn't get exactly what Lexi was talking about. The people she knew were in a bad way, and probably slave to some of the vices you shouldn't have at that age. Luz wasn't sure that they should be here, but she did understand now how badly Lexi wanted them to be saved from their own issues].
I'm sure they would. I just hope they'd be prepared for what came after.
[That wasn't easy for anyone].
Take your word for it, only child! But I can imagine that it got very rough, didn't it? Sometimes we kids really shouldn't have to get aged faster than we should.
[By the time Luz was sixteen and she'd been in Deerington more than a year, she'd gone through a gauntlet of hard things, some with emotional scars and some with physical ones].
The one with Ozpin, not any of the ones with the aggro guys, obviously. It's still pretty demanding though. Have to do some pretty rough things to show your endurance and such.
Heh, you could say that. It's kind of its own thing. A bit of a miracle I can do it here even. Magic's supposed to only work on the Boiling Isles, where I got it.
No, that's true. There are always going to be times where there's no getting around it. Things happen when it feels like, and then you're just in for the ride.
Really? You'll have to show me sometime then!
(CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[because she knew Rue wasn't clean. she'd seen too much of the same behavior from her from the past. for a little while, Rue seemed to be trying because of Jules, but Lexi wasn't sure how smart it was to focus all of one's sobriety on one person]
Is it cool or lonely to be an only child? But, yeah, it did. They're family, though, so someone has to keep an eye on them.
[from what Lexi had heard, that by itself was enough to make one age a lot, even if they physically stayed young]
I've heard good things about him, too, but I'm sticking with Sasuke. He seems to really get it about what I'm ready for and not ready for yet. I know I'm getting better, though, I feel...stronger somehow? I guess that's the best way to put it.
Wow. Then yeah, it's really good that you got to keep your magic. I'd thought that most of the time, we only had our blood powers to work with. Which bloodtype are you?
I--I assume I'm going to die someday, too. Not looking forward to it, but it's kind of unavoidable. Then, time for squid again.
I will! Even though I'd find videoing my breakfast kind of awkward.
Re: (CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[It could be lonely, but Luz was used to being by herself if she had to be.
That seemed like something Lexi would be sensitive too, heck, that LUZ might be if the shoes were flipped. She'd so just about anything for the family she made here, after all].
No, by all means, stick to Sasuke! If Ozpin wasn't an option, I'd have chosen him too. It feels like he knows what he's doing, knows how to best help individual students.
I think it depends on if you had it to start with or you've never had it. I'm a Paleblood, which is still weird for me, if I'm totally honest.
Yup. It is NOT fun, but sure beats the horrible flu people in Deerington had to face whenever they died.
(CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[so was Lexi. she wanted to protect Rue, but she couldn't say that Rue felt the same about her. at least, not anymore.
and Lexi was very protective of those she considered hers. even Cassie, as much as her older sister drove her crazy. and she was definitely editing down her play to take certain scenes out]
He does, which is great. I don't know, I'd always thought about that kind of training being a one size fits all kind of thing? But it's not and he knows that. Which is good.
Oh, so in theory you can read minds. I'm a Darkblood, so in theory I can mess around with time and move things with my mind. If I hadn't mentioned that before? I might have. I'm sorry if I did, I can be kind of absent minded sometimes.
Re: (CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[Luz couldn't see how that would be. Lexi was clearly someone worth protecting, just as Luz was sure Lexi felt the same way about her family and friends].
A good teacher knows how to make adjustments to what they're doing so others can pick up on it! That's what I'm pretty sure of, in Sasuke's opinion.
I mean, it depends how the Paleblood manifests. I get impressions, not so much visions. OOh, I didn't know you had telekinesis powers! Neat! You didn't, but now I'm super interested now!
Re: (CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[Lexi was very protective of her family and friends. she didn't want anything to happen to anyone she cared about, as ridiculous of a wish as it was. she didn't want anyone to feel as lost as she did sometimes]
Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I still feel really new at all of this, but he keeps that in mind while still pushing me into improvement.
And, well, I don't have it yet. The only thing I was able to do was reality warping and that was a total accident brought on because I was afraid someone might hurt me.
Re: (CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[And YOU, Luz was thinking just as well. She knew what it was like to want to help others, but when they were so obviously in pain and drowning a little every day? It must have been torture. Gosh, she just...wanted to huddle next to Lexi and hear her talk her heart out about life and people and try to help. Luz just wanted to make sure that she had someone to talk to and comfort her, and it was like a jackhammer she had to try and move past].
See, that's what a good teacher ought to do! They have to help you improve, see the things you already have that you want to put an effort to make better! You have a great teacher there!
Whoa, what?! I didn't know that! What happened? Also, SAME. That happened when I stumbled into astral projecting!
(CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[it was torture. she was afraid that Rue would accidentally take too much of the wrong thing and then what? the best case scenario was she'd be sent back to rehab and she didn't want to think about the worst case scenario. but talking about it, even a little? it helped]
Yes! Yes, that's it exactly! I'm kinda skinny, so I'll never be able to hit as hard as everyone else, but I can try to be faster.
A few months ago, I kind of stumbled into Evil Jude Law? He was being really weird and kinda threatening, so I might have...sent him into the halls of my high school by accident.
Re: (CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[She honestly wanted to make it her mission to make sure that Lexi's life at least got a little bit easier. She probably was hoping her friends back home were OK, and should at least be spending some of that time caring about her own self].
Evil...Jude Law? What movie?
CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[and she tried to keep most of her issues hidden. but they felt far easier to talk to with Luz than anyone else. even the heavy stuff]
I don't think it's from a movie. It's a guy who happens to look like Jude Law and he seems evil. It's creepy.
Re: CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[Luz wouldn't try to judge Lexi's situation. No one should: it sounded pretty hard].
So just a creepy Jude Law? Good grief! Did he try to do anything to you?
CW: drug addiction/rehab)
[Lexi was a bystander. Cassie had gotten that much right in the portals. but she wasn't quite sure about moving from a bystander in life to an active participant]
No, no, he seemed like he wanted to, but I managed to do the whole reality-warping thing. I made him think he was in the locker halls in my high school. [a brief, bitter laugh] They have to be good for something, right?
no subject
[Luz might try to nudge her into caring a little more, but she wouldn't push anything, After all, you really did have to do things at your own pace].
Oh, good job! Now, how exactly did that whole thing happen anyway?
[So they could avoid it happening to her again].
no subject
[it probably started in 9th grade, when Rue kind of fell apart and Lexi had no other friends to fall back on. at least not friends who hadn't been her sister's first]
I just...kinda panicked? And thought of the worst place I could think of. Which, turned out to be my high school! Funny, right?
no subject
[Luz was pretty sure that she could help Lexi avoid something like that again].
I mean. If I had to think of a place I wouldn't want to be, it might be the same thing. I didn't exactly start out great in my high school, and I haven't really been back since I stumbled into the Boiling Isles.
(CW: alcoholism, death)
[Lexi was hoping so. she knew that without full control of her powers, she was kind of a sitting duck. she knew she was getting better at physical self-defense, but was in no real position to fight anyone who knew how]
God, what is it about high school which makes it suck so much? Is it the moldy smell in the gym locker room? Is it the condescending teachers? Is it the lousy food? [a pause] Frankly, my money is on the food.
Re: (CW: alcoholism, death)
[Luz had no intention of letting anything bad befall Lexi if she could possibly help it. If she had to stick close to protect her until she came into her own, Luz was prepared to do that. It was something that Fern would have done for Varian, she was sure].
I'd say it's a bit of all of it. You also forgot the bullying social dynamics and the peer pressure, but those go without saying.
(CW: alcoholism, death)
[she's slowly getting there. she keeps looking around, seeing kids adapting better than she is and that's a little embarrassing]
Yeah, they kinda do. And the jocks. Though, they probably fall under both categories, the bullying social dynamics and the peer pressure. At least they did at East Highland.
Re: (CW: alcoholism, death)
[Not exactly a glowing review, but there you are.
Kids all have different situations! Luz wouldn't have said one was necessarily better than someone else]!
That's probably the case for a lot of us. If you're in the hierarchy and accept normal as default, then you fit fine. If you don't, well. You just sort of drift around until you hopefully find a way to make your own band of weirdoes?
Re: (CW: alcoholism, death)
[not dumb. definitely not dumb]
Yeah, I never really went along with the cool crowd, even though in the summer before Freshman year, I kinda wanted to. But I quickly realized that I can be the one of the guys friend or the silently appreciative friend, but not the cool friend.
no subject
[Self-deprecating too, but that was a story for another time].
Cool is in the eye of the beholder. I would make the case that you are my unique, super smart friend, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes you pretty cool to me.
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hahaha "friends"
LOL, girlfriends~~
YUUUSSSS
😁
I'll bet you can't, Luz.