text | carcinoGeneticist | apologies

[klawful]

HELLO FELLOW SLEEPERS. I WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICALLY OFFER MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES FOR THE TRICKSTER VIRUS I IMPLEMENTED LAST MONTH. A THEORY OF MINE GOT OUT OF HAND AND PEOPLE HAD TO SUFFER FOR IT WHICH IS 100% MY BAD. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LEADER AND INSTEAD, I FAILED YOU ALL. AS PER FUCKING USUAL.

(Karkat. Holy shit. No one thinks you're their leader. Again.)

PAST ME IS ARGUABLY THE MOST WORTHLESS, IDIOTIC TROLL TO HAVE EVER EXISTED IN ANY TIMELINE OR REALITY. TRULY, HE PROBABLY HUFFS CEILING CHIPS TO PUT TOGETHER BASIC SOLUTIONS. THAT GUY IS SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE PIECE OF SHIT SO I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR (PLATONIC) HATRED OF HIM. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

TO BE HONEST, I WOULD SUPPORT YOUR HATRED OF CURRENT ME TOO. YOUR FEELINGS OF HATE ARE COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF ME ROYALLY FUCKING SHIT UP FOR SOME PEOPLE. AGAIN, MY BAD.

I WOULDN'T EVEN JUDGE YOU FOR HATING FUTURE ME EITHER.


...


ANYWAY. NOW I HAVE TO EXTRAPOLATE A VERY CRUCIAL POINT: IF YOU CLICK ON A LINK SOME RANDO SENT YOU ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. YOU ARE THE DOWNFALL OF YOUR OWN SPECIES AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN IDIOTSVILLE. CONGRATULATIONS, DICKBAG, I HAVE CRAFTED A DUNCE CROWN SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOW THE MAYOR OF MORONS. DOES IT FEEL SPECIAL TO BE SO STUPID? DO YOU FEEL CONTENT IN YOUR ABYSMAL DEN OF DERELICT THINK FUNCTIONS?

I BET YOU DO, YOU GODDAMN PROTOZOIC ORGANISM. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN MOTHERFUCKING PWNED BY THE MOST BASIC VIRUS SPREAD EVER AND IF YOU ARE EMBARRASSED, I WANT TO OFFER YOU A FIRM CLAP ON THE SHOULDER. YOU SHOULD FEEL EMBARRASSED.

BITCH.

(--Yeah, okay. Just ignore him. As he said, he gives you full permission to hate current and future him too. Starting now.)

Comments

[danserai]

I'm sorry that happened to you too.

[ at least it was fixed. mytho though . . . who will fix mytho? who will undo the damage ahiru left behind?

it hurts to think about. ]

And sometimes just saying sorry is enough. You don't have to hurt yourself for it.

[ she can tell by the diatribe at the end that it was more to punish himself. ahiru is not smart, but these things, she knows. ]

I'll still be your friend even if you make mistakes.

[klawful]

(Karkat is so grateful he sticks exclusively to text. This way he can scream in peace at people who were too kind, too forgiving, too considerate.

Some part of him didn't really even feel like he deserved the kindness. Another part of him told himself to shut the fuck up and stop throwing such a pity party.)

THANKS. IT WAS TECHNICALLY MY FAULT. I SHOULD HAVE REALLY KNOWN BETTER. I HAVE MADE A VIRUS BEFORE AND THAT TIME IT *DID* KILL A LOT OF THINGS. I WAS JUST HOPING MAYBE THIS TIME I COULD CREATE SOMETHING A BIT LESS AWFUL.

YEAH. I HOPE SO. FOR SOME PEOPLE IT ISN'T, BUT I GUESS NO ONE IS ACTUALLY ENTITLED TO FORGIVENESS.

(She was 100% correct.


NOPE. Good lord. This pity was making him diiiie. He takes a moment to respond.)


YES. I TOO WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU DUE TO MISTAKES. WE ARE ALL FLAWED CREATURES AND WE CANNOT GROW IF PEOPLE CUT US OFF AT OUR HEALTHY PARTS TO SPITE OUR ROTTEN PARTS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST COMPARED MYSELF TO A FUCKING PLANT, BUT THE METAPHOR STANDS.

[danserai]

Maybe you'll get it next time! Some things get better with practice. Like ballet!

[ which she'll never get better at, but she's a duck so. ]

And there's nothing wrong with plants! I think you'd be like a . . . cactus. Kind of sharp but grows strong I think?

[klawful]

YEAH, MAYBE. YES. I THINK I WILL TRY MUCH HARDER NEXT TIME. I WILL SLEEP EVEN LESS THAN BEFORE AND DOMINATE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PROJECT.

THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT.

I LIKE THAT. CACTI ARE FUCKING SWEET. IF YOU FELL ON ONE, YOU WOULD BE SO ROYALLY FUCKED. OKAY, ACTUALLY, PROBABLY NOT "ROYAL" BUT I AM BEING FIGURATIVE. METAPHORICAL? SHIT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT LINGUISTICS. WHAT AM I GOING ON ABOUT.

[danserai]

You're talking about how you'll do better! But with sleep!

[ sleep is important! ]

And cacti, I think.

[klawful]

NO WAY. SLEEP IS SO ANNOYING. IT TAKES UP SO MUCH TIME.

I THINK SO TOO. IF YOU WERE A FLOWER


WAIT. I'M GOING TO STOP THAT COMPARISON RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT FLOWERS.

[danserai]

But you need rest to get energy!

[ she thinks. she has no idea how biology works. ]