deernet | Video; un: lothrat

Entry tags:

Video; un: lothrat

[Ezra has a Sword of Agency laid across his lap when he flips on the camera to his Omni. The very observant might note he's in one of the safehouses Ruby clued him into. He looks thoughtful.]

I've had enough time travel and other weirdness going on in my life for the last year that I wasn't sure how far off my count of subjective days might be. But I woke up to this sword, which gives off some pretty interesting vibes. So either my Blessed Day is a really random day, or it's my birthday.

I'm going with it being my birthday. Nineteen.

I've always pretty much hated my birthday, as long as I remember. Some of it's personal, but even the personal stuff is tied to the fact that the day I was born, the galaxy where I'm from changed, and not, in my estimation - and a whole lot of other people's - for the better.

There's no, like, cosmic or destined implications to the fact I was born that day, by the way. Not as far as I know. Just cause and effect, maybe. Stress can lead to early births, right? I'm just a kid from a backwater planet in a big galaxy. My parents weren't anyone important.

But sometimes my birthday felt like a curse.

None of that baggage came from here. I'd like to try to put some of it down, you know? [He peers towards a window.]

It's looking bad out there, but if you want to brave it, I've got a big pot of mushroom stew on, and I think I'm gonna see if I can get this thing to project a movie. Not exactly a dazzling party, but it's more than I usually celebrate. Some company would be great. Or just talk to me on here.

Any suggestions for a must watch?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Alchemy is a little like chemistry, just older and more- [wait wait wait wait] lightsaber? You're from Maul and Obi-Wan's world?

[It's said with almost pity. That place sounds INSANE. ]

I've been trying to build a lightsaber. The first one didn't go so well, but I'm hoping 2.0 will be a success. What sort of living things have you been working with?

I'm a Jedi, yeah. I'm from a later time than the versions of Maul and Obi-wan here come from, though. [He smiles tightly. There really is a reason he hates his birthday.]

I'll...circle back around to question about the attempts at lightsaber building.

I'm pretty good at making empathic connection with lots of types of animals. I talk to the ravens a lot, here. And I can feed energy into plants a little bit, to help them grow. Speed healing along in people, some. But like, I'm more practiced at the empathy thing than energy direction.

Ah, time shenanigans, that can be tricky. I'm from a later time than the people from my world here, too. Only by a few months, but...a lot happens in that time.

[Which makes things...complicated to say the least. ]

Sure, we'll stick a pin in it.

Oh wow, that's pretty neat! My boyfriend has a connection to plants but he's also...literally a plant person so, y'know. The healing probably comes in handy here, right?

I actually haven't used it a lot yet, but it definitely could be. I can make connections to people too, so it's possible that might help with corruption. I haven't tried that yet.

That's definitely possible.'

[He hesitates, just for a moment. He wants to avoid talking about this, it bothers him a lot, but the experience has taught him that burying this sort of thing only serves to make matters worse.]

I uh... I got corrupted really badly last month. Turned into a monster and everything. It was my friends who brought me back. Being able to connect people and heal them even just by...having that connection makes a huge difference here, I think.

[After a bear, Ezra nods.]

I'm sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad you got brought back. And I'm glad to have the confirmation it can work that way.

I figured, because it seems to me like there's some parallels to the way that using the Dark Side of the Force can spiral, but I don't want to draw bad conclusions from relying on that analogy too much, you know?

Thanks, it's- well, it's not okay, but I'm glad we got something out of it. Like you said, the confirmation is...it's good. Means better things for other Sleepers in the future.

[Because that matters a lot to Varian. Being able to help people. He knows it can go to an unhealthy degree sometimes, needing to make up for something he didn't even do in this world. But it matters all the same.]

From what I understand about it, it's really not a bad analogy. It's maybe not exactly the same, but the similarities are definitely there. Before he actively started self-destructing, Maul was able to soothe my early corruption stages with The Force.

[Ezra goes quiet and solemn a moment, before he switches the conversation to private.]

Can...Can I ask - is that something he stopped being able to do, or caring to do, or something you stopped trusting him with?

I still trusted him back then at least. He tried to help me when it started to get bad again, but it'd grown beyond something he could handle. He was afraid taking it out would have damaged me more. It was...pretty entrenched in there.

[Would he trust the guy with it NOW, were he to start suffering again? He's not sure. ]

There's something to be said for considering the possibility that he could hurt you, rather than blindly acting in arrogance.

[He raised a hand, palm out.] Not that I'm in any way trying to tell you that you should trust him at this point.

It's just - he's definitely in a different state of mind than the version I knew. I almost want to challenge him to open my holocron.

Thank you for telling me all this.

Yeah, that's why this...latest mess hurt so much, I guess? He'd been making some real progress- and I say that as someone he has killed before. Not out of his own free-will, he was being influenced by the town- the dream, at the time. But...still.

[He's been on this Maul Merry Go Round for a long, long time. ]

And that's...understandable, honestly. He has changed here, don't get me wrong. I've seen him improve... but he's also pretty determined to take a hundred steps backwards every time he steps forward. But it's...fine, don't mention it.

[And because he can't help but be curious, as much as he's trying to distance himself from Maul.]

...What is he like? In your time?

[Ezra sighs.]

So, here's the thing - he never hurt me, physically. That was a line he was careful not to cross. He tried to teach me things, in his way, at a time when I was looking for quick answers to protect the people I love. And well, to protect everyone, really, from the bad stuff going on in my galaxy.

He did hurt my family and mess with my head to try to get what he really wanted.

Um. How much do you know about his history with Master Kenobi?

Oh...well, I can understand that. Maul is... well, he's pretty good at the quick way to something, even if it usually ends up being the wrong way.

[Maul brute-forces his way through everything like a lunatic most days, he's learned. His expression softens.]

I'm sorry about your family. That- that had to have been rough. Sometimes, he doesn't have to hurt you directly to get where it'll cause the most pain.

[He's learned that more than enough.]

Not a lot. What I have learned is from his perspective so I have a feeling it's more than a little...biased. I know Maul killed someone he loved a great deal in front of him, and I know he took Maul's legs. But the reaosning behind it is...sketchy at best.

[Ezra opens his mouth. Breathes out slowly. Then closes his mouth. Then opens it again.]

Those, uh, facts are....technically correct.

Most of it's not really my story to tell. Obi-wan is pretty private. Let's just say I've never known him to attack someone out of revenge.

And pretty much everything I saw that version of Maul do, in my time, was driven by revenge again either his own former master, or Obi-wan. And then Maul used me to find Obi-wan one last time.

[He sighs.] I couldn't really see the fight, because Obi-wan sent me away. But the only time I ever felt peace from Maul was when he was dying.

Oh no, I figured he wouldn't have done it out of revenge. I don't know him well, either, but I know Maul tends to...embellish the truth to make him sound like the victim. He's been doing it as long as I've known him.

[So it makes perfect sense that even this wouldn't be QUITE the way Maul tells it. He's not even surprised anymore. The knowledge of Maul's death feels...weird. Heavy. He's trying to not let it get to him. This end was inevitable, it was the path Maul threw himself down, time and time again.]

That...honestly sounds exactly like him. Trying to get him to accept to be driven by anything other than revenge has been- well, it's been pretty much impossible. I guess he was always headed to that ending.

I haven't told Maul any of this, by the way. I pretended I didn't recognize him. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he's worked out that's not entirely true.

And sure not telling him was partly to protect myself, but also not to give him any ideas about...destiny.

I do believe people can choose a different path. If they work for it. Obi-wan, here, said he didn't believe Maul would hurt him, now.

I was relieved. And hopeful.

Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Not that we're really talking at the moment anyway, but I won't tell him anything.

[Because he's not going to give Maul any amo against anyone. ]

I definitely believe people can choose a different path. I- well, I'm living proof of that. I just...I don't know about Maul anymore. I've put a lot of energy in him, to try and help him with that and it's all been thrown back in my face.

Yeah. Just because people are given the opportunity to choose a different path, there, doesn't mean that they will.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, don't be. It's just- a long, long journey that's kinda ended...right where we started. Maybe a few steps ahead? But that's it.

[Two years is a long time to pour into someone who consistently threw it back in your face. ]

[He shoots Varian a sad, sympathetic smile, through the comm screen.

And then - topic change!]

Fern said something about lighting a sword on fire being mark one attempt at making a lightsaber?

[Which is...ok, more than a little funny to Ezra. Not making fun to be mean, but still funny.]

[Oh! This is a very welcome topic change and Varian brightens considerably- albeit a little awkwardly.]

Hah, yeah. I tried to make a lightsaber like...the first month I got into the Dream. I definitely didn't have access to the process I know that now goes into making one, so I just uh...went for it- with Fern. We kind of started a forest fire. [He grimaces a little- embarrassed.] Oooon the network. In front of everyone.

I mean, I can't say I haven't done stuff about as dumb. Some of it with my lightsaber, even. [Ezra grins back, sheepishly.]

So, you know now, that it's plasma, focused through a crystal?

Hah, nice to know I'm not alone on that one. Usually, I'm a little more careful.

[That is a bare-faced lie and he knows it. ]

I do. Maul mentioned something about them being alive? The- the crystals, I mean.

Yes! I don't really get how the alive part works on a scientific level. But they feel alive in the Force.

And they respond to sentient minds and emotions. Have preferences, or at least types of minds they're more likely to be easily attuned to. There are places where the Force is strong, and for thousands of years Force sensitives have gone on pilgrimages to be chosen by kyber crystals and bond with them.

So, the kyber isn't just a focus for the blade, but for the Force users, too.

I can sort of get that. We had...well, let's call them magical rocks back home. They reacted to certain stimuli. It wasn't quite like being alive but they definitely reacted like living things sometimes.

[The black rocks back home were a WHOLE THING and that's about as far as he wants to go into them. Trauma, and all that.]

Okay, that makes sense. That sounds a little less horrifying than the way Maul put it...whiiiich I shouldn't be surprised at.

Video; un: lothrat

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

[>Private]

private forever

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)