text || un: wheeler

[micycle]

PIZZA MARKET RESEARCH SURVEY #1

1. What are the best pizza toppings (and nothing weird like anchovies)?

2. Thin crust or thick crust?

3. Do you like orange soda?

4. Do you know how replicate orange soda here?

5. What are your preferred pizza eating hours?

6. How often would you use a horse-based delivery service? Would it depend on what kind of horse showed up at your house with the pizza? Would it matter if the horse was fucking terrifying?

Thank you all for your input.

Comments

Text; UN: BlackMoths

[blackmothwings]

1. I don't eat pizza, but if I did, I suppose I would enjoy bell peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, and olives.

2. Again, I don't eat pizza, so I'm not entirely sure. Both, perhaps?

3. I do not.

4. I'm afraid not. Are you going to try? If so, I wish you all the best.

5. It seems like something best enjoyed during the evening, doesn't it? But it would be nice to eat at lunchtime too. I feel the only unacceptable time to eat pizza is in the morning.

6. I grew up during a time when horses were the only means of transport. So it is acceptable to me, yes. Would this 'terrifying' horse happen to be named Marshmallow?

[micycle]

Yeah Will said he’d love to help, and probably wouldn’t eat the pizzas on the way.

And people eat it in the morning all the time! Usually after sleepovers when it’s all cold.

[blackmothwings]

I see. Well, I must agree with Will. And to be perfectly honest, I would trust Marshmallow with the pizzas more than I would trust most other human beings. He may seem frightening to others, but I am grateful that he is present to watch over Will.

Is that so? Is this something you've done before?

[micycle]

Yeah like every weekend back home. Me and Will and our friends would sleep over in the basement and my mom would order us pizza, and then it would sit out all night and get cold.

[A beautiful memory. Not at all gross.]

[blackmothwings]

[She's totally judging, but that judgment is more or less directed at the parents for not putting the pizza in the fridge so the bugs don't get to it.]

And you and your friends didn't feel poorly after eating this cold pizza the next day?

[micycle]

I mean I never felt great but it turned out I was allergic to dairy.

[blackmothwings]

[OH NO]

And yet you continue to eat it?

[micycle]

It's not that bad. It's not like when you're allergic to shrimp and you can't breathe. I just get a stomachache.

[blackmothwings]

I see. And I apologise if I am overstepping here, but I hope you don't eat dairy too often. I know dairy-based foods can be lovely, but your well-being is so very important, and I dread to think you're making yourself ill just to eat pizza.

[micycle]

It's not like there's a huge amount of choice here. Old timey people like cheese.

[blackmothwings]

That isn't untrue, I suppose. Dairy is a difficult thing to avoid. However, it isn't impossible.

[micycle]

I heard that in the future they make fake milk out of all sorts of things and you can't even tell the difference.

[blackmothwings]

The ingenuity of the modern world never fails to amaze me. I wonder if someone might be able to do that here for you. Then you could enjoy your pizza without feeling unwell each time.

[micycle]

I guess I can work on that after I figure out orange soda. It's like infinitely more important.

[blackmothwings]

I am of the opinion that your health is more important than uncovering the secret behind orange soda. But I understand and respect this endeavour of yours, all the same. Your determination and initiative are both admirable.

[She believes in him!]

[micycle]

[All these adults complimenting him this month are going to give him a heart attack.]

A lot of people just call it stubborn and reckless.

But thanks.

[blackmothwings]

You're most welcome.

Should you require any assistance, you'll let me know, won't you?