video; UN: TripleJ

[kyley_b]

[The hair. Oh dear god, the hair. Kyle's recognizable mass of curls has been gelled within an inch of its life and sculpted into a wavy helmet. And where are his sleeves?!]

Yo Trench, what up what up, it's ya boy Kyley-B!

So's I need a little help here - anybody know a place in town where you can get some dope-ass ink? Because, you know, if you look up 'too much swag' in the dictionary, there'll be a great big picture of my face, and attitude like that deserves the best, you know what I'm sayin'?

Help a guy out here.

PEACE!

Comments

text; cw: being gross

[klawful]

IT IS NOT ABOUT THE *LOCATION*!!! IT'S ABOUT THE OUTRAGEOUS IDEA. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW AND I CANNOT IN GOOD FAITH LET YOU ALTER YOUR BODY WHEN IN THIS MINDSET. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE DO NOT KNOW IF IT WOULD BE A PERMANENT MODIFICATION.

text; cw: being gross

[kyley_b]

it's supposed to be permanent, babe! it's an undying testament of my love for you!

above my 🍆

text; cw: being gross

[klawful]

THERE ARE BETTER TESTAMENTS TO MAKE. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

(Karkat really hates that he doesn't hate being called babe. But this was a problem for another time.)

I HATE MYSELF. THE LAST THING I WANTED TO BE REMINDED OF WHEN I GO DOWN ON YOU IS MYSELF. THAT WOULD BE SO STUPID.

[kyley_b]

ohhh i get it
you want i should put a ring on it!

aw babe no you're the most perfect piece of troll ass to ever live

[klawful]

NO, DIPSHIT. I MEAN, NOT THAT I'M AGAINST THAT, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF PACING THESE THINGS. THERE ARE *OTHER* PERMANENT THINGS. I MEAN, FUCK, LOOK AT THE INTERNET. EVERYTHING IS IMMORTAL ON THE INTERNET.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. DUDE YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HUMILIATED BY THIS LATER.

[kyley_b]

well this is me tellin the world that KARKAT VANTAS IS THE MOST AMAZIN TROLL EVER there now it's on the internet

why? it's true!

ok ok what about nipple piercings

[klawful]

THERE YOU GO. DO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE SITUATION NOW THAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN ADEQUATELY INFORMED?

SURE KYLE. GET NIPPLE PIERCINGS. YOU WON'T HATE THAT LATER OR ANYTHING AT ALL.

[kyley_b]

not as good as when i get your name as a tramp stamp!

you don't think that's hot? yo you're really crabby right now.
haha crabby!

[klawful]

NO, I DO NOT THINK THAT IS HOT. I DON'T WANT TO BRAND YOU LIKE YOU'RE MY PERSONAL PROPERTY.

I AM NOT ANY CRABBIER THAN USUAL. YOU'RE JUST IN A WEIRD MOOD. THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF YOUR SHEDS.

[kyley_b]

well if you don't like it i won't do it.

no on the nipples too huh? aight.

oh yeah that happened. much better this way right? more confident! hotter! and not old wtf that was fuckin sad as fuck

[klawful]

I DON'T LIKE IT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE IT EITHER. IF YOU STILL WANT IT IN A MONTH WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT.

YOU CAN GET YOUR NIPPLES DONE IF YOU WANT. I STILL THINK YOU MIGHT NOT APPRECIATE THAT IN THE LONG RUN THOUGH.

(Oh. Oh yeah, no. That was not going to fly.)

KYLE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS OF YOUR CONFIDENCE OR AGE. YOU ARE NOT LESS BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU ARE OLDER AND SADDER. YOU ARE NOT "BETTER" THIS WAY OR "WORSE" OR WHATEVER. YOU'RE KYLE AND I LOVE YOU. THIS VERSION OF YOU IS JUST DIFFERENT AND APPARENTLY MORE RECKLESS. WHICH IS FINE, BUT I WOULD BE AN AWFUL MATE IF I DID NOT PROVIDE A BIT OF DAMAGE CONTROL.

[kyley_b]

aw you don't know that.

okay okay if you hate it. jeez.

karkat you gotta be kiddin me, this is an upgrade! you'll see i'm gonna blow your hot little socks off!

being a good mate is treatin me like a dumbass?

[klawful]

I AM INCREDIBLY CONFIDENT ABOUT THAT.

I WOULD NOT "HATE" ANYTHING YOU GET DONE TO YOUR BODY. IT IS YOUR BODY AND I WILL ALWAYS EMBRACE YOUR CHOICES. I JUST PREFER YOUR CHOICES TO BE MADE WHEN YOU ARE CLEAR-HEADED.

THERE IS NO UPGRADE FOR YOU. UPGRADES DO NOT EXIST FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AT THEIR HIGHEST LEVEL.

I AM NOT TREATING YOU LIKE A DUMBASS. I'M JUST APPROACHING THIS SITUATION WITH REASONABLE CAUTION. DO YOU FEEL LIKE I AM TREATING YOU LIKE A DUMBASS?

[kyley_b]

who says i'm not clear headed?

aw bb you're the sweetest. 😘

yeah you're totally actin like you think i'm doin somethin stupid.

hey. let's not fight, babe. tell you what, lemme make you dinner

[klawful]

OKAY, BUT YOU ARE DIFFERENT THAN USUAL.

THANKS.

OKAY. I'M SORRY I'M ACTING LIKE YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

YES, LET'S DO THAT. I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.

[kyley_b]

i'll have to trust you on that.

aw it's ok i know how you get. my little leader.

dope! i'll come to your place cook you up some crickets and shit, wine and dine you. wear somethin cute for my hot stuff.

[klawful]

I'M NOT LITTLE. I'M SNEAKY-SIZED. BUT I AM YOUR LEADER SO THAT IS HALF CORRECT.

OKAY. I CAN DO THAT. WAIT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR THAT'S CUTE. OKAY. SHIT. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

[kyley_b]

you are pocket sized so GET IN MY PANTS! HAH!

see you in a few!

[klawful]

YEAH. OKAY, DIPSHIT.

I WILL SEE YOU SOON <3.

Action;

[kyley_b]

[He does not enter quietly. No, he lamps over and yells down the tunnels.]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAY-BEE! I'm home!

[He struts on down to the living center of the caves, hair a glorious helmet, jacket tossed over one shoulder.]

Re: Action;

[klawful]

(Good lord he has no idea what to do with this. Normally Kyle didn't seem to care too much one way or another what he was wearing, but this version seemed to care. Which made Karkat scramble and put together a somewhat stylish outfit. Or he hoped anyway.

Maybe he should have gone something for a bit more spicy but whatever. It was done and Kyle was on his way. God, this asshole. When he sees him, he's irritated at himself for actually kind of being into the vibe Kyle had going. He liked assholes, okay.

And he kind of liked being called pet names apparently.)

Hey, Kyle.

[kyley_b]

Babe! LookitCHU!

[He tosses his jacket aside, crosses the room, picks Karkat up and kisses him hard.]

[klawful]

(Okay. This Kyle really wasn't that bad. Maybe just a bit overzealous. That wasn't a problem. He blushes almost immediately when Kyle scoops him up and lands one on him. Oooohkay. Okay.

Yeah. Not bad at all. His arms automatically go around Kyle's neck and he can't help but smile a little.)

Hi. (He nuzzles Kyle after the kiss, lifting his legs to hook them around Kyle's waist because why the fuck not? Kyle could keep him up.) Your hair looks neat.

cw: nsfw talk

[kyley_b]

I know. Hair gel, babe, never leave home without it.

[He keeps a grip on Karkat as he walks toward the kitchen, finally plopping him on a counter.]

Think I promised you dinner, 'less I should just eat you instead. [Another kiss.]

Re: cw: nsfw talk

[klawful]

I'm not using that shit.

(Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man he really is just a big old bitch for Kyle no matter what he was like, huh? He squeezes his legs around Kyle tightly, hugging him with his whole body. Even if this version was a weirdo, Karkat was happy to see he was at least okay.)

You can have me later for dessert. I'm starving and you did promise. (He kisses Kyle back anyway because the two of them are absolutely disgusting. He kisses Kyle again before leaning back to get a good look at him. He can't help but laugh a little.)

So, what is your story, Kyley-B? You're not the sad older Kyle. So what's this one then? Did you join some gang?