video; UN: TripleJ

[kyley_b]

[The hair. Oh dear god, the hair. Kyle's recognizable mass of curls has been gelled within an inch of its life and sculpted into a wavy helmet. And where are his sleeves?!]

Yo Trench, what up what up, it's ya boy Kyley-B!

So's I need a little help here - anybody know a place in town where you can get some dope-ass ink? Because, you know, if you look up 'too much swag' in the dictionary, there'll be a great big picture of my face, and attitude like that deserves the best, you know what I'm sayin'?

Help a guy out here.

PEACE!

Comments

text | carcinoGeneticist

[klawful]

(Oh God. What the fuck was with this month.)

YEAH. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND DOING THAT. AT ALL.

text;

[kyley_b]

baby! you're gonna love it! i'm gonna get your name on my ass!

1/3

[klawful]

(Wha-)

[klawful]

(THE FUCK.)

text;

[klawful]

KYLE FUCKING BROFLOVSKI DO NOT DARE DO THAT. IF YOU HAVE ONE FUNCTIONING SLIVER OF INTELLIGENCE LEFT IN THAT SAD EXCUSE YOU CALL A BRAIN THEN USE IT TO REALIZE HOW DUMB OF AN IDEA THAT IS.

WHAT PART OF ME COMES ACROSS AS THE TYPE WHO WOULD LOVE THAT?

text; cw: being gross

[kyley_b]

what's the problem? it's romantic!

ohhhh you want i should get it above my dick?

text; cw: being gross

[klawful]

IT IS NOT ABOUT THE *LOCATION*!!! IT'S ABOUT THE OUTRAGEOUS IDEA. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW AND I CANNOT IN GOOD FAITH LET YOU ALTER YOUR BODY WHEN IN THIS MINDSET. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE DO NOT KNOW IF IT WOULD BE A PERMANENT MODIFICATION.

text; cw: being gross

[kyley_b]

it's supposed to be permanent, babe! it's an undying testament of my love for you!

above my 🍆

text; cw: being gross

[klawful]

THERE ARE BETTER TESTAMENTS TO MAKE. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

(Karkat really hates that he doesn't hate being called babe. But this was a problem for another time.)

I HATE MYSELF. THE LAST THING I WANTED TO BE REMINDED OF WHEN I GO DOWN ON YOU IS MYSELF. THAT WOULD BE SO STUPID.

[kyley_b]

ohhh i get it
you want i should put a ring on it!

aw babe no you're the most perfect piece of troll ass to ever live

[klawful]

NO, DIPSHIT. I MEAN, NOT THAT I'M AGAINST THAT, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF PACING THESE THINGS. THERE ARE *OTHER* PERMANENT THINGS. I MEAN, FUCK, LOOK AT THE INTERNET. EVERYTHING IS IMMORTAL ON THE INTERNET.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. DUDE YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HUMILIATED BY THIS LATER.

[kyley_b]

well this is me tellin the world that KARKAT VANTAS IS THE MOST AMAZIN TROLL EVER there now it's on the internet

why? it's true!

ok ok what about nipple piercings

[klawful]

THERE YOU GO. DO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE SITUATION NOW THAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN ADEQUATELY INFORMED?

SURE KYLE. GET NIPPLE PIERCINGS. YOU WON'T HATE THAT LATER OR ANYTHING AT ALL.

[kyley_b]

not as good as when i get your name as a tramp stamp!

you don't think that's hot? yo you're really crabby right now.
haha crabby!

[klawful]

NO, I DO NOT THINK THAT IS HOT. I DON'T WANT TO BRAND YOU LIKE YOU'RE MY PERSONAL PROPERTY.

I AM NOT ANY CRABBIER THAN USUAL. YOU'RE JUST IN A WEIRD MOOD. THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF YOUR SHEDS.

[kyley_b]

well if you don't like it i won't do it.

no on the nipples too huh? aight.

oh yeah that happened. much better this way right? more confident! hotter! and not old wtf that was fuckin sad as fuck

[klawful]

I DON'T LIKE IT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE IT EITHER. IF YOU STILL WANT IT IN A MONTH WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT.

YOU CAN GET YOUR NIPPLES DONE IF YOU WANT. I STILL THINK YOU MIGHT NOT APPRECIATE THAT IN THE LONG RUN THOUGH.

(Oh. Oh yeah, no. That was not going to fly.)

KYLE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS OF YOUR CONFIDENCE OR AGE. YOU ARE NOT LESS BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU ARE OLDER AND SADDER. YOU ARE NOT "BETTER" THIS WAY OR "WORSE" OR WHATEVER. YOU'RE KYLE AND I LOVE YOU. THIS VERSION OF YOU IS JUST DIFFERENT AND APPARENTLY MORE RECKLESS. WHICH IS FINE, BUT I WOULD BE AN AWFUL MATE IF I DID NOT PROVIDE A BIT OF DAMAGE CONTROL.

[kyley_b]

aw you don't know that.

okay okay if you hate it. jeez.

karkat you gotta be kiddin me, this is an upgrade! you'll see i'm gonna blow your hot little socks off!

being a good mate is treatin me like a dumbass?

[klawful]

I AM INCREDIBLY CONFIDENT ABOUT THAT.

I WOULD NOT "HATE" ANYTHING YOU GET DONE TO YOUR BODY. IT IS YOUR BODY AND I WILL ALWAYS EMBRACE YOUR CHOICES. I JUST PREFER YOUR CHOICES TO BE MADE WHEN YOU ARE CLEAR-HEADED.

THERE IS NO UPGRADE FOR YOU. UPGRADES DO NOT EXIST FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE AT THEIR HIGHEST LEVEL.

I AM NOT TREATING YOU LIKE A DUMBASS. I'M JUST APPROACHING THIS SITUATION WITH REASONABLE CAUTION. DO YOU FEEL LIKE I AM TREATING YOU LIKE A DUMBASS?

[kyley_b]

who says i'm not clear headed?

aw bb you're the sweetest. 😘

yeah you're totally actin like you think i'm doin somethin stupid.

hey. let's not fight, babe. tell you what, lemme make you dinner

[klawful]

OKAY, BUT YOU ARE DIFFERENT THAN USUAL.

THANKS.

OKAY. I'M SORRY I'M ACTING LIKE YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

YES, LET'S DO THAT. I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.

[kyley_b]

i'll have to trust you on that.

aw it's ok i know how you get. my little leader.

dope! i'll come to your place cook you up some crickets and shit, wine and dine you. wear somethin cute for my hot stuff.

[klawful]

I'M NOT LITTLE. I'M SNEAKY-SIZED. BUT I AM YOUR LEADER SO THAT IS HALF CORRECT.

OKAY. I CAN DO THAT. WAIT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR THAT'S CUTE. OKAY. SHIT. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

[kyley_b]

you are pocket sized so GET IN MY PANTS! HAH!

see you in a few!

[klawful]

YEAH. OKAY, DIPSHIT.

I WILL SEE YOU SOON <3.