un: timaeusTestified | text | Birthday Boy

[givehead]

Turning 21 has been a completely underrated experience. I was expecting the blackout and loss of time. Even the warping to a new place isn't out of the realm of estimated probability.

But being genetically altered is a plot twist. I assume it is so we can fuck the monsters.

I call dibs on the raven dude.

cw: looots of kink/fetish/nsfw jokes/conversation going on in this here post.

Comments

[opress]

One of those trolls is here, I think. It's customary for many races.

[Wasn't that the creature that yelled a lot and gave his elder brother a crisis when it came to describing different kinds of love. Savage hadn't thought much of it because all love for him was either non-existent or familial.

Ugh, Kenobi used a lot of sass in the form of sarcasm too. Zabrak didn't usually use sarcasm much as it would lead to fights and they had enough to worry about.]

Zabrak that use sarcasm tend to die quickly. So do Jedi. And humans. [So everyone.]

My personality will never be cute. [Well, personal assessment was fine.] Fine. My name is Savage Opress.

Voice; UN: Cuddlebunny

[lightthedarkness]

[Du du du, just reading what other people have to say~

Oh! It's Savage.

Wait. Why is SAVAGE of all people here?

Well, now she's curious as hell! And oooooh ho ho ho ho! This conversation did NOT disappoint!]

OH MY GOSH! SAVAGE! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO ON A DATE WITH DIRK-SAN!

:') voice

[givehead]

Yeah, Savage, go on a date with Dirk-san.

[lightthedarkness]

I mean, between him and his brother, Maul, who... I don't see around yet but YOU will see him around, to be sure. Between Savage and Maul, Savage is nicer and calmer.

[She's got BOTH brothers pinned.] I mean, don't get me wrong, both of them have serious rage problems. [And codependency problems.] BUT Savage is more likely to leave you unconscious, Maul is... mnn... WAS more likely to kill... Thooough, he may maim now more depending on what caused him to do it in the first place.

Anyway! Stubborn as HELL though, just absolutely fair warning.

Voice;

[opress]

[At this very moment, Savage actually wished she was still so very angry with him and wasn't speaking to him. Why did this have to be public? Also made worse by Dirk replying to her too.

He snorted like an enraged bull.]

Why are you yelling? About dating? I don't date.

[He'll eat those words someday.]

Voice;

[lightthedarkness]

You don't date yet because [See codependency issues] you just never found the right person! Dirk-san seems genuinely enthusiastic about the whole thing!

And don't try to be like "Oh, but I'm not enthusiastic." [She tried her best imitation at his voice, it was terrible.] Because you're never enthusiastic about ANYTHING anyway.

Maybe you'll like it!

Voice;

[opress]

There is no right person. And enthusiasm had nothing to do with being chosen as a mate or... dating.

[Her imitation had him growling very loudly. How had his brother not killed her in her sleep? Or while she ate? Or well... at any time!] You don't know me well enough to judge enthusiasm. [No, she was right but cue stubbornness.]

I won't like it. I hate everything. [Except Maul. Ruin, his tentacle beast rathtar. Maybe certain types of meat. Well, never mind. Blanket statements only.]

Voice;

[lightthedarkness]

Sure there is! For some, it's right people. [But he didn't strike her as the polyamorous sort.] And enthusiasm has EVERYTHING to do with dating! I didn't SAY mate I said date. Get your hearing checked, Savvy.

[And there it is, the nickname. Also, she's more powerful than your brother by leaps and bounds and more importantly, he loves her.] I absolutely know you well enough for that.

[She rolls her eyes.] It's ONE date. Come on, it could be fun!

Voice;

[opress]

Hence why I don't date. [It wasn't a concept he was allowed or introduced to until he had left his planet. He wasn't supposed to be allowed those things.] If you're so enthusiastic about dating, you date Dirk-san.

[He hated that nickname so much. It reminded him of a few too painful moments that ended in the usual tragedy. But everything was happening, so he didn't yell about that this time.] No you don't. This is our... fourth conversation.

[He growled.] I hate fun. [Stubborn.]

Voice; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul has been following this whole thing, enjoying himself immensely, and feels now is a good time to butt in.]

I agree. I've been trying to find someone for his potential mate here and having no success. This seems very promising.

[Oh no, Savage. Your brother and his wife are teaming up to get you on a date. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Then as an aside to Dirk:]

But first I need to make sure you are worthy of my brother.

[As any good overprotective older brother should be doing when setting up their younger sibling on a date.]

Voice; Not here

[lightthedarkness]

[NONE of the boys can see it but, Usagi is ABSOLUTELY pumping a fist in victory when Maul joins in. They all might hear the softly whispered "Yes!" though.]

Re: Voice; un: darkness

[givehead]

(God, this is one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened to him in his life.

He somehow manages to speak without a trace of amusement in his voice though, much to his credit:)

Sure. I get that. What do you constitute as worthy?

[survivalthroughhate]

[Alright, time to get down to business and see if this guy was a potential weirdo or not.]

Well, first off, I have to make sure he's not going to snap you in two either mentally or physically. From what I have seen, mentally you will be alright, but can you keep up with him in other ways?

cw: decapitation and kinda necrophilia

[givehead]

He can snap me in two, but I'll be fine. My first kiss with a dude was after I cut my own head off and he made out with it. I got better.

(Obviously.

He's definitely a weirdo.)

[survivalthroughhate]

Ah. You're some form of creature that cannot get easily hurt? Good.

[One can almost see Maul mentally taking notes.]

How do you feel about relationships with someone on the Dark Side of the Force? Would you consider yourself to be more on the light or dark side of things? And have you ever murdered anyone in cold blood?

Voice; Private

[opress]

What are you doing here? You can't possibly agree with this!

[Savage sounded positively aggrieved to have his brother here too. How did a simple question about animal fetishes turn into setting him up on a date?]

[survivalthroughhate]

You need a mate. That much is certain. Ventress is not here and so you are free once more to pursue someone that will make you happy. And since you have not done so on your own account, I will have to step in and make sure it happens for you.

[As any loving, caring older brother would do when they were devoted to their younger sibling and as completely codependent as the two Zabrak brothers were.]

[opress]

Why is this becoming important to you? I am happy when I'm elevating your position, being your enforcer. [You know, younger Sith Apprentice brother stuff.]

What makes you so certain about this one?

[survivalthroughhate]

But you deserve to find someone who will also make you happy and you can do the same for you in return. I have found one and it was one of the best things that happened for me in Deerington. Besides, wouldn't you like to grow old with another person and have a large amount of kits?

[Maul feels his brother would definitely make a good father, much more so than Maul himself would ever be as one.]

Well, the fact he's shown any interest in you is a good start for one.

[That was the biggest first step when it came to finding someone for Savage, so they were already off to a good start!]

[givehead]

Yeah. It's my brother's boyfriend.

(He was pretty sure there was another troll here too, but he hadn't looked into it too much yet.)

It's a good thing I'm still immortal despite my fondness for sarcasm, then.

(He was conditionally immortal, but Savage doesn't need to know that.)

That's subjective. (......)

You're fucking with me. For real? That's one of the most edgelord names I have ever heard.

[opress]

You said you were the last male of the human species. How can you have a brother?

[Of course, the whole idea of brotherhood was generally blurred, but he wasn't going to admit that. That he knew his bloodkin was rare for a Nightbrother.]

If you keep being sarcastic, you and I might be testing how immortal you actually are.

[He growled at the idea of subjective.]

It's my name. My brother is Maul.

cw: suicidal ideation

[givehead]

Timeline shenanigans. My brother and I are genetic clones. We were not traditionally born. His clone was sent to the past and mine to the future.

(He says it like it's so standard and simple. Which it kind of was.)

I never knew him growing up, but I got to meet him in my current timeline and we were able to develop a better relationship.

(Shrug emojis. It was dope. He loved his brother.)

Please do. I love dying. (Sarcasm or suicidal or both?? Who knows.)

Okay, of course, it is. Cool. So my name is Dirk and my brother is Dave. We're practically halfway to third base here. I'm getting tingly.

[opress]

Oh, clones. That explains everything.

[Thankfully the Clone Wars was well and truly underway, and he knew all about that thanks to both of his masters. He knew that the clones did consider themselves brothers and technically they were right. There was also a lot of them, and Savage had killed more than his fair share.]

Is your brother here?

[He growled but also was intrigued enough to want to know if that was the truth of it.]

You really do enjoy talking about immortality and death. Someone should have kicked your squid back into the waves.

[Then, of course, he made a confused sound in his throat.] What's... a third base and why would you tingle from it? [Space travel? No, the context doesn't sound space travel.]

[givehead]

Everything?

(Enlighten him, bud. He's already settled in for the long haul here.)

No. (Short, simple, and detached.)

What can I say? I've been chasing death since I was 16. If they tried, I'd probably just come back. I'm really stubborn. (It's a total drag when you hated yourself.

He's quiet for a long time because no fucking way. He would ask this dude how old he is, but he knew that the trolls had completely different terms for sex so...He snickers quietly.)

It's touching someone's genitals, but not full-on sex. I'm using archaic, outdated language here, but for simplicity's sake, you'll probably catch my meaning. I think you can figure out why someone would tingle from that.

[opress]

The Clone Wars. [That should explain everything. But fine, he'll elaborate.] The Republic's Grand Army was made up of thousands upon thousands of clones. They called themselves brothers too.

[Now that was unfortunate. Everyone should have their brother if that brother was worth having around. He wasn't going to comment though.]

You would be the second immortal I've met chasing death. Perhaps if I bash you both together you'll both die and stop whining.

[It was Savage's turn to be quiet as he considered the explanation. He still had no idea what the bases meant, given baseball wasn't a sport in his galaxy and even if it was, he probably wouldn't have heard of it.]

I'm going to kick you in the throat. [Reasonable reply for flirting, right?]