Deer Country Network

[Lexi's on her couch, Mewnos and Nosferatmew snoozing on the couch with her]

Okay, this is probably the dumbest question ever, but what stupid things do you miss from home?

Personally, I miss 'Doomsday Preppers' the most. I usually don't like reality TV, but that show is funny as hell. All of those people buying out Costco and building bunkers and assembling arsenals of guns which would make Neo go 'yeah, I think you have enough,' 'cause they thought the government or aliens or Captain Trips or the Illuminati were out to get them.

This one lady was coating eggs in mineral oil 'cause she said that would make the eggs stay fresh for a year. And she had literally dozens of cartons of eggs all covered with mineral oil. This other one accidentally shot his own thumb off while showing his little kids how to handle guns safely. That was hilarious.

Also, Dorothea left me a kitten last month. A normal kitten, not a batcat. I'm kind of not sure what to name her, but I know I'd like to stick to the whole insert shitty movie here plus 'mew.' I first though of going with The Mewm, but that kind of rhymes with womb and no. [she sits and thinks a moment, a crease forming between her eyes] Maybe 'Mewdemic?" Do you think that would work?

[The video opens low to the ground with a snuffling sound - a clear sign that this is from an Omen. There's the sound of someone crying - a child - and the Omen's head lifts a bit more to show... well, it's a catboy. Or a kittenboy, as the child is very small. He looks to be somewhere between five and eight, but short.]

I want mama... I want my sisters... I wanna go home. This isn't the Wellwick Wood.

[He is, in fact, sitting in the woods. At least there don't seem to be any beasts around...]

[The 'video' tilts down, where the Omen has scratched a word in the dirt. 'Help'.]

Is... was I bad? W... what's going on?

[Ice starts to spread around the child, though he hasn't seemed to have noticed it...]