Deer Country Network

[Stan is broadcasting from what some might recognize as the interior of the Murder Hut. Throughout the month Stan's been working on repairs because it's a good way to get rid of all that bloodsport energy and also the humming endless anxiety about how October is coming.

But when he gets on camera, he's grinning! He's kind of tired around the edges, but he's chipper at least!]

Hello, Trench! It's your local Mr. Murder-y here!

[He waves, like it's an infomercial!]

Mark your calendars, folks! The Murder Hut is returning November 1st! That's right; we're absolutely not messing around with October here at the Hut. Once whatever's gonna happen happens, we'll be open for business!

[The windows directly behind Stan are pre-emptively boarded up, in fact. You know...just in case. It's fine.]

Anyway! I'm looking for unpaid labor to help me fix up the Murder Hut to get ready for our grand reopening. It's still pretty busted from that time I got eaten by a giant worm. Now, where are all those teenagers I've come to know and tolerate?

[He mimes like he's squinting out into an audience. Surely someone will turn up to help him with a pitch like that, right?]

(On this fine evening, Jennifer Check has gone above and beyond. She's wearing a long, snug black dress with dramatic sleeves and a plunging neckline. She's straightened her hair until it gleams and was wearing heavy, dark make-up that made her look somewhere between dead and godly.

She's posing with purpose in front of the camera in a very red club.

It takes about three seconds for her to break character. A wide grin breaks open across her face.)

What do you guys think? I made a club! (Insert bouncy shriek of excitement. She becomes self-aware a second later and clears her throat, gesturing around her.)

Welcome to Devil's Dive. (She gestures at the camera and it begins to follow her smoothly. Clearly this is her Omen filming.)

Here we have the bar where you can get yummy drinks and nachos. I make killer nachos. And over here are a bunch of couches and pillows. I'm totally planning to host big sleep overs - the first one this Saturday!

(The camera zooms out and Jennifer gestures at a massive wall that seems to have been blacked out.)

But here's the main feature. I'll be hosting movie nights every weekend. And since it's October that means it's Halloween every day. And! If you come in a costume - (She gestures to her obvious Morticia Addams costume.)

You will get a free drink!

(Pretty sweet deal, huh?)

Okay, so, I'll leave the movies we'll be watching this month down below. It'll be a bitching time. Hope to see you cuties here! (....And on that note, her playfulness drops off:) No fuggos or creeps allowed. I'll throw you out myself.


Annnnyway~*! Happy first day of Halloween!

( Read more... )

Good evening, all. I think this is what is termed a 'bandwagon.' However, as I imagine we will all be busy dead, dying, or in the process of resurrecting soon, I thought I had better commit before October.

I'm opening a bakery and sweets shop.

[Lysithea pans the camera to a table that is covered with pans filled with dozens of buns, cakes, and confections of different colors. It really looks extremely well done. One would imagine that Lysithea applies herself with the same intensity to any task she undertakes.]

Everything will be sourced from traditional Fódlan desserts, passed down through family histories and collected by hand in this book. I've realized that if I'm not the one who makes these treats, I'm... never going to taste them again. So I thought I should share.

[The view changes to an enormous tome currently open to a page titled Saghert and Cream in script prominently displaying a luscious picture of some kind of fruit and cream concoction. It really looks like this was drawn by hand.]

I'm baking from my room for now. If you want anything here, you can drop by or I'll bring it over. If you want delivery, you've got to get at least a dozen, because frankly, I'm not running all over town to give you one sweet bun. I'll open a proper location when it's not Death Month.

...Thanks.

[She signs off after a moment's awkward hesitation, as if she's not sure what to do next.]

[video pt 2, ten minutes later]

It's -- me again. Upon further reflection, I have no idea how to run a business, at all, apart from the portion where you confidently declare it in public.

I would... appreciate advice.

And help. If you are willing to be paid in cake.

Hey, everyone! Spider-Man here — AKA your favorite Peter! Sorry to all the other Peters, but them's just the breaks. I've worked too hard the last three years around here to not get top-billed spot as Peter! ... Alright, alright, maybe I'll share with Peter Graham. But only because he's as old and tired as me. We're like a thousand years old in spirit, right? Right. The Peter Pack old boys.

Anyway, I used to give people informational packets, back when we lived in, uh... Deerington. You know, in Maine? You remember that old chestnut? Yeah, me too. Lucky me, my house and lab came with me! A little less furbished, but I do what I can. I'll be starting up my new job as a teacher here at the school soon, because old habits die hard, but I suppose I don't mind doing some teaching outside of the school, too, sooooo...

If you wanna know anything about the world that existed before Trench, I can answer questions as best I can. You guys all deserve that. And, uh. If it helps — I've attached a copy of the PPPP(S). Yup, that's right! The original! The O.G., as the hip kids call it.

[FILE ATTACHED.]

Super sorry if anything's confusing; I can fill out any of the weird blanks or things that don't quite make sense. And for everyone who doesn't need this info because they swam their little squid tuckuses behind me.... Hey! How's it going! Tell me a good joke, if you've got one. Let me know how you're settling while you're at it. I've been pretty good, personally. Lots of fighting, y'know. Creepy monsters away from the outskirts of town.

So basically nothing's changed.

Well, nothing other than the month, I guess! Wow, wait, is it already a new month? Can't believe...

[He trails off, and seems to realize, belatedly, loudly, and with great concern:]



OH NO, NOT OCTOBER!