Deer Country Network

Humans talk so much about love, but how do you know what love is? And if a feel you feel is love?

The first time I felt what I thought was love, it was someone else's will. And it was sticky, heavy like my chest was constricted and I couldn't breathe, like I was choking on it.

The next time, I felt elated and weightless, like all pain and sorrow had vanished from the world and my memories. I knew eventually, I'd be hurt but... in that moment, I believed nothing could harm me, and it still cut like a knife when it happened.

Could both of those feelings be love? Or is love something else entirely? Can you hurt someone and still love them? Is being hurt by someone you care for and accepting that hurt a form of love?

How do you know if you're even capable of such feelings?

[the video starts focused on a shelf, and on that shelf is a doll. absolutely the kind that just exudes 'listed on ebay for having the spirit of an angry victorian child in it' vibes with its dead eyes.

when viktor speaks his tone could not be more dry.] Some of you might have noticed the unpleasant dolls that, when ignored instead of bought, come to life violently. This is a matter our household is not entirely aware of because Palamedes continues to gladly buy any unpleasant doll he sets his sights upon.

[offscreen, but not like, very far offscreen (it is not a big living space), palamedes chimes in with a pointed, 'While I respect your aesthetic tastes, you're wrong, they're delightful,' that viktor will pointedly ignore as he continues.]

He will not stop bringing them. Some of them vanish after a week or two. He calls this one Sensible Bethany.

['She calls herself that, actually, I explained this already,' from the peanut gallery. the camera shifts as viktor turns to address him back]

Is this entire place not haunted enough without ugly dolls, I ask again? There is a limit, Palamedes.

[in the unfocused corner of the camera the doll absolutely turns its head to stare directly at the screen.]

( The feed opens to a woman sitting in a bright cottage kitchen, with a cup of something warm and a soft smile. )

Hello. Some of you may know me already, but to those who don't — I'm Rose Da Silva. Sharon's mom.

( Her smile warms, and she gently sets her mug down so she can turn her full focus on the video she's making. )

I've been here for... a while. Half a year now. I have to admit, this place isn't like where I come from at all, and I'm still... trying to adjust.

I know a lot of you are from worlds that may be similar to this one. You've probably been able to settle in a lot easier than me. But... I wanted to offer something. Because I know there are a lot of young people here, people... on their own.

( Her smile wavers, brow knitting slightly. A lot of people without parents, without help. And maybe they've been doing quite well on their own; Rose has certainly witnessed almost disconcerting levels of independence from the Sleeper youth. Often, it suggests that... many of them might not have had a strong parental presence back home, either. Several of them have directly told her as much, or she's seen... memories, shared by accident. )

I can't make things, but I can show you how to buy and use them, if you like. Like... well, if anyone might need some more clothes and could use a hand, I'd be very happy to show you the shops I've discovered around here.

( She's.... offering to help take you shopping, yes. This month, there's a growing compulsion to teach, and maybe Rose is....... filled with the need to do some Mom Teaching Things for others! )

There are some really nice shops in certain parts of the city. I'm sure we could find something to fit your personal style.

( Her smile brightens again; she seems excited. Back home, before she was venturing into the depths of Silent Hill to rescue her daughter, she was one fancy suburban mom. Shopping was her thing. And maybe it seems a little silly, considering so many young people around here are... warriors, fighters, have some sort of strong power.... do they really need something as simple as a shopping trip while she's Mom For A Day?

....The offer is there. She wants it to be there, just in case someone does need it. Because maybe she doesn't have a lot of Trench-appropriate skills to put out here, in comparison to others. But being a mother... that's what she wanted to be for her whole life. She's not explicitly framing it that way, but that's what she feels the most comfortable offering, guidance that might fall under the "maternal" or "guardian" category of teaching. )

I'd be happy to treat you to lunch or dinner too, or show you around other places in the city, if you like. The weather's so nice lately.

(CW: Attempted child murder and mildly disturbing images)


[Snow White's memory begins in a very lovely and pleasant way! In fact, there is the sense that Snow White hasn't been able to do something like this in such an agonizingly long time. As she collects wild flowers, she hears the cries of a little bird calling for help. Snow White quickly comes over to the little bluebird to assure it everything will be fine, they'll find the parents soon.

She is completely ignorant to the huntsman behind her. She has no clue he's looking all around to make sure there is no one to watch, no one to observe his next act.

He approaches her, dagger raised high, having every intention to cut out her heart, just as the queen commanded. He steps ever closer and closer until his shadow looms swallows her form.

She turns around and screams at the sight of him ready to kill. She has no defenses. This was the point. She is supposed to die.

But his hands are shaking and the huntsman drops his dagger. He can't, he says. He can't bring himself to kill her. He warns her of the queen, how he wants her dead, she's jealous, mad with it, in fact. She must flee! She must get out of here NOW! No time to do anything but run.

Run! And never return!

Flee!

Her head is spinning, one minute she's being threatened. The next she's being told to flee and never return. She can never return. She can't come back! She has to get away, to get out! No food, no supplies, no nothing, just get away and don't return!

She runs and run, every turn seems like the eyes of her stepmother watching her, every branch that snags her feels like claws trying to drag her back to her stepmother. All she can hear is the blood rushing in her ears.

Snow White has no clue where she's going! She has no idea! She's never been outside of the castle before! Every which way she turns is unfamiliar and looming and dark. As she stumbles back, she feels the ground beneath her give way and she tumbles.

Finally, a voice cuts through:]

Oh dear! Faramund, what are you showing people?

[ Deep breath, come on, you've got this. ]

...just because someone becomes a beast, it doesn't mean they stop being human.

[ The video comes on and it's an older, slender teenager with stark white hair; pale grey eyes and a strangely delicate bright red mark slashed across the left side of his face. He seems to be in a courtyard of sorts, one of Amaterasu's guardian saplings is behind him in full bloom. He's only visible from the chest up, but the chair he's sitting in has handles behind it-- looks like a wheelchair. Whatever is taking the video also appears to be a flying sort of thing that bobs slightly. It's trying to hold this video still, but really... ]

Most of you probably already know this. [ His head cants to the side with a lightly apologetic smile. ] Some of you might even be able to still hear or reach them despite that form.

But not everyone does, and it's still too easy to say "oh, it's safer and quicker to just kill them. You don't save monsters." [ The official creed of the Hunters... but he's diplomatic enough to not say that aloud. ] Or "oh, a Sleeper can just come back." Except it isn't just us. Someone else who isn't... most of them who were human... they aren't like us. [ He smiles softly, but in a way that doesn't reach his eyes. They hood, bittersweet. ]

They're just dead then. The soul suffers until the end. Maybe beyond.

It doesn't have to be like that though. [ He seems a soft-spoken sort with a lilted voice, but his tone shifts then and becomes more certain. ] They aren't just a monster, and they don't have to stay one. Even with what they've become -- the soul is still human. Some part of them still wants to be saved; to be themselves once again. And they can. [ Mostly. At least so far in his experience. ]

Some of us have abilities that can let us purify or reverse what corrupted them and bring them back. Some of us-- [ he pauses, looking for a moment just a touch overwhelmed as his eyes drift to the side, the smallest curl of a touched sort of smile at the corner of his mouth ] ... a number of us, we're trying to do something to change things. At one of the old monasteries in Crenshaw.

[ But he closes his eyes. Deep breath, you can do this.

He lifts his eyes back up to the "camera", his expression schooled now with a quiet sort of determination. Chin up, eyes forward. ]

My name is Allen Walker. I'm an Exorcist. [ Clearer, more certain: steady. Rung like a quiet bell. ]

Who's been able to save someone who became a beast?

[ More importantly: ] Who wants to?

[ It's more determined and clearer still. ]

I need something else to concentrate on.

What do you do when you think you like someone?

How can you be sure?

And if you are sure, how do you proceed?

content warnings: discussion of menstruation and puberty, baus-related beast transformation, complex yet flippant feelings about dead mom stuff

[ Alice's body has been up to some distressing changes. She's under the impression that every single one of them are normal things that happen to a young maiden of a certain age, which is not entirely correct. She has questions, and absolutely does not trust any of the people she lives with to give her a correct answer. Hence, the decision to ask absolutely everyone in Trench at once, because shame is something that happens to other people. ]

( tragic victorian orphan seeks life advice )

[Tory flips on her Omni. Behind her sits a black and gold dragon that is roughly the size of an ostrich. Judging by Tory’s calm body language, it’s clear that the dragon is not a beast, but rather, her omen.]

I’m looking for name suggestions for a female dragon. I thought about calling her either Kindness or possibly Thoughts and Prayers, but I should probably consider something more serious, too.

[Much as she appreciates the sarcastic humour of the names, with people here from so many different worlds, it’s a joke that would probably be lost on most people here.]

Also, I was able to make bug spray with my powers. If you’ve got something to trade, you can have some.

[There’s a short pause before she adds one final thing.]

By the way, if you threaten to cut out someone’s tongue because they said some mean words you didn’t like? You’re a bigger asshole than them. Go touch grass.

Does anyone know an easy way to negate the toxicity and acidic properties of vileblood? It doesn't matter if it also negates its magical abilities, it no longer being actively harmful to get into close contact with is enough.

And I mean fully, like you could drink it without any ill effects. Being able to just touch it with your bare hands isn't enough.

...I would also like to issue a formal apology to Ozpin and his school for my... tantrum about his... habits. I'm largely putting that in the body of this post so that nobody will call me a hypocrite.

[ Luna Lovegood is perhaps the best she's looked in months. Despite the exhausted look about her, and the expression of queasiness — she's void of any trace of Corruption. She's been spending the past several days sleeping, and not sleeping; trying to calm her stomach from the copious amounts of wild animals she'd devoured as a beast. While sustenance for her in Beastform, her stomach now she's human again is... far more delicate. But the worst of it has passed, at least. And Peter has been a blessing for her, making sure she's alright — even if eating has been a little bit of a struggle.

She sits in her room, sat on her bed with her knees curled up to her chest, still dressed in pyjamas. Her Omni rests on her bedside as she begins the broadcast. She's anxious; her brow drawn down in a sorrowful frown. It's important, though. People deserve apologies, even she deserves no luxury of apology in return. She hurt people, quite a lot — and while the memories of the latter half of April are foggy at best, she knows she's done some terrible things. ]

I realise a great deal of people may be very upset with me right now. I would have done this sooner, but I... needed a little bit of time to sort out my mind. [ She's still trying to do that, but it's now or never. ]

I remember the butterflies, and then... it gets a bit mixed up after that. [ It was like... falling down a very, very deep hole. Slowly slipping away from herself, and into something cold and dark and twisted. ]

I'm sorry. I know I hurt a lot of people, I know I— I think I killed people, too. I know I wasn't myself, I became someone terrible and then something terrible. A monstrous Beast. [ It hurts to refer herself as that. No beast is monstrous. But she did monstrous things. That is... simply how it is, and she's ashamed of herself. ] I know people might think it isn't my fault, that I became a Beast — but I still did those things. I barely even know who I did them to, I don't remember much.

But I'm very sorry.

[ She doesn't expect forgiveness, not at all. She's alright with that. Luna's quiet for a long tome, just leaving the apology there. But after a while, she inhales and continues. ]

I was lucky. My friends found me, my boyfriend found me. They brought me back. They knew who I was even though I was a Beast. I can only guess others haven't and won't be so fortunate. [ How many times have Sleepers been killed as Beasts? How many will be in future? ]

I've been doing some thinking, the past couple of days. How to... maybe help Sleepers, somehow. Back home, someone very important to me, a hero to me really, led the way in the study of magical beasts — he's one of the greatest Magizoologists known to Wizardkind. He offered a great deal of insight into beast behaviours, abilities and how best to care for them — compiled it into a textbook.

I'd... like to start doing something like that, but for Sleepers in their Beastforms. I want to do it as my area of study at the School of Mutter. An encyclopaedia of Sleepers' forms of Beasthood, noting their appearance, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. But also how best to help them, calm them down. Bring them back.

[ She doesn't want it to mean it's how to kill them. No, no. Not at all. It's how best to help Sleepers, so they don't have to be killed. But also knowing how best to deal with them, so other Sleepers don't end up getting killed when dealing with Beasts. Merlin knows how many Witches and Wizards were likely killed by magical creatures they had no clue on how to handle them. Wild animals are just that, they can kill. ]

I could have very easily met death at the hands of a Hunter, but I was lucky I didn't. Knowledge is a very powerful tool, and I believe it could do a great deal of good. [ That being said: ] If people have information they'd like to share about their Beastforms, or how they've dealt with bringing Sleepers back — I would like to hear it for my research.

If you'd rather speak in person, you may find me at Ritual Gig in Willful Machine. [ There's a little pause, her voice wobbling slightly. ] You... may have known it as John Constantine's shop, but moving forward I shall be taking up the reins in his absence.

CWs for entire post/threads within: Discussion of sexual orientation, queerness, discrimination against LGBTQ+, homophobia, transphobia, gender identity, themes of coming out etc.

Coming out is such a fuckin' scam.

There's always someone who has to hear this but damn, don't let anyone guilt you into that shit. You don't have to explain any part of your identity to anyone. Not your friends, not your family, not your significant other. Fuckin' nobody. It's your identity. Yours. Not theirs.

And for the record? Don't sweat it so much if you can't figure it out. Sexuality and romantic attraction and gender identity don't need to be forced into some convenient description you found online. It's fine if you haven't found the right word for it. Language is, oftentimes, limiting to the full expression of our existence.

That shit is so fluid most people be wasting their whole life feeling worried about it because everyone around them goes on and on about how they figured their shit out. Like cool, whatever, congrats for them, but trust me, you're not less valid or whatever just because you ain't got a flag to hang yet. It's fine if you never figure it out. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

It's okay to be confused for a long time and it's fine to want to figure out how to fix that, but like, seriously, a lot of that confusion does come from comparing yourself to other people and their own experiences.

Whatever. I'm making this whole post private in case anyone has questions or would like to talk.

Consider this April's sex education lesson. I'm simplifying things, obviously, but the point is to open the discussion. So. Discussion Opened.

Rules of Engagement:

1. You don't get to ask me who else is responding to this post or what they are saying. I will shove my foot so far up your ass all you'll taste for the rest of your life will be dirt.

2. You are allowed to ask me about my own shit, but I'm allowed to decline to answer if I get a weird vibe from you.

3. Feel free to go anonymous. I won't pry.

4. Do not force yourself to discuss things you are not ready to discuss. I'm not going to beg you for dirty deetz so if you're not ready, then maybe tab the conversation for later.

5. Judgement-free zone. I have been on every sketchy part of the web and am completely desensitized. Imagine a thousand-yard stare but instead of war-torn countrysides, I'm just seeing thousands of years' worth of explicit Sonic x Knuckles fanart. Which, okay, actually, dope ship. Bad example. But you get my meaning.

So. Little Trenchlets. I've been here for awhile- [She has been here four days]- and it's hard to keep track of all these people I keep hearing about. So many rumors flying about and it's all so fucking juicy.

So, I'm alone, horny for context, and ready to show mine if you show me yours.

I heard there was a huge party thrown at a house in gaze. A bunch of teens drinking, doing drugs, and kissing with tongues that they just don't know how to use, and providing uninteresting details about alien worms. Completely trashed the place.

Even worse, I heard they robbed the man who let them into his house. Thankfully, he'd warded the objects so if you see a shifty-looking kid or two with their hand blown off, now you know why! There's a moral lesson in there... probably.

Now it's your turn. You don't even have to sign your name. I'm that thirsty for the D(eets).

((Feel free to have your character post "anonymously" about rumors they may have heard about events or themselves in the trench or rumors they want to make up! I highly encourage threadjacking and silliness. Of course, keep it IC, civil, and consider asking permission from others if you think you should.))

CW: Body horror, assault

[The video started with a young man leaning over to assess the creature in question, but Luke's expression was already shifting from empathetic concern to alert and aware of something being off about the situation he found himself in.

In the trees, the shadows seem to deepen and thicken and all the birds stop their singing. The forest seems to go still as the shadows of the trees seem to move, dropping down to the forest floor and black smoke in tendrils crawl along the ground. For a single moment, it might even seem like a few had feet before the tendrils took on a more slithering appearance.

Luke had stood straight and turned towards the shadows and the hilt of the lightsaber came to hand.]

Who's there?

[Suddenly the smoky tendrils withdrew like they had been burned and a black creature that had little shape shot forward. Many eyes, a few mouths with shiny white teeth appeared in seemingly random places all over the black-body. Just as suddenly a gloved hand shot out of the whirling thick smoke creature of twisting tentacles, eyes, mouths. The gloved hand might look familiar as he closed around Luke's wrist holding the lightsaber.

A disjointed laugh echoed through the mass of black smoke, teeth sharpening and eyes widening all around. A voice sounded from many mouths, layering over top of each other.]

Ah ah ah... there's no need for toys.

[Black tentacles crawled around the ground to wrap around Luke's ankles then up legs as the Jedi struggled and fought to be free. Suddenly the consolidated mass of black smoke billowed forward to envelop the brunette like a noxious living cloud. The way the smoke was forced to puff out here and there indicated the continued fight going on unseen.

Smoke whirled like a miniature tornado, stirring up leaves, snapping twigs, and throwing small pebbled around. The hilt of a lightsaber rolled out from the smoke, and then there's a soft mournful call of a bird before the video ended abruptly.]

[OOC: Luke is in green & Reaper is in red. Replies will likely come from both of them.]

[CW: Talk of violence, bloodshed, murder.]

( Can a monster ever stop being a monster? )

[ Sasuke thought about asking this through text. He likely should have, because his emotions have been strong lately, a lot stronger than he wants them to be, and his anger has been nearly as quick and hot as it was when he was on his path of revenge. But it feels cheap somehow to ask such an important question via text. He can't do video due to his eyes, so he tries to keep his voice even to conceal just how much this question means to him.

The feed is silent for a little longer than is probably natural, but he's still figuring out how to us his omni, so. Y'know. Be gentle here.

Finally, it picks up a sigh that almost sounds annoyed. ]

How did the world treat orphans where you're from? Was there an age where someone was considered a child versus an adult? Were there children who were considered unworthy of help or were the rules in place blanketed towards all children?

[ There's a pause where he realizes he should make it seem like this is less about, y'know, him, and more about curiosity on how to help kids here maybe. Uhhhh... ]

... Would there be things from your world that you would want to see offered to the children in this one?

[Maul looks very serious but also with a touch of the cat that finally caught the canary as he starts the video.]

I thought I would just give a formal announcement that I have broken the curse which has been on me since Deerington. For those who didn't know about it, it caused me to feel pain whenever I harmed another sentient being. But no more.

[He sounds extremely pleased by that. Though any traces of glee are soon replaced by a murderous expression on his face, his eyes hardening until there is only fury in them.]

If any of you feel like being clever and immediately trying to put another leash upon me, I would advise against it. I didn't retaliate this time but next time I will kill anyone who tries to meddle in my life, whether or not it is my own hand that ends your life.[Maul's got enough people in town who he knows would eagerly kill for him if he asked them to, his brother and mate both chief among them. While he usually prefers to do his own dirty work, he's not willing to put himself through another eight months of being muzzled.] Or I shall simply make your life so miserable that you wish you were dead. After all, most sentient species contain around two hundred to four hundred bones. Consider the fact I know how to break each and every one of them. Or how most species will continue to survive as long as the brain has oxygen and the hearts continue to pump blood regardless of what else is done to their body. Just a thought.

[He pauses and adds on a little at the end.]

As for the three that did it? You already know I don't forgive and I don't forget. Run and hide if you like. I'll come and find you soon enough.

[Vira-Lorr was seated in her shop, reclining in her chair and looking at the table, her omni set up on the other side. She had a frown on her face, her eyes narrowed. The third eye glittered a little, seeming to almost glow softly in the low light of the room. The candles that were set out flickered and gave the fortune teller's chamber a soft, almost eerie glow.

On the table in front of her were a set of three tarot cards. She steepled her fingers, looking them over before sighing and turning her gaze to the feed, shrugging.]

Well, I never said my visions were always pleasant. Just a thought for my fellow sleepers, as you get ready for the next month. The locals call February a bitter month, and the story of Doorway is not exactly a happy one, trapped and forever waiting for someone who may never return.

Next month, you may be plagued by the possibilities, the imaginings and wishes that you might have in your hearts. Unsure, you might just find yourself at a crossroads, an important decision to be made. And if you choose one way, you may find yourself... what is the saying? "Crying over spilled milk" while you do not see the cups there, full on the shelf and waiting. But a choice always has at least two possible outcomes, yes?

[She reached over and drew another card. She smirked softly.]

Perhaps you might find what it is you want. The season of the Egg Moon is supposed to be a time of Rites, after all. Follow your hearts and choose wisely.

[And with that vague smirk, she flicked the camera feed off.]

[content warnings: thalassophobia, prophecies of doom]

Citizen-Sleepers of Trench

My name is Paul Atreides. Some of you know me. I am a paleblood disciple of the Pthumerian mysteries, a fellow Sleeper, and I have been granted a warning.

( a briefing )

hey my name is shōyō hinata, that’s 日向翔陽! there’s a lot of kanji about the sun and flying in it☀️🪶 i’m a pro volleyball player and i’m gonna be one of those night walkers. even if that really sounds like something you’d name a zombie, doesn’t it? why don’t they use THE FUN GUYS or WALKING ARCADE?

anyway if anyone needs a good time, i know exactly what you need! sports. it gives your brain the same amount of searatonin and dopemeen that doing nsfw stuff does so we’ll win big any way you look at!! 💪 [ searatonin and dopemeen are not typos. he doesn’t really remember how to type them correctly. head empty, only balls. ] i’ll play anything you’d like, even though volleyball’s what i know most about. i tried pretty much everything in middle school or saw it on tv so i know basics ⚽️🏀🏈🏉⚾️🎾🏓🏸🏒. beach volleyball too, i played for a couple years in rio. if you just want to talk or hug or hang out and not do sports stuff, i’m cool with that too. just uhhh not the nsfw stuff i guess. only if we hit it off, or something. like that. i’ve never been on a date before. oh, and i can do delivery gigs, too. i worked for ifood and ubereats for a while.

anyway i’m looking for a knife, how to use it and how to suplex someone in self defense as first payment for SPORTS, IFOOD or VOLLEYBALL (BEACH OR COURT!!!) but after that food and playing more sports is a fair trade. if you just want to hang out, duh, that’s free. we can be friends.

just send me a message through here or private anytime! might be a little slow on the sports still cuz my legs and bones are recovering, but i really need to move before i go rusty. obrigado! thank you! ありがとう!

[Snow White, per the norm, is surrounded by animals who seem to be organizing things for Snow. Snow has a bright red something draped across her lap, it is very clearly fabric but what it looks like otherwise is unclear.

Why hello there! Oh my goodness! I really must thank Madam Generosity for such a lovely gown! I've never felt more like a princess! And it's my favorite color! I wonder how she even knew!

Did anyone else receive a gift from her? No wonder her name is Madam Generosity! She's so wonderfully kind! It puts everyone in a better state of mind.

Actually! If I may have just a moment of your time, might you be able to answer a question of mine?

Does anyone else have people constantly dropping off things on their doorstep or lingering just outside your home?

I don't mean for Christmas time, rather outside of that? I don't really mind, and, truly, no one has been unkind!

I even got something on my birthday and no one has ever given me a birthday present before! Or at least, I think it was a birthday present. [Snow turns to her birds who seem to SHRUG. They don't know either.]

People keep leaving me all sorts of things on my doorstep.

It's becoming a bit difficult to keep up with sending thank you gifts in return!

Is anyone else experiencing this? Should I be concerned?