Deer Country Network

( if you catch this video fast enough when it starts, the viewer will see a feminine hand coming to view. but that hand quickly ducks down off screen and all the video shows now is an open living room. alright, this seems odd and rather boring.

that is until, suddenly a rocket launcher shark comes into the viewing. whoa! it's pretty huge. it's all in the camera but whoever is controlling it is trying to inch it perfectly. once that's done, the jaw of this weapon starts to move and out comes out a goofy voice someone is providing for it.)

❝Hello everyone! I hope I didn't surprise or scare anyone with my appearance! I've been meaning to chat with you all for a very long time but... ❞

( a little pause as the head looks down to the floor. )

❝ SOMEONE'S been a little rude and wouldn't let me meet people. But it looks like today is the day! So... ask me anything! I'm an open book or we can chat about our favorite things!! I looooooooove talking about good and happy stuff. So don't be shy! ❞

Is anybody else here older than 100?

[Ronan's sitting in a chair backwards, tipped forward so only two on its legs are on the ground as he plucks a few chocolate-covered peanuts off a vine-like plant growing on the desk and shoves them in his mouth with all the grace of a teenage boy that's spent the last couple years very unparented. He's tall, broad-shouldered, with hooks of black ink on his skin that curve up his neck, beyond his tank top. His physique speaks to physical exertion as a hobby as much as for exercise, his hair buzzed close to his skull.

Honestly, Ronan had hated cell phones even back home, so this whole thing makes him cringe internally. But whatever, he was doing this. At least he can have his Omen do it. He regards his night horror with glacial blue eyes that imply venom, not kindness as it broadcasts him to the network.]

As an entitled jerk back home, my idea of cooking mostly revolved around ordering takeout from this pizza place and waiting for it to arrive at my door. Which isn't really the vibe I get here.

So I'm looking for beginner-friendly recipes with a low risk of disaster, if anyone's got any.

I mean, I could make poptarts in the toaster and the cookies you took out of the fridge and put in the oven, so I'm not inept or something. Just never had much reason to go beyond the sort of cooking you could do in a microwave.

[He pauses, considering a moment as he rocks the chair back and forth on the carpet. A juvenile raven creeps into the frame from behind Ronan, moving towards the desk surprisingly stealthily for a giant black bird; he seems unaware.]

And you know, if anyone's willing to show me some stuff, that'd be cool. Not for free- I'm sure I can come up with something to trade for it. I'm good at getting things off tall shelves, street racing, punching people, and some other shit. I'm sure we can figure out a trade of some sort.

[He considers ending it there, but instead, hesitates. And in a hilarious show of burying the lead--]

So, the whole squid thing. Did that feel weird for anyone else? I mean, weirder than weird. Familiar or something. Like deja vu? Like you'd done it before, or.. been something like that before?

In honour of Discount Chocolate Day, I'm giving away chocolate.

The price? Share either the best advice you've ever heard, or the worst advice.

[Maul usually only posted once to the network per month, so the fact there was a second post from him and so soon after the first might have been cause for alarm, except he didn't look at all serious. He had a rolled scroll with him. After seeing Savage post on the network, he'd felt it was time to take action.]

It has come to my attention that my little brother Savage is going to be without a date for the second year in a row here in Trench as Valentine's Day approaches. This is unacceptable, so I am rectifying the situation by finding him one. To that end, I have complied a list of his traits for those of you who have not had the pleasure of getting to know him well.

[Then he unrolled the scroll. Yep, Maul had written down a numbered list of all his brother's good qualities.]

Item one: He's tall. Ridiculously so. Which is not pertinent to those of you who are also tall, but for the short ones in this city, it is always good to have someone who can get things off the top shelf and step on those who oppose you.

Item two: He's extremely loyal. It takes him a very long time to open up to you and learn to trust, but once he does, you will have his trust for life. You can't ask for someone who will stick by your side for a longer period of time than he will.

Item three: He's very caring. Related to the above, he always puts himself last and so he'll make sure all your needs are met first. Indeed, sometimes it can be hard to get him to take care of himself even when he needs to.

Item four: He comes with a very cute pet named Ruin who is a rathtar he will gladly show off to you if you come over to visit.

Item five: He is a decent fighter. Considering the perilous nature of this city, it's useful to have someone who knows how to wield a lightsaber or who can gore an opponent to death with his horns on your side. Do keep in mind he may challenge you to a battle in order to start proper Nightbrother courtship, so you may want to bring weapons on your first date.

Item six: He's good-looking. I will accept no arguments on this fact simply because some of you are used to human-centric worlds. Don't be speciesist. The proof speaks for itself.

[He held up a sketch he'd put down next to this item on the scroll to prove his point.]

Item seven: He's good at hunting. When this place eventually collapses into dust, there will be little food left, so it will help to have someone who can track down and kill game for you to eat. Not to mention there might be lean months as it is for one reason or another.

Item eight: He is family-oriented. He is very good with kits and I'm sure wouldn't mind having five or six of his own down the line if the relationship progresses that far.

[He rolled the scroll back up.]

I will now take applicants to be vetted by me first before I set you up with him. Do keep in mind if any of you break his hearts, I will be forced to break you in return, so be kind to him. Go out for a nice dinner or hunt in the woods or have a good sparring match and this will all go according to plan.

[.......Stick around long enough on this post and one might have the pleasure of seeing Savage toss Maul through a wall for trying to set him up on a date.]

[Savage almost never posting to the network, but with all the people being affected by this upcoming heart day, he figured there were answers that were necessary to make it survivable. Or at least probably less anger-inducing because people were insufferable overall.]

This... Valentine's Day thing. It's for mates to reaffirm their bond to one another from what I have gathered.

What do all the singles supposed to do? We don't have such a day like this where I'm from, and our mates generally despise us anyway, so nothing like this would work.

It seems last year it was some single people being sad and pathetic. I assume there is something single people are supposed to do that I'm missing.

[He may as well try to learn some traditions beyond his own. He's never had to frantically try speed dating; their version was a fight to the death to impress a Nightsister, so it was short-lived for some.]

Been experiencing a number of break ins and thefts at the roost
Heard similar from some willful machine vendors
Hardware and things
Anyone else notice it

If its someone in a bind to fix something i have no problem helping
You dont have to resort to stealing
Just ask me
When the roost is open
At night please

[that said, he can also be found during the day there...cleaning up stuff that'd been disturbed in his absence and feeling out where he can put locks on things.]

Since everyone else is asking questions:

Bonding Pacts: How revealing are the connections? Can you feel everything the other is feeling? Can you keep anything private?

Has anyone had a bad experience with a bond?

Did your bond help with corruption or beasthood?

Did you regret getting one?

[ ...and then another, since he might as well: ]

And unrelated: How many times have you died here? Does it have side effects?

[ By the 15th, this post will have disappeared off the network. ]

[Maul was sitting outside on his roof, the snow softly coming down around him, hood up so they didn't land on his head. There was a soft, contemplative look on his face that he didn't often wear. For those that knew Maul, they'd realize there was one big change. His eyes, which had constantly been a golden color before, were now instead a grey-brown.

Next to him, looking perfectly fine with this cold weather due to the fur that made him little more than a ball of fluff, was his Mankey, named rather fittingly Cranky. Though Maul seemed unaware of it, the Pokémon was imitating his master in body language perfectly right now, sitting down with his arms folded and staring off into the distance. Mankey see, Mankey do and all that.

There was a long pause before he began the video. He was woolgathering and trying to put everything together, saying it in just the right way.]

For anyone I teach, classes will commence again now that I am back. [There was a pause.] In case you were unaware, I made a long journey to my home galaxy for about three years, though I understand I was only gone for about a week here. I had....quite the experience just before I came back with the Dark Side of the Force. I had to face a great many things about myself and learn some hard truths. But while I could not accept what it had to offer me then, I think I am ready to now. To let go of the past, to put some of my pain behind me, to gain more power than I ever thought I could.

[Always with the search of power. He couldn't help it, such a thing was ingrained into him by now.]

It taught me to let go of fear and pain and instead learn to care about others, to keep anger close, but never to let it turn self-destructive. Things many of you have told me here but which I did not want to listen to. But who am I to deny it when the Force itself tells me such things? [There was a soft laugh.] Well, I have returned and don't plan to go anywhere, much to the misfortune of some of you.....But this has proven an interesting experience, one I shall take heed of going forward.

[Rose looks perturbed, chewing on her lower lip]

I...realize that we all have our concerns right now, but I was--well, I was hoping for assistance?

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and I want to do something really special for Snow now that we're together. Something beyond the usual flowers and chocolates and cards, although she'll get all three from me.

But of course this depends on whatever we're being put through this month. I'd still like to find some way to make it special. [and her expression turns stern] And if The Doorway chooses to do something truly awful to us, I'll never forgive them!

[and back to smiling!]

In any case, I appreciate your assistance and your ideas most of all. Thank you.

HELLO YOU WONDERFUL AND AMAZING PEOPLE OF TRENCH!

[Are your eardrums ringing from that enthusiastic greeting? Usagi is already incredibly complimentary and encouraging to her friends to begin with, so her suddenly being compelled to be MORE complimentary and encouraging?

Well, it's led to... this. No one should be shocked that the rabbit is now amped to the nth degree.]

LET'S ALL GIVE THE PEOPLE WE CARE FOR COMPLIMENTS!

We've done the whole "insult and edgy dirt nonsense" on people thing but time for some love! Cause who doesn't love love?

And I don't mean like, backhanded compliments. Real compliments! Good compliments! [She pumps a fist.] You can totally do it! I believe in each and every one of you!

And if you really, really, REALLY cannot give someone ELSE a compliment, give yourself one! You deserve one, too!

cw: this entire post deals with depression, abandonment issues, & loss of a loved one.
( you say that i'm perfect but am i? )

[backdated to Jan 25 because time isn't real]

With February almost upon us, I wanted to share some of the information I've gathered from other Sleepers, so that hopefully everyone will have more forewarning about the coming weirdness than they did last year. If the information contained in this post doesn't match up with your own experiences, or if you have more information to offer, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below! The books in the Archive might help, but ultimately our most reliable source of information on dealing with Trench is each other.

So! Last February a male humanoid of variable appearance (one correspondent described him as "massive like an elephant") appeared in Trench, offering chocolates of a magical nature in exchange for drops of Sleeper blood. These chocolates are reported to have unpredictably mutagenic or psychoactive effects; one correspondent reported that the chocolate they received caused them to painfully grow a set of antlers, while another stated that some of the chocolates could drive the ones who ate them into an involuntary murder spree.

It is further reported that this person or entity is able to exert a psychic influence on Sleepers, compelling them to make the trade for its wares. At this time there is no known way to resist this compulsion, so I must once again ask that anyone who has successfully done so, or has an actionable theories for how it may be accomplished, to please write into the comments below. I will of course be updated this post with new information as it arrives.

[to those who've been to the rookery and looked up this might be easy to put together, and definitely easier for those who have been inside jinx's treehouse - that's exactly where this pink-haired girl is sitting on the floor, in front of a sofa, holding a can of chicken noodle soup.

there's another can beside her but it's empty and on its side, with a huge hole in it - the pocket knife maul gave to jinx lying next to it.

her other hand holds up a chomper, pride, confusion and a bit of awe on her face - a face that's even more expressive at this age (not a tattoo or a piercing in sight) - before she looks directly into the omni, which fang is silently holding for her. what a helpful omen.]

Now I know my sister's here. See this? Hers, no doubt about it. So where is she? Who here knows Powder? No one better be messing with her.

[she'd say sorry about the soup, but she isn't. though ...this place? it looks like whoever she's staying with keeps a nice home. what a responsible adult they must be.]

Theres a new heading on my compass
Are others getting this signal too
Even at the Outpost its glowing

Checking out that ways gonna take some setup same as last time
Incense weepers protective gear
The woods are no joke and the corruption is almost nonstop
Dont go out there unprepared and just become a liability someone else has to deal with

Best bet is at least four people in a group if not more for safety and sleep rotations
Someone with fire for sure
Healer helps a lot

Seriously do not forget the mushrooms

Anyone wanting to squad up can meet me at the outpost before daybreak tomorrow
Best to travel in daytime and defend at night
If anyone has a lantern to donate or use please bring it so we can stake out whats out there and save the travel later

Chizuru
K
You dont have to open up the roost if you dont want to while im out
Up to you
I know theres some shedding stuff going on thats causing some chaos

[sansa looks...worried. she wears her new things from madame generosity, including a long sleeved dress covered in iridescent leather pieces that could be scales or feathers, and a feathered padded collar with silver direwolf caps (lady, at her side, has one to match). her needle necklace hangs from a silver hoop and clips into the side of her wide leather belt with the rest of her chatelaine.

she's quilting something in her lap, and the direwolf tapestry behind her couch no longer has antlers. there are silver scales on her face and hands, which are looking very well-moisturized.]

Hallo, this is Sansa Stark. I was wondering if anybody has had any luck in finding mushrooms for Madame Generosity. Winter and I went to look at the place where got them for The Tower, but we couldn't find any there. I wanted to know if anyone has looked at any of the other places and found mushrooms. I suppose we could always use the compasses to try and scout more of them, otherwise.

[mounting an expedition of unknown length during winter is of course not ideal...even if the weather seems to be easing up, and there's only going to be one month of it left. she sighs and sticks her needle in her pile of quilting.]

Madame Generosity has always been very kind and helpful, and I don't like to see her suffer. Besides, I imagine it could be very dangerous if The Doorway falls ill, and we had best be well-stocked of the mushrooms for treatment.

[hopefully someone has discovered an abundant new source of mushrooms, perhaps in a mysterious city of some kind with a temple dedicated to an enemy pthumerian who has been behind the mysterious plague all along!!!]

alright my lil raptors!!! its ur fav person in the whole world w/ a few announcements!

and theyre pretty important so u better read up or there will be consequences!

( what's a raptor? don't worry, it's just a chicken from her world. she is basically calling all of you chickens.)

1. theres a girl here named chizuru. her un is lookingforshinsengumi for the record. shes my girl now so dont mess w/ her unless u want to watch ur step from when u wake up till u sleep!! if that doesnt get u, then be careful what u shove in ur mouth. u might burn it off!! 🔥 😊😊😊

2. id talk about the crazy ppl under trench but someone is already screaming about it so i dont have to!!!! good thing too so i can make room for more important matters.

3. THE CLINK N CLANK IS NOW OPEN!!! 💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥

and whats the clink n clank? GLAD U ASKED EVERYONE!!

the clink n clank is the newest and the bestest shop here in trench. run by yours truly. i will make shit, repair shit, and im selling shit.

meaning weapons.

ill also break in any lock places u want me to do. i can repair other stuff too and make keys! im not free every day tho. a girls got a life u know. SO IF URE INTERESTED!!! just contact my other un CLINX!!!

guesssss thats it! dont get swallowed up down w/ the crazies!

[The video started with an opening shot of what looked like a bag of coal. It zoomed in on the tag attached with its blocky lettering and signature...

MERRY CHRISTMAS
-DARTH MAUL

The camera shifted a little as Keith crouched down next to it, and then turned it so that both he and the bag of coal were in the picture.

He smirked.]

Thanks, man. It'll help keep the house warm during the cold weather. Best gift ever.

[And click - he was gone.]

[She’s been here for over a week now. Time to get the lay of the land. The video opens up to a particularly tall blonde woman with a golden skeletal arm and a smirk. She's here to cause problems on purpose.]

Greetings, hello, salutations. My name is Ianthe Naberius. I’m new in town, twenty two, a princess of Ida, unfortunately single and dreadfully bored!

Now, I come to you today, not only to introduce myself, but to ask something of all of you.

Who do you hate most in Trench and why? I’m trying to meet people, network, but it’s so hard and overwhelmingly positive! So consider this an open invitation. Warn me about that dangerous scoundrel who kicked your puppy, seethe about how much you despise me for whatever reason, tell me about your parasocial hateful fixation on one of the local divinity. It can be a minor slight you want to complain about, a friend of yours who owes you two perfectly intact human skulls, or it can be an actual danger to this lovely little community of ours.

Now, before you try to say “this is childish and stupid!” You’re absolutely right, but it is a necessary part of self care to allow oneself to be an absolute cunt once in a while. [Or all the time, if your name is Ianthe.] So let’s not make any grand claims to being above something like this, mm?

Feel free to use the anonymity feature. Or the privacy feature, I guess, if you’re shy or worried about being fileted like a fish.

Alright, bitches. It's apparently been a hella long time since I've graced anyone in this timeline with my presence. I tried the whole reaching out one by one thing so as not to shock the system, but that shit got time consuming and my attention span is only so strong.

So, if you remember me, tell me, and maybe fill me in on important life developments. Or like. Just leave me a meme that sums up this shit hole the best.

...

Actually, everyone should leave me one of those. Chop, chop, get to it. Whenever Santa's elves aren't busy trying to eat your fucking face off or whatever.

[ She goes to shut off the feed but flicks it on literally two seconds later. ]

Is there weed in this place, by the way? Asking for a friend.